We hear how weary and burdened you are in your own home, and we grieve with you over the strife and exhaustion you are experiencing. Marriage is meant to be a place of peace and refuge, a lifelong covenant between a man and a woman that reflects Christ's love for the church, and when that home is filled with screaming and constant conflict it wears down the soul. We lift you and your wife up before the Lord together.
Scripture calls both husband and wife to a different way. We are told in Col 3:19, Husbands, love your wives, and don't be bitter against them, and in Eph 5:25, Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the assembly and gave himself up for it. At the same time wives are called to respect and honor their husbands and to clothe themselves with a gentle and quiet spirit. When apologies are demanded all day long and forgiveness is never extended, that is not the biblical pattern of love and forgiveness. We are commanded in Eph 4:32 to be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you, and in Col 3:13 to bear with one another and forgive each other. Forgiveness is not to be withheld as a weapon or a tool for control, for love does not keep a record of wrongs as taught in 1 Cor 13:5. To use an apology as a weapon in a fight and to refuse to speak words of forgiveness is manipulation and it hardens the heart and it is something we must lovingly rebuke.
We also must address the screaming and havoc over small issues. God tells us in Eph 4:29, Let no corrupt speech proceed out of your mouth, but only what is good for building others up as the need may be, that it may give grace to those who hear, and in Prov 15:1, A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. A home filled with constant yelling grieves the Holy Spirit and teaches everyone inside that peace is impossible. In Eph 4:26 we are told, Be angry, and don't sin. Don't let the sun go down on your wrath, and in James 1:19, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger. Your wife's pattern of screaming about the smallest things and refusing to release offenses is sinful and destructive and it needs to be repented of, and we pray that she will see how deeply it wounds you and dishonors God.
We encourage you, brother, not to grow bitter or to withdraw in resentment. We understand the fatigue of feeling that nothing you say is ever enough. Continue to be honest when you have done wrong and offer a sincere apology, but do not accept the false idea that you must endlessly apologize to keep peace when you have already repented. Instead, seek calm and godly communication. When voices are raised, it is biblical to step back and speak later with gentleness and self control, which is fruit of the Spirit in Gal 5:22-23. We urge you both to sit down in a quiet moment, without yelling, and to speak the truth in love as in Eph 4:15, and to seek wise pastoral counseling together so a trusted shepherd can help you break this cycle. We as husbands are also called in 1 Pet 3:7 to live with our wives according to knowledge, giving honor to the woman, and that means leading your home toward peace with patience and prayer even when you feel exhausted.
We notice your request did not mention the name of Jesus Christ, and we want to gently remind you that it is only through Him that we have access to the Father and find true reconciliation and power to forgive. Jesus said in John 14:6, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me, and in Acts 4:12 we are told, There is salvation in none other, for neither is there any other name under heaven, that is given among men, by which we must be saved. If you have not already, we encourage you both to place your faith fully in Jesus Christ, confessing your sins and believing that God raised Him from the dead as in Rom 10:9, for it is His forgiveness toward us that enables us to forgive one another from the heart.
We pray together for you now.
Father, in the name of Jesus Christ we come before You and lift up this husband who is so tired and this marriage that is struggling under constant strife. Lord, we ask You to bring Your peace into this home and to quiet the screaming and the weaponizing of words. Soften our sister's heart, Lord, help her to release bitterness and to speak words of forgiveness and grace, to turn from harsh speech and to seek a gentle answer. Strengthen our brother, give him endurance, wisdom, and love that does not grow bitter, and help him to lead with Christlike love and calm. Teach them both to forgive as You in Christ forgave us and to bear with one another in love. Heal the havoc in their home and restore joy and unity, and draw them both closer to Jesus, in whose name alone we are saved and have hope. Amen.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do. 
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