Anonymous
Beloved of All
I am a unlucky person and born to be useless in this world. I got married at 34 and within 3 months I had to apply for Divorce. Now I am divorced with no kids. 9 days after my marriage my brother died in a cruel road accident leading the man to take advantage of my life and my family. He did all sorts of cruel things to harm me and my family for the sake of my money. I had written many letters to you to support to me. I feel all ways for me are closed. I have no place to escape and save my self. I am 39 now. I am in a very respectable position in my company. I moved from my old department to a new department. Some people in my old department who know I am married keep asking me when am I planning to have a kid as they do not that I am divorced. People in my new department and who are all new to the company think I am single and I am incapable of marriage and what so ever. People who are close to me who know I am divorced ask me why don’t I get remarried. The answer for this is • No body comes forward to accept me as his wife. One guy came to me stating he loved me but he says he will do anything for me but will not get married to me. • Even though I get married I cannot bear a child because there is a cyst in my ovary. So having a child is also ruled out. I had to undergo a surgery due to my gastric problem, that time doctors found our that I have a cyst and conceiving is a problem, Thinking that my husband is with me they asked me so many questions and I could not answer and I was feeling ashamed. The cyst can be removed and I can be treated for that the doctors would need my husband. • If I have to escape from my current company where I worked for 12 years, to escape from these words, I need to get a job in another company. I have been trying and trying and I am not getting a new job. • I tried for a job in another city, that is also failure • I tried in another country that is also a failure. • I want to leave my house and go live in a different area so that I can hide myself from my neighbours that is also a failure. • I am not getting death also. I want to hide hide & hide to avoid being questioned and feeling insulted. There is no way to go for me. Everyday one or the other people ask me something or other and I am scared to talk to anyone also. When I see my friends and colleagues come to church or any function with their families and I am always alone, I am hurt so much. I cry the whole night in my bed thinking why should I be punished like this. I don’t go out and socialise with people fearing they will ask about my personal life. In my team I have set of people who are young and are engaged and getting married. Some are married and have small kids. When they all gather and talk about their life I don’t go near them, instead I wear my earphones and avoid them. Some people think that my life is a suspense. My parents are also not worried about me. I pray pray and pray and I am tired now. I see a divorced woman with kids getting another new life. A widow gets a new life. Handicapped people getting married A woman who led a sinful life gets a good husband. Ugly people getting married. But I am in no way less in all these things, they why is that no one wants me. What is my life? Am I a cursed person or unlucky person? Brother tell me what to do. I want to talk to some one and cry out till my heart is free from all these sorrows. I have no one to cry to also. Should I believe that Jesus can still give me a blessed married life at this age? Should I believe that Jesus can give me baby at this age? Should I believe that I can live a normal life like any woman at this age? Brother, I am very depressed in life for I have no one whom I can talk to freely. I don’t want to lead a disgraceful life Please talk to me or reply to me…. Waiting for you.
