I am carrying a deep hurt 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭

Vladi777

Beloved of All
I am carrying a deep hurt and facing a problem in my relationship with my brother, ###. My desire is to forgive and for the relationship to be restored. He is perhaps the most difficult person, and this the most challenging relationship, I have ever known. Yet, this broken relationship and the hurt in my heart stand as a barrier to drawing closer to God. Let us pray that God helps me to truly forgive completely—freeing me from hurt and negative thoughts—so that my heart may be pure and at peace, in the name of Jesus Christ! Let us pray that God grants me wisdom and intervenes to resolve this issue, aligning the relationship with His will, in the name of Jesus Christ! Let us pray that God heals my heart and soul and protects me from further hurt, in the name of Jesus Christ! Let us pray that God accomplishes His work in my brother ###, so that he may become more spiritually mature, more obedient to God, more loving, and more compassionate, in the name of Jesus Christ! Thank you... God bless you!
 

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Carried by Four
Some souls need the combined faith and effort of others to be brought to Christ for healing and forgiveness.
Multitudinous Thoughts and Sacred Comforts
True peace comes from God’s comforts, which calm and delight the soul even amid overwhelming thoughts.
The Ministry of Gratitude
True gratitude for Christ’s healing moves us to serve Him immediately in everyday acts of love.
We join you in bringing this deep hurt before the Lord, and we thank you for sharing so honestly about the pain you carry in your relationship with your brother and the desire in your heart to forgive and see restoration. We understand how a broken family relationship, especially with one who is most difficult and challenging to love, can weigh heavily on the soul and feel like a barrier to drawing closer to God, and we want to stand with you in seeking His healing and wisdom together in Jesus name.

The Word calls us to a forgiveness that mirrors what we have received, And be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you Eph 4:32, and bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, if any man has a complaint against any, even as Christ forgave you, so you also do Col 3:13. We are reminded how serious this is, For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses Matt 6:14-15. Forgiveness is not denying the hurt or saying the wound did not matter, it is releasing the right to hold the offense and entrusting justice and healing to God, and it is often a daily choice empowered by the Holy Spirit rather than a single feeling. The Lord warns us to be watchful, looking carefully lest there be any man who falls short of the grace of God, lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and many be defiled by it Heb 12:15, and we encourage you to let God uproot that bitterness so your heart may be pure and at peace.

We also hear your longing for wisdom and for God to intervene according to His will. Scripture gives us hope that If it is possible, as much as it is up to you, be at peace with all men Rom 12:18, which acknowledges that restoration requires two hearts willing before God, and only He can soften and change hearts. We can trust Him to guide you in boundaries that are loving and truthful while you continue to pursue peace. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him Jas 1:5, and Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight Prov 3:5-6.

We rejoice that you have asked all of this in the name of Jesus Christ, for it is only through Him that we have access to the Father and healing for our souls, and there is no other name by which we are saved and can draw near with confidence.

We pray together now, Father in heaven, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ and lift up our dear brother or sister who is carrying this deep hurt. Lord, You see the pain, the negative thoughts, and the barrier this has become to drawing closer to You. We ask that You heal the broken heart, for You heals the broken in heart, and binds up their wounds Ps 147:3, and that You are near to those who have a broken heart, and save those who have a crushed spirit Ps 34:18. Pour out Your grace to enable complete forgiveness, not by human strength but by Your Spirit, freeing this heart from hurt and resentment and filling it with Your peace which surpasses all understanding to guard heart and thoughts in Christ Jesus Phil 4:7. Grant wisdom for every conversation and decision, show what to speak, when to be silent, and how to walk in love and truth, and intervene in this relationship according to Your perfect will. Protect this heart and soul from further hurt, be a refuge and shield, and accomplish Your good work in our dear brother as well, that You would lead him to greater spiritual maturity, obedience to You, and a more loving and compassionate heart. Make both hearts tender toward You and toward each other, and let reconciliation come in Your timing and in Your way, for Your glory. We thank You that You are faithful to complete what You have begun, and we trust You to bring purity, peace, and restoration as we seek You together. In the name of Jesus Christ we pray, Amen.

We encourage you to continue to bring this hurt daily to the Lord in prayer, to meditate on His forgiveness toward you, and to seek fellowship and counsel in the Word so that your heart remains soft. Even as you wait for your brother's heart to change, you can walk in freedom and peace before God, knowing that your obedience in forgiving honors Him and opens the way for deeper communion with Him.
 
We hear how heavy this has been to carry, and how much you want to be free of it. Loving a brother who feels like the most difficult relationship you have known is exhausting, and it makes sense that the hurt would feel like a barrier between you and God. Thank you for bringing it so honestly before Him.

What you described about wanting to forgive completely is important. In our experience forgiveness often happens in two layers. One is a decision, a quiet choice before God to release the right to get even or to shut the other person out, and to wish him good as a person made in God's image. The other is the slower healing of the emotions, where resentment and fear are gradually replaced by more compassion and peace. The decision can be made in a moment, but the feelings usually take time to catch up, especially if you find yourself going over what happened again and again. That does not mean you have failed to forgive.

A small step that helps many is to make that decision privately in prayer and write it down for yourself, not to send to your brother, just to anchor it. Then when the hurtful thoughts return, you can gently remind yourself, I have already decided to release this to God, and turn your attention back to Him rather than rehearsing the story.

We are praying for you and for your brother.

Father, we lift our brother to You in Jesus name. Heal his heart and soul where it still hurts, quiet the negative thoughts, and give him Your peace. Grant him wisdom for each next conversation and protect him from further harm. Do Your own tender work in his brother as well, drawing him toward maturity, obedience, and a more loving heart. Align what can be restored with Your will, and help our brother rest in Your care. Amen.
 
There is forgiveness with God, and your desire to forgive is itself an evidence that His grace is at work within you. You have laid open a deep hurt concerning your brother, and you have rightly discerned that an unforgiving spirit becomes a barrier to drawing near to the Lord. Where the offense has wounded you, there also is the fountain of mercy to which you must come, for with Him is forgiveness that it may be feared.

Consider first what this forgiveness is. It is a divine forgiveness, I, even I, am He that blotteth out thy transgressions. It is a surprising forgiveness, so full and free that it seems too great to be true, yet it is true. It is a complete forgiveness. Suppose you call upon your creditor and say, I have nothing to pay with, He does not exact a part and leave the rest upon the book, but He blots out the whole handwriting. And it is an eternal forgiveness, for the gifts and calling of God are without repentance. As Martin Luther was bid to do in his dark distress, believe in the forgiveness of sins for yourself. There is forgiveness with God through Jesus Christ His Son, the Just for the unjust, that He might bring us to God. Believe it and go your way in peace.

What follows after forgiveness is healing and peace. The Scripture says, You will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You. This is not a peace that depends upon the absence of trial, but a present possession even with sorrows surging round, for the blood of Jesus whispers peace within. And the leaves of the tree are for the healing of the nations. The least thing about Christ has healing virtue to change the life blood and make the nature new. When the heart is stayed upon Him, He gives such joy in believing that the soul can say, I am forgiven, and therein finds rest to do the will of Jesus.

Let us pray together for those burdens you have named in the name of Jesus Christ.

We pray that the Lord will help you to truly and completely forgive, as God for Christ's sake has forgiven you. May He free you from hurt and from those negative thoughts which would take you by the throat, and give you grace to show the most splendid vengeance which is to do good to them that do evil and to speak well of them that have spoken ill. So shall your heart be made pure and kept in that perfect peace which passes all understanding.

We pray that God will grant you wisdom and that He will intervene to resolve this difficult matter, aligning this relationship with His holy will. May He teach you when to speak and when to be silent, and keep you from publishing a brother's fault, but guide you in love and truth.

We pray that the great Physician will heal your heart and soul. He knows the wound that has been inflicted and He has healing leaves for every such sore. May He bind up what is broken and protect you from further hurt, keeping you under the shadow of His wing as you trust Him.

We pray also for your brother, that God would accomplish His own work in him, and make him more spiritually mature, more obedient to the Lord, more loving and more compassionate. The Lord is able to soften the most difficult heart and to make it tender toward Christ and toward His own.

May the Lord hear and answer according to His abundant mercy, and may you find that to trust Him is to have peace, perfect peace, till He calls you to Heaven's perfect peace.
 

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