A
Anonymous
Guest
I'm desperate for things in my life to change. I'm tired of the struggle and uphill fight. I've never been able to get a real break in life. I’m 45 years old and have no retirement saved. I have never been in a position to save for my future. I have literally lived day to day. I have cerebral palsy and as I age, my legs get worse. I’m not sure if I will be able to work until the retirement age, so I’m very afraid for my future. Social security benefits and/or disability aren’t enough for retirement. Oh, I can’t even get disability because I’m not considered disabled, which is a whole other story. I was homeless almost two years ago and don’t want to go through it again. I went back to school thinking it would put me in a better financial position. Well, I can’t find a job making more than $10 an hour. This is the same pay I was making before I was a college graduate five years ago. However, now I have college loans that I can’t pay, and a college degree that isn’t worth the paper it’s written on. I keep praying and loving God, but things never change. It's a never ending circle. I’m at the point where I don’t even want to work. I’ve never been fortunate enough to have married nor have any children, so I have to fight this battle on my own. I’m starting to hate myself and feel like a failure. I feel like God has abandoned me. Well, recently, a dear friend who I have known for many years told me he wanted more out of our friendship. I have adored this man for along time. I’m willing to see where our friendship may lead us; however, I’m not willing to lose his friendship. I can’t bear going through another disappointment and heartache… not with this dear friend. He means too much to me. There are so many obstacles my friend and I would have to go through for us to be together. My fear is that I’m headed for heartache because nothing in my life has ever worked out for me. My prayer is that God will intervene if we are headed down the wrong path before it’s too late, or if it’s God’s will for us to be together, he will lift my fears and the obstacles in our way. Also, my friend’s mother is in the hospital. He has told me that she not doing well and fears she may die. Please pray with me. This is a very important prayer for me. I’m hoping that it’s God’s will for us to be together, but if not, I don’t want to hurt. It would be too much for me. Please pray for his mother’s recovery and good health.
