Silas
Beloved of All
Your honesty about this deep hurt is heard, and your desire to forgive and see this relationship restored is itself pleasing to God. That you recognize this pain as a barrier to drawing closer to Him shows a tender heart that wants to be pure and at peace before Him, and that is exactly where healing begins.
God wants you to live in peace. He has offered a kind of peace treaty to those who were at war with Him, and that peace comes through Jesus Christ. He is our peace. When sins are forgiven and peace is made with God through His grace, that peace then settles inside the heart. The turmoil and war within begins to quiet. It is only after that inner peace is received that we are able to have real peace with a brother. Scripture teaches that the order is always grace and then peace. You will not find lasting peace in your heart by trying harder on your own, but by receiving more deeply the grace God has already shown you in Christ. As that grace takes root, it brings a peace that guards your mind and soul.
The wisdom you are asking for is also part of that same gift. The wisdom that comes from above is first pure and then peaceable. It leads to peace and it brings you to peace. It does not stir up strife or keep score. Those who sow in peace will reap a harvest of righteousness, and Jesus said those who make peace are called children of God. So as you pray for wisdom to handle this difficult relationship, ask God to fill you with that heavenly wisdom that is gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy, and that seeks to sow peace even when the other person is difficult.
The story of Joseph gives great hope here. He was rejected, despised and sold by his own brothers, and he carried that wound for years. When he finally saw his brothers again, and especially when he saw Benjamin his full brother whom he had not seen since he was a small child, his heart was moved with compassion. Yet he also tested and guided the situation with wisdom before he revealed himself. And when he did reveal himself he said, do not be grieved or angry with yourselves, for God sent me before you to preserve life. He was able to forgive completely because he saw God's sovereign hand even in his brothers' wrongdoing. In the same way, your forgiveness can be complete and freeing, not because the hurt was small, but because you entrust both the hurt and the future to God who can use even painful things for good.
That forgiveness is also linked to honesty before God. When Cain harmed Abel his brother, God asked, where is your brother, not because He did not know, but to give Cain a chance to confess. When we acknowledge our own hurt, our anger, and our need for grace, we give God the opening to forgive and to heal us. Bring every negative thought and every ache plainly to Him. Confession and surrender open the door for Him to do His healing work in you.
God does heal, and sometimes that healing is a process. Just as some healings in Scripture were gradual, the healing of a wounded heart and soul often takes time. God is able to heal the deep places of memory and emotion, to cleanse the heart, and to protect you from being hardened by further hurt. He promises peace to those who are near and to those who feel far off, saying I will heal him. For those who turn to Jesus and receive His forgiveness, the war is over and a deep, beautiful peace can guard the heart even while difficult relationships are still being worked on.
So let us pray together. Father, in the name of Jesus Christ we ask that You help this dear one to truly forgive from the heart, releasing this brother and the pain he has caused into Your hands. Wash away hurt and bitter thoughts and give a pure heart and a mind at peace. Grant wisdom from above that is peaceable and discerning, and intervene in this relationship according to Your will. Heal heart and soul, and set a guard of Your peace around this life to protect from further wounding. And we ask that You accomplish Your work in this brother as well, drawing him closer to Yourself, making him more obedient, more loving and more compassionate, conforming him to the image of Christ. Where restoration is possible, make a way in Your timing. Where trust must be rebuilt slowly, give patience and boundaries that are both loving and wise. May the fruit of righteousness be sown in peace, for Your glory. Amen.
God wants you to live in peace. He has offered a kind of peace treaty to those who were at war with Him, and that peace comes through Jesus Christ. He is our peace. When sins are forgiven and peace is made with God through His grace, that peace then settles inside the heart. The turmoil and war within begins to quiet. It is only after that inner peace is received that we are able to have real peace with a brother. Scripture teaches that the order is always grace and then peace. You will not find lasting peace in your heart by trying harder on your own, but by receiving more deeply the grace God has already shown you in Christ. As that grace takes root, it brings a peace that guards your mind and soul.
The wisdom you are asking for is also part of that same gift. The wisdom that comes from above is first pure and then peaceable. It leads to peace and it brings you to peace. It does not stir up strife or keep score. Those who sow in peace will reap a harvest of righteousness, and Jesus said those who make peace are called children of God. So as you pray for wisdom to handle this difficult relationship, ask God to fill you with that heavenly wisdom that is gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy, and that seeks to sow peace even when the other person is difficult.
The story of Joseph gives great hope here. He was rejected, despised and sold by his own brothers, and he carried that wound for years. When he finally saw his brothers again, and especially when he saw Benjamin his full brother whom he had not seen since he was a small child, his heart was moved with compassion. Yet he also tested and guided the situation with wisdom before he revealed himself. And when he did reveal himself he said, do not be grieved or angry with yourselves, for God sent me before you to preserve life. He was able to forgive completely because he saw God's sovereign hand even in his brothers' wrongdoing. In the same way, your forgiveness can be complete and freeing, not because the hurt was small, but because you entrust both the hurt and the future to God who can use even painful things for good.
That forgiveness is also linked to honesty before God. When Cain harmed Abel his brother, God asked, where is your brother, not because He did not know, but to give Cain a chance to confess. When we acknowledge our own hurt, our anger, and our need for grace, we give God the opening to forgive and to heal us. Bring every negative thought and every ache plainly to Him. Confession and surrender open the door for Him to do His healing work in you.
God does heal, and sometimes that healing is a process. Just as some healings in Scripture were gradual, the healing of a wounded heart and soul often takes time. God is able to heal the deep places of memory and emotion, to cleanse the heart, and to protect you from being hardened by further hurt. He promises peace to those who are near and to those who feel far off, saying I will heal him. For those who turn to Jesus and receive His forgiveness, the war is over and a deep, beautiful peace can guard the heart even while difficult relationships are still being worked on.
So let us pray together. Father, in the name of Jesus Christ we ask that You help this dear one to truly forgive from the heart, releasing this brother and the pain he has caused into Your hands. Wash away hurt and bitter thoughts and give a pure heart and a mind at peace. Grant wisdom from above that is peaceable and discerning, and intervene in this relationship according to Your will. Heal heart and soul, and set a guard of Your peace around this life to protect from further wounding. And we ask that You accomplish Your work in this brother as well, drawing him closer to Yourself, making him more obedient, more loving and more compassionate, conforming him to the image of Christ. Where restoration is possible, make a way in Your timing. Where trust must be rebuilt slowly, give patience and boundaries that are both loving and wise. May the fruit of righteousness be sown in peace, for Your glory. Amen.
