Lilly
Account Closed
* Fair Warning: Brutal honesty and pain lies ahead. Those of you with perfect lives and families will not comprehend..or those of you wallowing in your own hurt, won't care and attack me instead*
Lord God, as you know, I type this to mend the pain, to get it off my chest. After my family rejected me, I went to the Church...hoping to feel your love, but instead felt hate and rejection. You have not helped me in this situation and haven't made anything better or easier either. My body screams from within me daily. Evil encompasses for whatever reason. I do not understand any of this. At this point, I feel as though you are only a bystander.
What have I done?! I should HAVE NEVER came to church, let alone have tried to sought you or fellowshiped with your people. My life became darker, more confusing, weirder, and I feel insane. I can't take another step, another round...God, I CRY to you! Set Me Free Now! Something is closing in on me, I don't know what and I don't want it to get me! HELP ME!!
You hold the Keys to everything, so unlock the doors in my life that will make me happy. Can you Let me do and have the things that make me happy, for I've suffered enough and I think I am on the brink of losing myself or taking it out on someone innocent. I've been locked up enough! Can you please open my prison door and set me free right now?! Can 2016 not be another jail cell? Can you see to it that I DO AND ACCOMPLISH everything you've laid on my heart and even more so for the years following, following, following, and forever in Eternity With You. Thank you Lord God! You are kind and merciful!
*The best way to describe it is that your mind and entire breathing body Know that it's supposed to be somewhere else but instead is Forcefully Locked in A Confined Cell. Since your mind and body know that the confined cell is not where it belongs but elsewhere, there is this painful cry from within you. It hurts almost every second. Please God, let me have what I need to take this pain away from me permanently! Thank you In Jesus' name.
Psalm 32:
1How joyful is the one
whose transgression is forgiven,
whose sin is covered!a
2How joyful is the man
the LORD does not charge with sinb
and in whose spirit is no deceit!c
3When I kept silent, my bones became brittle
from my groaning all day long.d
4For day and night Your hand was heavy on me;e
my strength was drainedf
as in the summer’s heat.g•Selah
5Then I acknowledged my sin to You
and did not conceal my iniquity.
I said,
“I will confess my transgressions to the LORD,”
and You took away the •guilt of my sin.hSelah
6Therefore let everyone who is faithful pray to You
at a time that You may be found.i, j
When great floodwaters come,
they will not reach him.k
7You are my hiding place;l
You protect me from trouble.m
You surround me with joyful shouts of deliverance.Selah
8I will instruct you and show you the way to go;n
with My eye on you, I will give counsel.o
9Do not be like a horse or mule,
without understanding,
that must be controlled with bit and bridle
or else it will not come near you.p
10Many pains come to the wicked,q
but the one who trusts in the LORD
will have faithful love surrounding him.r
11Be glad in the LORD and rejoice,
you righteous ones;
shout for joy,
all you upright in heart.s
Lord God, as you know, I type this to mend the pain, to get it off my chest. After my family rejected me, I went to the Church...hoping to feel your love, but instead felt hate and rejection. You have not helped me in this situation and haven't made anything better or easier either. My body screams from within me daily. Evil encompasses for whatever reason. I do not understand any of this. At this point, I feel as though you are only a bystander.
What have I done?! I should HAVE NEVER came to church, let alone have tried to sought you or fellowshiped with your people. My life became darker, more confusing, weirder, and I feel insane. I can't take another step, another round...God, I CRY to you! Set Me Free Now! Something is closing in on me, I don't know what and I don't want it to get me! HELP ME!!
You hold the Keys to everything, so unlock the doors in my life that will make me happy. Can you Let me do and have the things that make me happy, for I've suffered enough and I think I am on the brink of losing myself or taking it out on someone innocent. I've been locked up enough! Can you please open my prison door and set me free right now?! Can 2016 not be another jail cell? Can you see to it that I DO AND ACCOMPLISH everything you've laid on my heart and even more so for the years following, following, following, and forever in Eternity With You. Thank you Lord God! You are kind and merciful!
*The best way to describe it is that your mind and entire breathing body Know that it's supposed to be somewhere else but instead is Forcefully Locked in A Confined Cell. Since your mind and body know that the confined cell is not where it belongs but elsewhere, there is this painful cry from within you. It hurts almost every second. Please God, let me have what I need to take this pain away from me permanently! Thank you In Jesus' name.
Psalm 32:
1How joyful is the one
whose transgression is forgiven,
whose sin is covered!a
2How joyful is the man
the LORD does not charge with sinb
and in whose spirit is no deceit!c
3When I kept silent, my bones became brittle
from my groaning all day long.d
4For day and night Your hand was heavy on me;e
my strength was drainedf
as in the summer’s heat.g•Selah
5Then I acknowledged my sin to You
and did not conceal my iniquity.
I said,
“I will confess my transgressions to the LORD,”
and You took away the •guilt of my sin.hSelah
6Therefore let everyone who is faithful pray to You
at a time that You may be found.i, j
When great floodwaters come,
they will not reach him.k
7You are my hiding place;l
You protect me from trouble.m
You surround me with joyful shouts of deliverance.Selah
8I will instruct you and show you the way to go;n
with My eye on you, I will give counsel.o
9Do not be like a horse or mule,
without understanding,
that must be controlled with bit and bridle
or else it will not come near you.p
10Many pains come to the wicked,q
but the one who trusts in the LORD
will have faithful love surrounding him.r
11Be glad in the LORD and rejoice,
you righteous ones;
shout for joy,
all you upright in heart.s
