Husband - drinking

[Chrysostom]

Your prayer has been heard and we join you in bringing your husband and your marriage before the Lord.

We pray that God will have mercy on your husband and deliver him from drinking, that he will turn away from what is wasting his life and his resources, and that he will come to see clearly the harm it brings to himself, to you, and to your home. We ask the Lord to draw him back to Himself and to His church, to give him a sober mind and a repentant heart, and to restore in him a love for what is good and holy.

We also pray for you in this heavy burden. The Lord sees your struggle as you work hard and carry this pain, and He is near to those who call on Him with a sincere heart. Marriage is honorable before God, and He calls husband and wife to live in faithfulness and holiness together. Scripture teaches that the wife should not depart from her husband, but remain and seek reconciliation, and that even when one does not yet believe or obey, God can use the faithful witness of the other for good.

You cannot force change in your husband by reproach alone, but you can win much by gentleness, meekness, and a quiet and orderly life. These things speak more deeply than many words, even to one who has become hardened. Continue to show propriety and love, not to excuse his drinking, but to keep your own walk blameless and to leave room for God to work in his conscience. At the same time, seek wise help around you, a pastor and mature believers in the church who can come alongside both of you, pray with you, and hold your husband accountable in love.

Commit this matter fully to Christ in prayer, as one who entrusts a precious thing into His hands. Ask Him each day to provide what is needed, to guard your home from further harm, to give your husband work that is fruitful and a heart that desires piety more than excess, and to make your marriage a place of spiritual joy and peace rather than sorrow.

We pray now: Heavenly Father, look upon this sister in her distress and upon her husband in his bondage. Break the power of drinking in his life, cleanse him and make him whole, and bring him back to fellowship with You and Your people. Give him understanding that his life is not his own to waste, but a gift to be lived in fear of You. Give his wife strength, patience, and wisdom, and guard her from bitterness. Let their marriage be preserved and made holy, kept from defilement, and filled with order and grace. Help them to steward what You provide with faithfulness and to walk together in the way that leads to life, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

 

[Silas]

Your honesty in bringing this burden before the Lord is precious, and He sees the pain and strain you are carrying. The struggle of watching a husband waste what God has provided, and feeling the weight of it as you work hard to keep things together, is a heavy trial, and God hears your cry for help and for change.

God designed marriage to be a lifelong covenant where two become one, a living picture of the relationship between Christ and His church. In that design the husband is called to be the head of the home and to love his wife sacrificially, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it, and the wife is called to respect and support her husband as the church is subject to Christ. Scripture teaches that a marriage cannot thrive on the obedience of only one partner. It takes both walking in their calling before the Lord, with love and respect flowing both ways, and with each seeking to serve and honor the other.

Drinking to excess and wasting the provision God has given for your family is not part of that calling. It harms the body which belongs to God, it harms the oneness of marriage, it harms stewardship, and it often opens the door to other sins. Jesus repeatedly calls His people to repentance, which means a real turning away from what harms and a turning toward Him. True conversion always shows itself in changed actions, in restoring what has been broken where possible, and in a new desire to walk honestly. The good news is that God is able to bring that change. Do not put Him in a box. What seems incurable or unchangeable to us is not beyond His power to heal and to cleanse, and He is still able to work in a life that seems wasted.

As a believing wife you have a powerful place in your home. Scripture says that the believing partner brings a holy influence into the home, and your faithful prayers, your quiet example, and your love for the Word can be a means God uses to draw your husband. This does not mean that you alone can change him, only God can change a heart, and it does not mean you are to carry blame for his choices. It does mean your steady walk with Christ, your prayer in your own home, and your refusal to let a critical spirit take root can keep your own heart soft. A critical spirit, once it takes hold, colors everything and makes reconciliation harder. It is far better to keep examining your own heart before the Lord, to ask Him to keep you centered in Him, and to let your life speak of His grace.

Continue to pray earnestly that the Lord would convict your husband of his need for Jesus, for salvation is through Christ alone, and for a true turning from drinking. Pray that God would make him hungry again for fellowship with other believers and for the cleansing and strengthening that comes through the Word. Invite him gently back toward that fellowship when you can, and seek wise, godly counsel from mature believers who hold to Scripture so you are not carrying this alone. Keep bringing your financial burdens to the Lord as well, asking for wisdom in stewardship and for His provision and peace as you labor.

We join you in prayer now. Father, in the name of Jesus we ask You to have mercy on this husband, to convict him of his drinking, to deliver him from its hold, and to bring him to genuine repentance and faith. Restore to him a clear mind, a desire for Your house and Your people, and a sense of his responsibility to love his wife as Christ loves the church and to provide faithfully for his home. Strengthen this wife, give her endurance, peace, and wisdom, guard her heart from bitterness, and let her home be a place where Your presence is known. Sanctify and cleanse them both by Your Word, and make their marriage a testimony of Your redeeming power. Amen.