Elisabeth II
Faithful Servant
I have a real strong desire to live a decent life as a woman while on this planet. As a Christian woman, we are taught to desire a family above all. Many Scriptures support this and our lifestyles are geared to this from the cradle to the grave. Well, it has not happened for me. I have prayed and I have cried and prayed the Word and cried some more. Asked for intercessors. People to agree with me on the Word of God. Even subscribed to online website Christian Mingle to meet someone. I actually did meet someone who seemed nice. He gave me his number first. Seemed OK. But something went terribly wrong. What was supposed to be a dinner date on Friday Jan 2 turned out to be breakfast on New Years. He talked about his ex wife so much that I know her name. And his kids.Then, he offered to bring groceries to my house on New Years, so we ended up eating in. The Friday dinner never happened. He stood me up. Then hung up the phone when I wanted to know why. After all, there WERE reservations made at a nice restaurant. No explanation, no return of texts. Nothing. I figured it out, I want to make a home with someone. This guy wanted HIS home back (where the ex-wife was remarried and living with the kids).
I am waaay past the age where a woman is supposed to want this (mid 50's). Yet I keep trying, believing that if God promised it, it should be so. I was just trying to put myself in position "to be found." Like "He who finds a wife... " So I want to pray now that the Lord take away all that selfishness. I am tired of being hurt and tired of people leading me on like it can happen. I do not want to date. I have dated - too many times to count. By my age, guys have the ex-wife that they are still in contact with and still love. I don't want to be the fill-in while the reconciliation is happening.
It's even nasty when people (women) even hear somebody like me who should be bouncing grandchildren is even thinking such thoughts. They say "Do you REALLY want to be marriied- at your age???" When I am praying for a husband and the guy is praying to be reconciled to an ex-wife or the mother of the kids.
I cannot continue to pray for marriage. It's a selfish prayer. Please pray that the Lord take this desire from me if He is not going to give me a husband. I just want to continue to seek the Lord's face. If the Lord reveals His purpose for me, I can continue to grow old, serve the Lord, then die in peace. Please pray that the Lord will continue to meet my needs, keep me in a reasonable portion of health and strength and honor my service to Him until He takes me home to be with him.
I am waaay past the age where a woman is supposed to want this (mid 50's). Yet I keep trying, believing that if God promised it, it should be so. I was just trying to put myself in position "to be found." Like "He who finds a wife... " So I want to pray now that the Lord take away all that selfishness. I am tired of being hurt and tired of people leading me on like it can happen. I do not want to date. I have dated - too many times to count. By my age, guys have the ex-wife that they are still in contact with and still love. I don't want to be the fill-in while the reconciliation is happening.
It's even nasty when people (women) even hear somebody like me who should be bouncing grandchildren is even thinking such thoughts. They say "Do you REALLY want to be marriied- at your age???" When I am praying for a husband and the guy is praying to be reconciled to an ex-wife or the mother of the kids.
I cannot continue to pray for marriage. It's a selfish prayer. Please pray that the Lord take this desire from me if He is not going to give me a husband. I just want to continue to seek the Lord's face. If the Lord reveals His purpose for me, I can continue to grow old, serve the Lord, then die in peace. Please pray that the Lord will continue to meet my needs, keep me in a reasonable portion of health and strength and honor my service to Him until He takes me home to be with him.
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