"HOW DID WE GET
TO THIS POINT?"
We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all. Isaiah 53:6
Even though the ministry office is only half a mile away, each time one of our children married and moved away from home, their former bedroom was drafted into ministry service. As a result, Charlyne and I often work at home in two offices that are in opposite ends of our house.
One evening, after dinner, we each had work and agreed to meet back in the family room at 9:00 p.m. We had spent our evening reading and hearing about prodigal spouses.
Do you know the primary question that many of these prodigals are asking themselves? “How did we get to this point?†No man or woman suddenly wakes up and states, “Good morning. This might be a great day to dump my family, along with my faith.†No, Satan is far more subtle than that. The evil one planted a seed of temptation, watered it with opportunity, and fertilized it with selfishness. That thing continued to grow until it took over a family, and has someone asking, “How did we get to this point?â€
After our “quitting time†that evening, the television came on. A news report was being given on a fourteen-year old from foster care who had been shot and killed late at night while driving a stolen car. The report was followed by an ad for a new television program that depicted virginity as a joke. The ad was nothing short of vulgar. The second ad that followed was for an engine oil, but a locker room phrase had been carefully woven into it. That was more than I could take, so I paused the television and turned to Charlyne and asked, “How did we get to this point?â€
What has happened to society, much less to the church, that we joke about what is sacred, and gloss over family tragedy? How did we get to this point?
I awoke several times that night, thinking about that question. How did society get to the point that we can't even decide what is right and what is wrong? How did we get to the point that men of God are suggesting divorce to hurting couples? How did we get to the point that serial marriages are acceptable, being married to several people, but only one at a time? How did we get to the point that the child abuse called divorce is being inflicted on children by the courts?
Giving thought to the question, I discovered the answer to how we got to this point. It was because of me. As a former prodigal husband, I need to accept responsibility for things being in the shape they are in today.
When I walked out on my family, I damaged far more than just our family. Foremost, I hurt myself. One link in a local church was taken out by our divorce. That weakened church also weakens society. Sadly, things are like they are today because of me and my decisions. Television networks can make a mockery of virginity, marriage, Christmas, Christians and so much more because of what I, as an individual, allowed, by example, to be set into place.
When a prodigal spouse asks their mate, “How did we get to this point?†they already know the answer. They are really asking, “How do we get back to where we should be?â€
Once individuals become what we should be, with Jesus Christ central, our families can become what they should be. When our families are all they should be, can't you see how our churches will be strengthened? Strong churches have always been the basis of a strong society.
But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves to God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life. For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 6:22-23
“How do we get back to where we should be?†It matters not if it is an individual, a family, a church or a society posing the question, the answer remains the same; by turning back to the Lord God, our Creator. If we continue on the slide of self-destruction, family destruction and church destruction, we will witness society's destruction. Someone needs to put on the brakes, and that someone is me and you.
What is the starting point of restoration of families, of churches, and of society? By each of us turning to our Lord God, and allowing Him to make us personally to be all He wants us to be. Once we learn how to listen and to follow Him, in every way, the dominos we have knocked down will start to stand up, in succession, once again.
May I ask you a hard question? Where are you today? Are you sold out to Jesus Christ, ready to serve Him and to follow Him, at any cost, or are you just along for the ride? Too often our “This is too hard so I quit†mail comes from people who are mis-using the term “stander,†and possibly even the name “Christian.†A real stander is never a quitter, because they realize the eternal destiny (Heaven or Hell) of a prodigal spouse could be at stake.
May you make this a time to get serious about standing so much that your prodigal will discover the answer to their “How do we get back to where we should be?†question by looking at you.
On the evening of July 7, 1987, as I sat on the edge of our bed, having just remarried Charlyne a few hours before, I asked myself, “How did we get to this point?†My answer over two decades ago was about the same as my answer today. We got there because I had a praying wife, serious about standing and willing to follow Jesus at any cost, until He healed our marriage.
There is a lot at stake. May you and I follow Jesus as He rebuilds people, families, churches and society according to His master plan. As Paul said:
“Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.†1 Corinthians 11:1
Because He lives,
Bob Steinkamp
Rejoice Marriage Ministries, Inc.
TO THIS POINT?"
We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all. Isaiah 53:6
Even though the ministry office is only half a mile away, each time one of our children married and moved away from home, their former bedroom was drafted into ministry service. As a result, Charlyne and I often work at home in two offices that are in opposite ends of our house.
One evening, after dinner, we each had work and agreed to meet back in the family room at 9:00 p.m. We had spent our evening reading and hearing about prodigal spouses.
Do you know the primary question that many of these prodigals are asking themselves? “How did we get to this point?†No man or woman suddenly wakes up and states, “Good morning. This might be a great day to dump my family, along with my faith.†No, Satan is far more subtle than that. The evil one planted a seed of temptation, watered it with opportunity, and fertilized it with selfishness. That thing continued to grow until it took over a family, and has someone asking, “How did we get to this point?â€
After our “quitting time†that evening, the television came on. A news report was being given on a fourteen-year old from foster care who had been shot and killed late at night while driving a stolen car. The report was followed by an ad for a new television program that depicted virginity as a joke. The ad was nothing short of vulgar. The second ad that followed was for an engine oil, but a locker room phrase had been carefully woven into it. That was more than I could take, so I paused the television and turned to Charlyne and asked, “How did we get to this point?â€
What has happened to society, much less to the church, that we joke about what is sacred, and gloss over family tragedy? How did we get to this point?
I awoke several times that night, thinking about that question. How did society get to the point that we can't even decide what is right and what is wrong? How did we get to the point that men of God are suggesting divorce to hurting couples? How did we get to the point that serial marriages are acceptable, being married to several people, but only one at a time? How did we get to the point that the child abuse called divorce is being inflicted on children by the courts?
Giving thought to the question, I discovered the answer to how we got to this point. It was because of me. As a former prodigal husband, I need to accept responsibility for things being in the shape they are in today.
When I walked out on my family, I damaged far more than just our family. Foremost, I hurt myself. One link in a local church was taken out by our divorce. That weakened church also weakens society. Sadly, things are like they are today because of me and my decisions. Television networks can make a mockery of virginity, marriage, Christmas, Christians and so much more because of what I, as an individual, allowed, by example, to be set into place.
When a prodigal spouse asks their mate, “How did we get to this point?†they already know the answer. They are really asking, “How do we get back to where we should be?â€
Once individuals become what we should be, with Jesus Christ central, our families can become what they should be. When our families are all they should be, can't you see how our churches will be strengthened? Strong churches have always been the basis of a strong society.
But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves to God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life. For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 6:22-23
“How do we get back to where we should be?†It matters not if it is an individual, a family, a church or a society posing the question, the answer remains the same; by turning back to the Lord God, our Creator. If we continue on the slide of self-destruction, family destruction and church destruction, we will witness society's destruction. Someone needs to put on the brakes, and that someone is me and you.
What is the starting point of restoration of families, of churches, and of society? By each of us turning to our Lord God, and allowing Him to make us personally to be all He wants us to be. Once we learn how to listen and to follow Him, in every way, the dominos we have knocked down will start to stand up, in succession, once again.
May I ask you a hard question? Where are you today? Are you sold out to Jesus Christ, ready to serve Him and to follow Him, at any cost, or are you just along for the ride? Too often our “This is too hard so I quit†mail comes from people who are mis-using the term “stander,†and possibly even the name “Christian.†A real stander is never a quitter, because they realize the eternal destiny (Heaven or Hell) of a prodigal spouse could be at stake.
May you make this a time to get serious about standing so much that your prodigal will discover the answer to their “How do we get back to where we should be?†question by looking at you.
On the evening of July 7, 1987, as I sat on the edge of our bed, having just remarried Charlyne a few hours before, I asked myself, “How did we get to this point?†My answer over two decades ago was about the same as my answer today. We got there because I had a praying wife, serious about standing and willing to follow Jesus at any cost, until He healed our marriage.
There is a lot at stake. May you and I follow Jesus as He rebuilds people, families, churches and society according to His master plan. As Paul said:
“Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.†1 Corinthians 11:1
Because He lives,
Bob Steinkamp
Rejoice Marriage Ministries, Inc.
