We hear the deep pain, frustration, and longing in your words, and we come before the Lord with heavy hearts, seeking His mercy, healing, and truth for you. First and foremost, we must address the way you are approaching this situation. The language of "decreeing," "demanding," and "commanding" creation into existence is not aligned with biblical humility or trust in God’s sovereignty. Scripture tells us in James 4:13-15, *"Come now, you who say, 'Today or tomorrow let’s go into this city, and spend a year there, trade, and make a profit,' whereas you don’t know what your life will be like tomorrow. For what is your life? For you are a vapor that appears for a little time, and then vanishes away. For you ought to say, 'If the Lord wills, we will both live, and do this or that.'"*
You are not a god, and you cannot force creation or circumstances to bend to your will. Only the Lord has that power, and He calls us to surrender our desires, fears, and hurts to Him in faith. Psalm 37:5-6 says, *"Commit your way to Yahweh. Trust also in him, and he will do this: he will make your righteousness go forth as the light, and your justice as the noon day sun."* Your words reflect a heart that is weary and wounded, and we must rebuke the lies of the enemy that have taken root in your mind—lies that tell you that you are not enough, that others have stolen from you, or that you must "vomit up" what is not yours to control.
The bitterness and anger in your words are understandable, but they are also dangerous. Ephesians 4:26-27 warns, *"Be angry, and don’t sin. Don’t let the sun go down on your wrath, and don’t give place to the devil."* The enemy would love for you to remain in this place of resentment, where he can continue to distort your view of yourself, others, and God. We must also address the references to "energy" being stolen and the idea that others have control over your life. This is not biblical. While spiritual warfare is real (Ephesians 6:12), we are not victims of some cosmic force that has permanently robbed us of our "normal basics." Jesus came to set you free (John 8:36), and His power is greater than any scheme of the enemy. You are not defined by what has been taken from you; you are defined by Christ, who gave His life to redeem you.
We must also confront the way you are speaking about marriage and relationships. You are not called to "find your happiness" in a spouse or to demand a husband who meets your checklist of preferences. Marriage is a sacred covenant designed by God to reflect Christ’s love for the Church (Ephesians 5:22-33), not a transaction to fulfill your desires. The bitterness you feel toward the man you mentioned—calling him "cold," "evil," and "cruel"—reveals a heart that is still entangled in past hurts. While his actions may have been sinful, your response of hatred and unforgiveness will only poison you further. Jesus commands us in Matthew 6:14-15, *"For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you don’t forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."*
You also mention feeling "not pretty enough" for this man, which is another lie from the enemy. Your worth is not found in your appearance or in the approval of others. 1 Peter 3:3-4 says, *"Let your beauty be not just the outward adorning of braiding the hair, and of wearing jewels of gold, or of putting on fine clothing; but in the hidden person of the heart, in the incorruptible adornment of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God."* You are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14), and your value comes from being a daughter of the King.
Now, let us turn to the Lord in prayer, surrendering these burdens to Him:
*"Heavenly Father, we come before You with hearts broken for this dear sister. Lord, we ask that You would break the chains of bitterness, anger, and unforgiveness that have taken hold of her. We rebuke the lies of the enemy that tell her she is not enough, that others have stolen from her, or that she must control her circumstances to find peace. Father, we declare that You are her healer, her provider, and her defender. We ask that You would soften her heart toward You and toward those who have hurt her. Help her to release her grip on the desire to "decree" her own way and instead trust in Your perfect timing and plan.
Lord, we pray for her longing for a godly husband. We ask that You would prepare her heart to receive the spouse You have for her—not one who meets her checklist of preferences, but one who will love her as Christ loves the Church. Father, we ask that You would remove any idols in her heart that place marriage or a man above You. Help her to find her identity, worth, and joy in You alone. We pray that You would bring godly men into her life who will encourage her in her faith and treat her with the love and respect she deserves.
We also pray for protection over her mind and spirit. Lord, we ask that You would guard her from the enemy’s schemes to keep her in a place of resentment and despair. Fill her with Your peace, which surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7). Remind her daily that Your grace is sufficient for her (2 Corinthians 12:9), and that You are working all things together for her good (Romans 8:28).
Father, we ask that You would reveal Yourself to her in a fresh and powerful way. If she does not yet know You as her Savior, we pray that she would surrender her life to Jesus Christ, the only name by which we can be saved (Acts 4:12). Help her to understand that it is only through Christ that she can find true freedom, healing, and purpose. We pray that she would come to know the depth of Your love for her, a love that is not based on her performance or appearance, but on Your unchanging character.
Lord, we ask that You would restore what has been broken in her life. Heal her wounds, both seen and unseen. Give her the strength to forgive those who have wronged her, and the courage to walk in the freedom You have purchased for her on the cross. We declare that no weapon formed against her will prosper (Isaiah 54:17), and that You are making all things new in her life (Revelation 21:5).
We ask all of this in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. Amen."*
Sister, we want to encourage you with the truth of God’s Word. You are not alone in your struggles, and you do not have to carry these burdens by yourself. Psalm 55:22 says, *"Cast your burden on Yahweh, and he will sustain you. He will never allow the righteous to be moved."* The Lord sees your pain, and He is near to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18). He is not distant or indifferent to your suffering; He is actively working to bring beauty from the ashes of your life (Isaiah 61:3).
We urge you to seek out a biblical, Christ-centered community where you can be supported, encouraged, and held accountable in your faith. Hebrews 10:24-25 says, *"Let us consider how to provoke one another to love and good works, not forsaking our own assembling together, as the custom of some is, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching."* You need fellow believers who can walk alongside you, pray with you, and speak truth into your life.
We also encourage you to spend time in God’s Word daily. The Bible is not just a book; it is the living, active Word of God that has the power to transform your mind and heart (Hebrews 4:12). As you read Scripture, ask the Holy Spirit to reveal truth to you and to help you apply it to your life. Meditate on verses that speak to God’s love for you, His sovereignty, and His promises. Some passages to start with include Psalm 23, Romans 8, and Ephesians 1.
Lastly, we want to gently challenge you to examine your heart for any areas of unforgiveness. Holding onto bitterness will only harm you, not those who have wronged you. Colossians 3:13 says, *"Bear with one another, and forgive each other, if any man has a complaint against any; even as Christ forgave you, so you also do."* Forgiveness is not about excusing the wrong that was done to you; it is about releasing the hold that wrong has on your heart. It is a process, and it may take time, but the Lord will give you the strength to walk in it.
We are praying for you, sister. You are not forgotten, and you are deeply loved by the Father. Trust in Him, and He will direct your steps (Proverbs 3:5-6).