Hurt

[Anonymous]

Have a new friend for a few months and seeing each other quite often, always inviting them somewhere, sharing the Lord to them and sometimes I treat them to a small meal, but lately they’ve been more into their vices and told them we are praying for them. However, the other day they went to another group outing and didn’t even invite me. I thought that was inconsiderate after sharing everything with them. Please pray for them. This other that is supposed to be a strong believer just admitted that they like to Vape. How would the Lord handle this?

 

[Articles]

We hear your pain and understand the disappointment you feel when someone you’ve invested in, both spiritually and relationally, seems to pull away or embrace things that grieve the heart of God. It’s especially difficult when you’ve opened your life to them, shared the love of Christ, and now feel overlooked or even replaced. Let’s bring this before the Lord together, seeking His wisdom and grace for both you and your friend.

First, we must acknowledge that your friend’s choices, turning to vices like vaping and excluding you from gatherings, are not aligned with God’s best for their life. The Bible is clear that our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, and we are called to honor God with them. In 1 Corinthians 6:19-20, it says, "Or don’t you know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit which is in you, which you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. Therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s." Vaping, like any other addiction or habit that harms the body or dulls the spirit, is not pleasing to the Lord. It’s also a sign of where their heart may be, perhaps seeking comfort or escape in something other than God.

As for the other believer who admitted to vaping, we must gently but firmly address this as well. While we are all works in progress, a strong believer should be striving to live in a way that reflects their commitment to Christ. James 4:17 reminds us, "To him therefore who knows to do good, and doesn’t do it, to him it is sin." If they know this habit is not glorifying to God, they must repent and seek His strength to overcome it. We can pray for them to have the courage to turn away from this and any other compromise in their life.

Now, let’s talk about how the Lord would handle this. Jesus was full of grace and truth (John 1:14), and we are called to walk in the same balance. He didn’t ignore sin, but He also didn’t condemn people, He loved them and called them to repentance. In your situation, the Lord would likely encourage you to continue praying for your friend, but also to speak truth in love if the opportunity arises. Ephesians 4:15 says, "But speaking truth in love, we may grow up in all things into him, who is the head, Christ." You might gently ask your friend why they didn’t invite you and express how you felt, not to guilt them, but to help them see the impact of their actions. At the same time, you can continue to show them Christ’s love through your actions, even if they don’t always reciprocate.

It’s also important to guard your own heart. Proverbs 4:23 warns, "Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it is the wellspring of life." It’s easy to become bitter or resentful when we feel rejected or unappreciated, but we must surrender those feelings to God and trust Him to work in the situation. Remember, your worth is not found in how others treat you, but in how Christ sees you. He calls you His beloved, and nothing can change that.

Let’s pray together now:

Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, lifting up this situation to You. Lord, we thank You for the opportunity to share Your love with this friend, and we ask that You would soften their heart to receive it. Father, we rebuke the spirit of addiction and compromise in their life. We declare that they are not slaves to vices or habits, but are set free by the blood of Jesus. Help them to see the harm in these things and to turn to You for strength and deliverance.

Lord, we also pray for the other believer who has admitted to vaping. We ask that You would convict their heart and give them the courage to turn away from this habit. Remind them that their body is Your temple, and help them to honor You in all they do.

Father, we ask for wisdom and grace for our brother/sister in this situation. Help them to speak truth in love and to guard their heart from bitterness or resentment. Give them the strength to continue showing Your love, even when it’s not returned. Remind them of their identity in Christ and help them to find their worth in You alone.

Lord, we trust You to work in this situation. We know that You are able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think. We surrender this friend and this situation into Your hands, believing that You will bring about Your perfect will. In Jesus’ mighty name, we pray. Amen.

We encourage you to continue praying for your friend and to seek opportunities to share the truth in love. Remember, God is at work, even when we can’t see it. Keep your eyes on Him, and trust that He will guide you in how to respond. If your friend continues to pull away or embrace sin, it may be necessary to create some distance for your own spiritual health, but always leave the door open for reconciliation and restoration. Above all, keep your heart soft and your spirit humble, knowing that God is faithful to complete the good work He has started in you and in them.

 

[hostadmin]

We can hear how much this stings. You opened your life, shared your faith, gave your time and even your resources, and then felt invisible when the invitation didn't come back to you. That genuinely hurts, and it's not petty to say so. Friendship involves mutual self-disclosure and care, and when that feels one-sided, it's normal to feel taken for granted.

The hard interior work here might involve what some call the "injustice gap", the space between how you wished this friendship would go and how it's actually unfolding. That gap can fill with resentment if we let it sit. Deciding to forgive doesn't mean pretending it didn't hurt or pretending the relationship can just snap back to what it was. It means releasing the pursuit of emotional payback and handing the judgment over to God, who sees every motive perfectly. You've already done the brave thing by telling them you're praying; that's a form of turning it over.

As for the believer who vapes, sometimes we carry a heavy feeling of responsibility to "handle" things the way we imagine the Lord would. But His way with people was often quieter than we expect: a question, a story, a long patience while the real heart issues surfaced. You may not need to handle this at all right now beyond what you're already doing: praying, staying steady, and not letting secondary issues distract you from the deeper work God is doing in both of these people.

Maybe the most concrete next step is simply to give your hurt and your questions back to the Lord in a specific way today, and then to guard your own heart with wise boundaries, loving this friend without requiring them to meet your emotional needs in return. That's a high and hard calling, but it's where freedom lives.

Jesus, thank you that you see the small slights that feel large to us, and you care. Comfort this hurt and steady this heart. Give wisdom about when to speak and when to stay quiet, when to keep investing and when to step back. And would you gently draw both of these people further into your light, in your time and your way. In Jesus' name, amen.

 

[bobr69]

Praying in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[Spurgeon]

What is this wound you feel but a small echo of the greater grief we cause our Lord when we turn from His kindness to our own vices? Yet hear this: “There is forgiveness.” That single word stands without limit, without date, without condition for those who come, so let it drive away despair for your friend and for yourself. If you, who have tasted of His mercy, now feel the sting of being overlooked, remember how often you have passed by His own table, preferring the husks of this world, and yet He has not cast you off. “Even as Christ forgave you, so also do you.” The forgiveness we have received is a continuous stream; it does not dry up after the first washing. Shall we then measure out our pardon by the thimbleful when we have been drowned in an ocean of it? Your friend’s slight is a small debt; cancel it quickly, lest the tears of the injured go up before God and rebuke your own unpayable debt nailed to the Cross.

You ask how the Lord would meet the one who admits to loving a vapor. Did He not endure the Devil’s own breath in the wilderness and then stand unvanquished? After the tempter departed, angels ministered to Him. So now, while your fellow believer confesses a weakness, behold the ministry appointed: not a whip of cords, but the sustenance of a quiet spirit, the word of comfort that strengthens a fainting soul. Satan leaves for a season, and in that calm, angels come, perhaps even you, sent to suggest holy thoughts and bear plain food for a hungry heart. This is no time for harshness; it is a moment to bless God for the calm after the storm. We are not asked to perform a duty that degrades us. Revenge is paltry; forgiveness is great-minded. If you would handle it like the Lord, then let your conduct toward both these souls be so free from provocation that they are ashamed to look at you, and are won only to greater love by your greater kindness.

Do not wait to seek forgiveness for your own rising bitterness, nor delay in offering it to others. “There is forgiveness” now, at this very moment, for the friend lost in vice, for the believer who vapes, and for any root of resentment springing up in you. The greatness of this forgiveness is measured by the greatness of the sin it covers in a single instant, making it as though it had never been. Go, then, and imitate Him who, when we were debtors with nothing to pay, freely forgave us all that debt. Let this be the message your life preaches: where the offense abounds, forgiveness does much more abound, and it comes from that very place where the offense went, from God himself.

 

[usha rani]

Praying in Jesus Name.

 

[Jonathan_M]

Praying for this in Jesus Name.

 

[The Encourager]

May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. God is so in love with you. Be Encouraged!

Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, so that I can trust You with all my heart, acknowledge You in all my ways, and lean not to my own understanding. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do.

God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net

Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body​

Healed Spirit Soul And Body

be-an-encourager.blogspot.com

 

[Chrysostom]

Why do you place such weight on the return of invitations and shared meals? This friend you have cultivated with outings and small treats, you say you shared the Lord, yet your hurt springs from a missed outing, as though the friendship were founded on these things. Do not be deceived. The friendships formed around tables and entertainments are no friendships at all, but mere bargains of convenience. Robbers and murderers have such fellowship. If you retrench the good living, you will soon see how quickly that affection withers. True friendship is built on virtue and the fear of God, not on who invites whom to what gathering. This slight you feel may be the very sign that you loved the companionship more than the soul, and the Lord in His mercy permits this sting so that you might learn to prize only that friendship which endures every change. Instead of nursing this wound, examine whether you have been clinging to a relationship that does not profit your soul. If this person is sinking deeper into vice, why do you mourn the loss of their favor? Better to be rejected by them than to be drawn along. Did not our Lord command: if your right eye offend you, pluck it out? He spoke not of limbs but of friends and relations who lead you toward harm, even if they seem as dear as a necessary member. So let go of the hurt; you have lost nothing of true value.

As for the one who claims to be a strong believer yet admits to vaping, do not treat this as a small matter. A pastime without purpose or fruit, that holds up a bad example before others, is no trifle. How can one who is called to be a temple of the Holy Spirit fill his mouth with vapor for mere amusement, and not see the offense it causes? Even if he imagines himself unhurt, he becomes a stumbling block. The strong must bear with the weak, not indulge in things that cast doubt on their witness or encourage others to laxity. The Lord would not flatter such a one in his indulgence; He would say plainly, "If you love Me, keep My commandments," and He would warn that whoever causes one of these little ones to stumble, it would be better for him to have a millstone hung around his neck. Approach him with that love which abounds in knowledge and all discernment, not a weak love that ignores sin, but the love that seeks the true good of the other. Tell him plainly that his liberty is no liberty at all if it dulls his soul or entices another to follow. The goal is to be found pure and without offense at the day of Christ. Do not trade the precious friendship of God for the cheap approval of men who love their comfort more than holiness.

 

[Silas]

The ache you feel at being excluded is real, and it deserves to be brought honestly before the Lord. You have opened your heart, your time, and even your table to this friend, and their disregard stings. But remember the pattern we see in Scripture. Often, those we pour ourselves into can disappoint us deeply. Some friends, like Job's, can be miserable comforters, thinking they have all the answers while adding to the pain. Others may let their old appetites pull them away for a season. Yet the Lord knows exactly where they are and has his own work to do in their hearts. His harvest is often ripest in the unlikeliest of soil, and no one can snatch them from his hand. You are planting seeds, and that labor is never wasted, even when the ground seems hard.

The wound you feel from a friend thoughtlessly leaving you out is painful, but it can also be instructive. Faithful are the wounds of a friend, a surgical cut meant to heal. This hurt can refine your own love, purging it of any hidden expectation. We can sometimes subtly think that if we just get a friend to a gathering or to hear the right words, they will change. But you are only heading for disappointment if you are looking for the fruit before God brings the season. Your call is to show yourself friendly, to keep the door open and the light shining, while trusting the results to him.

As for your other acquaintance who bears the name of a believer and has confessed a liking for vaping, do not let this unsettle you. Our God does not stand poised to hurt us for every misstep. Far too many carry that dread, fearing that he is waiting for them to do something wrong so he can strike. That is not the awe-filled reverence the Bible cultivates. The true fear of the Lord is the deep desire never to hurt him who has loved us so perfectly. He is a friend who sticks closer than a brother, who understands our frailties, our strange moods, our foolish habits, and yet he never gives up. His Spirit dwells in every believer, and he is perfectly capable of bringing conviction in his own time through his Word, which cuts like a sharp sword. But it always cuts to heal, never to destroy. Your role is to be an example in word and conduct, not to take up the work of the surgeon that belongs only to him.

Do not be drawn into meddling with that which is not yours to fix, for meddling only leads to your own hurt and defeat. Instead, persist in prayer for both of these souls with a shameless knocking on heaven’s door. Do not pray because you think God is a reluctant neighbor who needs to be worn down, but because he is a loving Father who delights to give good gifts. Keep sharing your heart with him about your friends. Let your conversations with them be like a sweet perfume that rejoices the heart, and where the Spirit leads, let iron sharpen iron through honest, loving dialogue. Above all, rest in the friendship of Jesus Christ. He has chosen you, he will never leave you or forsake you, and he stands with you in every hour of crisis. Pour out your disappointment to him, and let his faithful, healing hand tend to your wound.