BlessedChristian female
Beloved of All
Dear God
I am very sad I have never been married at age 49, with no kids. It feels like I was left behind. I feel like an out cast to those that understand my desire to marry. My first few boyfriends were emotionally abusive (cheater and one date rape) and my parents, were emotionally distant and abusive, so I think that got in my head and created some kind of barrier to a healthy relationship! I had no healthy boundries to protect myself yet let others in- please create healthy boundries in me now!
My abusive parents never said I love you so I was desperate for love. Desperation caused me terrible choices. Take this desperation Lord!!! ( You love me and you tell me in your word! )
They never encouraged healthy loving relationships and only criticized all boyfriends.
It hurts that my one nice sibling never encouraged or encourages me and I feel like it is an emergency that they do not care about!
Help me!!! This is an emergency! I have no Godly mate to enjoy life with or holidays with or to create a home together. I want a Godly mate to serve you with. I know I am not entitled and you know what is best. It says in your word it is not good for man to be alone so you make mates! Lead me to a good mate. I know not all relationships are healthy. Please bless me with a healthy relationship. For some reason nice guys I know do not simply pursue me by making a romantic gesture like asking me on a simple dinner date or trying to spend time with me and make a compliment, so I know they like me. Why is this? Am I expecting the wrong thing or doing something wrong?
(In the past when any guy complimented me I felt smothered and helpless to defend myself if they turned out bad because I had been treated so poorly in the past.) Help me not feel powerless to defend myself by an interested man.
My old boyfriends would say things like "you just want to get married"- that is so weird doesn't everyone? Isn't that why we date? Don't they want that journey with someone? Was I aiming low and not being picky enough to find a good match?! Was I not nice? Were we just poorly match? Help me Lord! I know the marriage my parents modeled is not what I want!! Give me an idea to shoot for in a marriage!
Help it not to be too late to enjoy marriage to someone and be a good wife!
I still have a weird "feeling" I am not allowed to be married or I am not old enough, I have no authority to do this- something instilled by my parents. Please take this lie away! Take this stronghold and replace it with truth I will be a good wife and a blessing to a man.
I feel I missed out on provider and protector but I know you fill these roles for me instead. Thank you! I feel I missed out on having kids. I did. I know I had chronic illnesses a long time so maybe this was best, but you are healing me now. Help me replace these sad thoughts that "I do not belong and I am a failure. ". I belong to you and my heart is to serve you so that is success in your eyes.
help me get through holidays and birthday with joy even though I am missing a mate. Bring a suitable mate soon and make it easy and natural to love and respect each other, find joy with each other and serve you well.
In Jesus name,
Amen
I am very sad I have never been married at age 49, with no kids. It feels like I was left behind. I feel like an out cast to those that understand my desire to marry. My first few boyfriends were emotionally abusive (cheater and one date rape) and my parents, were emotionally distant and abusive, so I think that got in my head and created some kind of barrier to a healthy relationship! I had no healthy boundries to protect myself yet let others in- please create healthy boundries in me now!
My abusive parents never said I love you so I was desperate for love. Desperation caused me terrible choices. Take this desperation Lord!!! ( You love me and you tell me in your word! )
They never encouraged healthy loving relationships and only criticized all boyfriends.
It hurts that my one nice sibling never encouraged or encourages me and I feel like it is an emergency that they do not care about!
Help me!!! This is an emergency! I have no Godly mate to enjoy life with or holidays with or to create a home together. I want a Godly mate to serve you with. I know I am not entitled and you know what is best. It says in your word it is not good for man to be alone so you make mates! Lead me to a good mate. I know not all relationships are healthy. Please bless me with a healthy relationship. For some reason nice guys I know do not simply pursue me by making a romantic gesture like asking me on a simple dinner date or trying to spend time with me and make a compliment, so I know they like me. Why is this? Am I expecting the wrong thing or doing something wrong?
(In the past when any guy complimented me I felt smothered and helpless to defend myself if they turned out bad because I had been treated so poorly in the past.) Help me not feel powerless to defend myself by an interested man.
My old boyfriends would say things like "you just want to get married"- that is so weird doesn't everyone? Isn't that why we date? Don't they want that journey with someone? Was I aiming low and not being picky enough to find a good match?! Was I not nice? Were we just poorly match? Help me Lord! I know the marriage my parents modeled is not what I want!! Give me an idea to shoot for in a marriage!
Help it not to be too late to enjoy marriage to someone and be a good wife!
I still have a weird "feeling" I am not allowed to be married or I am not old enough, I have no authority to do this- something instilled by my parents. Please take this lie away! Take this stronghold and replace it with truth I will be a good wife and a blessing to a man.
I feel I missed out on provider and protector but I know you fill these roles for me instead. Thank you! I feel I missed out on having kids. I did. I know I had chronic illnesses a long time so maybe this was best, but you are healing me now. Help me replace these sad thoughts that "I do not belong and I am a failure. ". I belong to you and my heart is to serve you so that is success in your eyes.
help me get through holidays and birthday with joy even though I am missing a mate. Bring a suitable mate soon and make it easy and natural to love and respect each other, find joy with each other and serve you well.
In Jesus name,
Amen