smd1111
Disciple of Prayer
I am completely empty…there is not one ounce of strength, hope, self-esteem, or faith… I am totally crushed… I have lost all faith in myself — because everything I thought, hoped, believed was possible; was all false… have I been completely delusional or living in a fantasy world my entire life? I don’t believe in myself… there is nothing left of me… why????? Why was I so wrong? Why did I feel so sure about something for so long? How could I have been so wrong? Was he lying to me all along? Did he ever care? I am so hurt that he didn’t have one word for me… he told me himself, just recently, that I was always so thoughtful — but yet I pour my heart out & he has nothing to say? Does he have any idea how much that hurts? Does he even care??? Why God, was he put in my path? Was this all supposed to happen? Is it karma? Because I’m a bad person? Why can’t I just at least get these answers?? Please… I don’t know what to do… do you see me????? Do you see my pain??? Does it even matter???? Nothing but rejection… I am alone… my heart has died…
