We hear the loud crying of your heart and we are lifting you up together before the throne of grace in Jesus name. Your suffering is not hidden from God, He sees the diminishment and pressure and pain you are carrying from family and coworkers and pupils, and He draws near to the brokenhearted.
The Lord says in Psalm 34:18, Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit. And in Psalm 147:3, He heals the broken in heart, and binds up their wounds. We know the grief of losing your father last year is still so heavy, and the longing to visit his grave is understandable, and the conflict with your brother and your mother that keeps you from going has added to that wound. God is your Father now who will not leave you, for Psalm 68:5 says, A father of the fatherless, and a defender of the widows, is God in his holy habitation, and Psalm 68:6 says, God sets the lonely in families.
You wonder if this is a nasty evil power or spirit or force. We want to speak truth to you about this. Scripture tells us in Ephesians 6:12, For our wrestling is not against flesh and blood, but against the principalities, against the powers, against the world's rulers of the darkness of this age, and against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. There is a real enemy, and 1 Peter 5:8 says, Be sober and self-controlled. Be watchful. Your adversary, the devil, walks around like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. Yet not every painful interaction is direct demonic attack, much of it is the brokenness of people living in sin, speaking harshly, manipulating and gaslighting. That behavior is still evil and God calls it sin, but we are not to live in fear of spirits. James 4:7 says, Be subject therefore to God. But resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Our protection is not in focusing on the evil force but in abiding in Christ. When we submit to God and walk in His truth, the enemy has no authority over us.
We also must gently rebuke and correct what is happening in your family, because what you describe is not the way God designed family to love one another. Manipulation, insults, gaslighting, transferring guilt and withholding help to punish you are not love. Ephesians 4:32 says, And be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you. And Colossians 3:13 says, bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, if any man has a complaint against any, even as Christ forgave you, so you also do. Your brother's insults and refusal to help, and your mother saying both of you are guilty when you have been hurt, is not righteous judgment. We encourage you to speak the truth in love as Ephesians 4:15 teaches, to set healthy and biblical boundaries, and to not return evil for evil. Romans 12:18 says, If it is possible, as much as it is up to you, be at peace with all men. And Matthew 5:44 says, But I tell you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who mistreat you and persecute you. This does not mean you must accept abuse or manipulation, but that you entrust justice to God and choose forgiveness in your heart so bitterness does not take root.
Regarding your father's grave, we understand your desire to honor his memory and grieve there. It is not wrong to want to go, but we want to comfort you that your father is not there in a way that you need a car or your brother's permission to be close to him or to find healing. Your healing will come from the Lord, not from a place. If God wills for you to go, He can provide another way, perhaps a pastor, a church family, a trusted coworker or public transportation, rather than remaining dependent on a brother who is currently acting in an ungodly way toward you. We pray God will open a peaceful and safe provision for you to go if it is His will, and that He will comfort you even if the visit is delayed.
You share that you have no friends and no husband and that you long for a normal loving family, especially now in grief. The Lord put that longing in your heart, and we pray with you for it. We believe in the sanctity of marriage as a lifelong commitment between a man and a woman as outlined in the Bible, and we pray that if it is God's will for you, He will bring a godly Christian husband who will love you as Christ loved the church, and that you would pursue courtship with the goal of marriage that honors God. We also pray that God will set you in a spiritual family now, a Bible believing church where you can be seen, supported and loved, because God does not want you to walk alone. Psalm 68:6 reminds us God sets the lonely in families, and often that family is the body of Christ.
You cried out lord please help me, and we want to gently point you to the only name by which we have access to God and by which we are saved. You did not mention the name of Jesus Christ in your request, and we must tell you in love that it is only through Jesus that our prayers are heard and our sins are forgiven. John 14:6 says, Jesus said to him, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me. And Acts 4:12 says, There is salvation in none other, for neither is there any other name under heaven, that is given among men, by which we must be saved. If you have not yet put your trust in Jesus as Lord and Savior, who died for your sins and rose again, we urge you to believe in Him, confess Him as Lord, and call upon His name. Romans 10:9 says, that if you will confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. Through Jesus we can cast all our anxiety on God because He cares for us as 1 Peter 5:7 says, casting all your worries on him, because he cares for you.
We also want to encourage you where you are being diminished at work and even by your pupils. God sees your labor. When we are persecuted or pressured, we can come to Christ who says in Matthew 11:28, Come to me, all you who labor and are heavily burdened, and I will give you rest. And Isaiah 41:10 says, Do not be afraid, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. Yes, I will help you. Yes, I will uphold you with the right hand of my righteousness. And Romans 8:28 reminds us, We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, to those who are called according to his purpose.
So together we pray.
Father in heaven, we come before You in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, Your Son, and we lift up this dear precious soul who is crying so loud in her heart. Lord, You see her grief for her father, You see the loneliness, the pressure, the gaslighting and manipulation from family and coworkers and pupils, You see the tears no one else sees. We ask that You wrap her in Your comfort as the God of all comfort in 2 Corinthians 1:3. Heal her broken heart and bind up her wounds. Let Your perfect peace that surpasses all understanding guard her heart and mind in Christ Jesus as Philippians 4:7 promises.
We rebuke every work of the enemy against her in Jesus name and we ask that You resist the devil on her behalf as she submits herself to You. Let no weapon formed against her prosper and let truth expose every lie and manipulation. Give her discernment, wisdom and strength to set boundaries in love, to forgive as You have forgiven her, and to not be overcome by evil but to overcome evil with good as Romans 12:21 says.
Lord, we ask for reconciliation in her family if it is possible, soften her brother's heart and her mother's heart, bring conviction where there is sin, and bring repentance and kindness. Provide for her a way to grieve well, whether that includes a visit to her father's grave or a deeper healing that comes from Your presence alone, and provide practical help and transportation through godly people around her.
Father, set her in family. Bring faithful Christian friends and a loving church body around her who will bear her burdens. If it is Your will, bring a godly husband for her, a man who fears You and will love her and lead a marriage that honors You, and prepare her heart for that courtship and marriage. Until then, be her Husband and Defender, be her ever present help.
We pray she would know Jesus more deeply, that she would call upon His name and trust Him fully for salvation and for daily access to Your throne. Strengthen her, uphold her with Your righteous right hand, and let her know she is not alone, that You are near to her crushed spirit and that You will never leave her nor forsake her. We ask all this in the name of Jesus Christ, our hope and our salvation, amen.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do. 
