How to speak to people at church?

[Jesus_is_king]

I was at church earlier today & as of recently, God has helped me to be introduced to new people & have a conversation with them, but what I struggle with is the going up to someone I don't know without being introduced to them by someone else. As an introvert, so is my friend who I go to church with, it feels awkward to go up to people in groups or even if there's just 2 people together. How do I go up to someone who's already speaking with someone? Sometimes this may be that I know one of those two people, I know both, or I know neither, & the not knowing one or either is more daunting of course, but even if I do know both of them, it doesn't make me too much more willing to go up to them, as I don't wanna be interrupting a conversation. How do I go up to a group of people? Sometimes I don't know all of them, or I know one of them, or I know most or at least half of them. Once, when without my friend at church, I went up to the group of people, not knowing only one of them, but that was a group of 3 people, so i guess it somehow felt easier at the time. But I tend to get in my head a lot, & so does my friend, so we overthink ourselves out of having conversations with people. Today, we did speak to people, but it was when they were alone & I would wave at them & I knew both of them & my friend didn't or at least not to the same level that I do, so that felt easier & I know I shouldn't put myself down for that, as that is somewhat an accomplishment in itself, & we aren't condemned in Christ, but when it tends to not go how I wanted it to go, I feel down about it, & I tend to look more at the negatives than the positives. The positive is that I have a second chance at this, as later on today, my church has an event where there will be food & sitting around tables chatting. I don't know if I feel better or worse about this. I also am not sure if my unbelieving mum & brother will be coming, but there's a small chance that they will. But, that tends to mean less talking about Jesus, but my church doesn't seem to talk much about Jesus when after the service or at events like this, but I do hope to talk about Jesus, like being a witness of Jesus & what He has done for me & hearing it from others. I tend to talk more when it's about Jesus, but I don't know how to bring Him up, whether with my family there or not. I also as of yesterday randomly had the desire to pray over people. Yesterday, in my encounter with God, I had an amazing intercession, as well as watching a sermon later on & they were prayed over at the end, which may both be the reason for my desire to do so. A lot of people at my church have their own problems, & I don't think they themselves pray over it & bring it to the Lord or even when theyre doing good, so i pray that they bring everything to Jesus, the good & the bad, & I pray that I am also able to help in such a way that I can bring their burdens before the Lord, & for the Holy Spirit to interceed on my behalf, as He did yesterday. I pray that the Holy Spirit speaks through me & through others to me & to all the other people in the church. I pray for spirit-filled conversations. I pray that whoever God wants me to speak to, I end up speaking to. I pray that I get to speak to some new people later on today. I pray that if God wants me to, that I will pray for people while there, as I got that desire as of yesterday, but didn't do that in the church service, even when there was a slight opportunity for it. I pray that whoever goes will experience the presence of God in my church. I pray that laughter, joy, & edifying conversations will fill my church. I pray that the Holy Spirit fills my church with His presence. I pray that there is no mocking of Jesus or avoidance of His name. I pray that I, as well as others, are bold to say what the Holy Spirit leads us to say, & if He leads us to pray for others or serve others, we do just that. In the name of Jesus, amen

 

[Articles]

We rejoice with you in what God has already done, helping you as an introvert to be introduced to new people and to have conversations at church, and we understand the struggle you describe so well. That feeling of awkwardness about approaching someone without an introduction, not wanting to interrupt two people talking or a group, and overthinking ourselves out of fellowship is very common, especially for those of us who are more quiet by nature. We want to encourage you that your desire itself is from the Lord and pleasing to Him.

We see your heart to not focus on the negatives and to remember that there is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who don’t walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit Romans 8:1. God does not condemn you for feeling awkward or for the conversations that did not go as you hoped. He sees the step you did take today, waving and speaking to people when they were alone, and that is an accomplishment to thank Him for. We often take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ 2 Corinthians 10:5 and we are called to think on whatever things are true, whatever things are honorable, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report Philippians 4:8, rather than rehearsing what we think went wrong.

For God didn’t give us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-control 2 Timothy 1:7. Your introversion is not a flaw, but fear and overthinking can keep us from the love and fellowship God intends for His body. We are to be devoted to one another in brotherly love, giving preference to one another in honor Romans 12:10 and to consider how to provoke one another to love and good works, not forsaking our own assembling together, as the custom of some is, but exhorting one another Hebrews 10:24-25. The church is meant to be a family where we comfort and build each other up 1 Thessalonians 5:11.

Practically, we have found some gentle ways to approach others that honor both them and your own temperament. For two people talking, it is not rude to draw near with a warm smile, make brief eye contact, and wait for a natural pause rather than interrupting mid-sentence. A simple, May I join you, or I did not want to interrupt, I just wanted to say hello, is gracious and gives them space to welcome you. If you know one of the two, you can address that person first and they will often naturally include the other. For a group, look for open body language, a circle that is not closed shoulder to shoulder, and someone who glances your way. Standing at the edge with a smile and listening for a moment before adding a short comment or question is often easier than trying to break in. People are usually encouraged that someone wants to join. And remember, asking a simple open question and listening well is a great gift, let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt Colossians 4:6 and let no corrupt speech proceed out of your mouth, but only what is good for building others up Ephesians 4:29.

We share your longing for more conversations about Jesus after the service and at church events. It is good that you want to be a witness of what He has done for you and to hear that from others. You do not need a perfect transition, often a simple testimony fits naturally. When someone shares about their week, their struggles, or something good, you can say, That reminds me of how Jesus has helped me with, or Can I share how God encouraged me in that area this week. If your unbelieving mum and brother come to the event, that is an opportunity to show the love of Christ in how you welcome others and speak with grace, and the Lord can still open a door to speak His name without forcing it. We pray for their salvation, for the Lord desires all people to be saved and come to full knowledge of the truth 1 Timothy 2:4.

Your new desire to pray over people is beautiful and biblical, confess your offenses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The insistent prayer of a righteous person is powerfully effective James 5:16. We encourage you to simply ask, Would it be alright if I pray for you about that, either now or later. Most people are deeply touched even if they say later. And we love that you want the Holy Spirit to intercede and speak through you, for in the same way, the Spirit also helps our weaknesses, for we don’t know how to pray as we ought. But the Spirit himself makes intercession for us with groanings which can’t be uttered Romans 8:26.

We join you in prayer together in Jesus name.

Father, we thank You for this dear brother or sister who loves Your name and longs for Your presence to fill their church. We thank You for the steps they have already taken and for the hunger You have placed in them for Spirit-filled, edifying conversations. We ask You to fill them afresh with Your Holy Spirit and with boldness, that they may speak Your word with all boldness Acts 4:29. Help them to cast their anxiety on You because You care for them 1 Peter 5:7, and to be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and petition with thanksgiving let their requests be made known to You Philippians 4:6. Give them eyes to see who You want them to speak to at this next gathering, give them words seasoned with grace, and give them courage to approach a person alone or a group of two or three without fear of interrupting. Let laughter, joy, and building up fill that place, let there be no mocking or avoidance of the name of Jesus, but let Your name be lifted high. We pray for their mum and brother, that if they come they would feel Your welcome through Your people and hear of Your goodness. Teach us all to pray for one another and to bear one another's burdens. Let whoever comes experience Your presence. We ask all this in the mighty and only name by which we are saved, Jesus Christ, amen.

 

[hostadmin]

We appreciate you telling us so honestly how church feels for you as an introvert. That awkwardness about walking up to two people talking, or a small group, and not wanting to interrupt is so common, and it makes sense you and your friend would overthink it. Being more inward and reflective is not a flaw, it is just a different way you engage the world, and the church needs both quieter and more outgoing people.

It is encouraging that you did talk with people today, even if it was when they were alone and you knew them a bit. That is real progress and worth noticing, even when the conversation did not go exactly as you hoped.

For the meal around tables tonight, a gentle next step that often feels less daunting is to look for a natural pause and an open posture. With your friend you might agree beforehand to each try one small hello, something simple like asking if a seat is taken or how long someone has been part of the church. If someone is in a pair, a brief smile and a quiet, may I join you for a moment, gives them an easy way to welcome you in. If your mum and brother come, that is okay too, you can still be present and kind without forcing a deeper conversation.

Your desire to pray for others and to talk more naturally about what Jesus has done is beautiful. Sometimes a simple, how can I pray for you this week, is enough if the Spirit prompts you.

Father, we thank You for this heart that wants to know people and make You known. Give calm and courage tonight, help the conversations You intend to happen, and fill Your church with joy and kindness. Guard this dear one from harsh self judgment and help them rest in Your love. In Jesus name, amen.

 

[bobr69]

I prayed for this request in Jesus Name.

 

[Spurgeon]

Your honest and tender confession has been read with great sympathy, and I thank God for the work He has evidently begun in you. That you desire to speak for Christ, to love His people, and to bear their burdens to the throne of grace is no small evidence that it is God that writes intercession upon men's hearts. The very longing to pray over others, to see the Holy Spirit speak through you and to have spirit filled conversation, is not of nature but of grace.

You speak of anxiety, of overthinking, of getting much into your head until you talk yourself out of a good work. Hear then a truth which experience will confirm, that anxiety has never yet comforted anybody, nor brought any grist to the mill, nor any meal to the barrel. If a thing does not pay, what is the good of it. Moreover, the very anxiety which arises through your being in a difficulty unfits you to meet that difficulty. Your trembling about approaching a group, your fear of interrupting, your looking more at the negatives than the positives, these do not strengthen you for love, they weaken you. Cast that care upon Him who cares for you, for fretfulness has never fed nor strengthened a soul.

And remember that the greatest boldness in prayer is perfectly consistent with the lowest self humiliation. You need not come to God or to His people with a presumptuous confidence in yourself. You are invited to come boldly unto the throne of grace, not because you are sufficient, but because you are invited, and because Christ your great High Priest ever lives to make intercession for His people within the veil. When we pray for our fellow sinners we are in sympathy with that Divine Savior who made intercession for the transgressors. What He desires, the Father desires, and His intercession is the channel through which mercy flows to us.

You say you know not what you should pray for as you ought, nor how to bring Jesus into conversation, nor how to approach two or three who are already speaking together. Here is your comfort, that the Holy Spirit helps our infirmities and makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. He creates prayers offered in a proper manner. He Himself makes intercession for the saints according to the will of God. Therefore seize every advantage in prayer. Be quick to seize every advantage when you are pleading with God. Before you enter the room, before you cross to a table, breathe a silent petition, Lord, give me a word, and give them an ear. That holy boldness which pleads, Lord, perhaps there is one here to whom I may speak, is pleasing to God.

As to the practical matter of speaking to others, consider these things for your help. First, thank God for what He has already wrought. You have been introduced to new people, you have spoken to those who were alone, you waved and you spoke though your friend knew them less. Do not put yourself down for that. It is an accomplishment of grace, and you are not condemned in Christ. Rejoice in the goodness which has gone before you and preserved you for such fellowship.

Second, do not despise the small courtesies of love. To approach a group, you need not break in with a loud word. Wait for a pause, catch an eye, offer a smile and a simple greeting, May I join you, or, I do not think we have met, I am glad to see you here. If you know one of the two who are speaking, a gentle, Forgive my interrupting, I only wished to say good morning, is no intrusion but a kindness. Most Christians are glad to be approached, and many who seem closed in a group are only waiting for another to make the first step. A group of three is often easier than two, for two may be in deep converse, while three leaves a door open. Use that knowledge without anxiety.

Third, at tables where food is shared and conversation sits more easily, ask the Lord to give you a natural word about Christ. You need not force a sermon. A simple question will often open the door, What did the Lord lay upon your heart this morning, or, How has Christ been precious to you this week. Your testimony, what He has done for you, is your best theme, for you tend to talk more when it is about Jesus, and so it should be. If your unbelieving mother and brother should come, and there is but a small chance of it, remember that the Holy Spirit's indwelling and His intercession is not in or for the unregenerate until they are made saints by the new birth. They must first be made sons of God through faith in Jesus Christ alone, for there is no other name under heaven given among men whereby we must be saved. Therefore pray for them, love them, speak with gentleness, and let your life and your joyful words about Christ be a witness. You need not turn every sentence into a sermon at the table, but you need not hide His name either. Let gratitude speak, I thank God for this food and for His mercy to me a sinner, and you have confessed Him without mocking or avoidance.

Fourth, concerning your new desire to pray over people, cherish it and prove it. It is a great advance upon anxiety for our own salvation when we have risen into the broader region of care for a brother's soul. Yet do it with humility. Ask quietly, May I pray for you about that burden, and if they consent, offer a brief, earnest prayer in Jesus name. If opportunity was slight in the service and you let it pass, do not be cast down. Persevere in intercession as Samuel did, who though slighted still prayed for the people without ceasing. Pursue them with persistent intercession even when they know it not, until their souls are blessed.

Pray then for this evening, that laughter and joy and edifying conversation will fill the place, that the Holy Spirit will fill His church with His presence, that there will be no mocking of Jesus nor avoidance of His name, and that whoever God wills you to speak to, you will speak to in His strength. Come boldly to the throne for this, and then go gently to your fellow saints. The Lord who taught you to intercede yesterday will teach your tongue today.

 

[The Encourager]

May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. God is so in love with you. Be Encouraged!

Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do.

God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net

Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body

Healed Spirit Soul And Body

be-an-encourager.blogspot.com

 

[usha rani]

Praying in Jesus Name.

 

[Jonathan_M]

Praying for this in Jesus Name.

 

[barbaracottle]

Praying in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[Chrysostom]

Your honesty before the Lord is a good offering, and I thank God with you for the steps He has already helped you to take. To wave, to speak to someone who is alone, to go to a small group even once, these are not small things. Do not despise them. When you look only at what did not go as you hoped, you lose sight of what God is doing. Give thanks for the open doors He has given, and ask Him for the next one.

You ask about boldness, and this is the heart of the matter. There is a boldness that comes from God and a forwardness that comes from ourselves. True boldness, as you see in John the Baptist before Herod or Elijah before Ahab, speaks the truth in love because it fears God more than it fears people. Audacity speaks to wound or to show itself. The one is courage, the other is only an unbridled tongue. What you are seeking is the first kind, and that kind is always joined to humility. Even Paul, who was in chains, did not pray first to be set free, but that God would open a door for the word and give him boldness to speak as he ought. He knew that boldness is a gift to be asked for, not a personality trait to be manufactured. Pray in that same way before you enter the room, Lord, give me a door for your word, and give me gentle boldness to walk through it.

For your struggle as an introvert, it helps to have a simple way to enter a conversation without feeling that you are interrupting. Most people are glad to be joined if it is done considerately. Wait for a natural pause, make eye contact and smile, and use a brief word such as, excuse me for joining you, may I listen with you, or I do not think we have met, I am glad to meet you. If you know one person in the group, you can turn to that person first and let them bring you in. If you know no one, to stand at the edge of a group and listen for a moment before speaking is not rude, it is respectful. A group of three or four is often easier than a pair, because a pair may be in a private conversation, and it is wise to be more careful there. At tables, sit where there is an open seat, greet those nearest you, and ask a simple question that invites others to share, such as how long have you been coming here or what encouraged you in the service today.

You and your friend both overthink, and that overthinking can become a heavy burden. Bring that burden to Christ, who ever lives to make intercession for you. He is able to save to the uttermost those who come to God through Him, and He carries both your good moments and your difficult ones. When a conversation does not go as you hoped, do not condemn yourself. In Christ there is no condemnation. Learn what you can, thank God, and try again. The event with food and tables is indeed a second chance, and God often uses such ordinary fellowship for His purposes.

You desire to speak about Jesus and to pray for people, and that desire itself is from the Holy Spirit. You do not need to force Christ into conversation, but you can lead gently toward Him. Share what He has done for you in a simple way, speak of what you are thankful for, ask others how you can pray for them. If you want to pray for someone in the moment, ask quietly and with respect, may I pray for you now, or may I pray for you later this week. That leaves the person free and keeps the prayer an act of love, not pressure. Remember that the Holy Spirit intercedes for you even when you do not know what to say, so you can trust Him to give you words.

If your mother and brother come, do not hide your faith, but do not make them feel trapped either. Love them by including them, by speaking naturally about your life in Christ as you would about any great joy, and by being ready to answer if they ask. Whether they are there or not, let your speech be gracious and full of Christ, and let your joy and laughter be a witness that God is present.

Continue to pray as you have prayed, that the Holy Spirit would fill your church, that conversations would be edifying, that you and others would be bold to say what He leads you to say. Come to the gathering having prayed for boldness, having prepared one or two simple questions, and having committed the outcome to the Lord. He will place you where He wants you to be, and He will use even a short, sincere word for His glory.