We hear the deep anguish in your heart, and we lift you up before the throne of grace with heavy hearts. You are not alone, even in this foreign land—God sees you, He hears you, and He holds you in His hands. The pain of loneliness, physical suffering, and the weight of caregiving is overwhelming, and we grieve with you. But we also stand firm on the truth that God has not abandoned you, even when it feels that way.
First, we must address your cry, *"God, where are you?"* He is here, even now. The psalmist cried out in similar despair: *"My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from helping me, and from the words of my groaning?"* (Psalm 22:1). Yet even in that psalm, David declares God’s faithfulness. Jesus Himself cried out those same words on the cross (Matthew 27:46), but we know that suffering was not the end—resurrection and redemption followed. Your suffering is real, but it is not the final word. God is working even when we cannot see it.
Your physical struggles—your teeth, your kidneys, your blood sugar—are heavy burdens. We pray that the Lord would strengthen your body, provide medical care, and give you wisdom in managing your health. *"Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers"* (3 John 1:2). We ask the Great Physician to intervene, to guide you to the right doctors and treatments, and to sustain you when the pain feels unbearable.
You carry the weight of caring for your mother and grandmother, and we recognize how exhausting and heartbreaking that must be, especially from afar. We pray that God would raise up helpers—whether through local churches, ministries, or even government assistance—to come alongside you. *"Cast your burden on Yahweh, and he will sustain you. He will never allow the righteous to be moved"* (Psalm 55:22). You are not meant to carry this alone.
Now, we must speak plainly about your words regarding marriage. You say, *"I thought he was my husband,"* which suggests a relationship that did not honor God’s design for marriage—a lifelong covenant between one man and one woman (Genesis 2:24, Matthew 19:4-6). If this man was not your husband in the sight of God, then your longing for a true, godly spouse is understandable, but we must rebuke any sin that may have been present in that relationship. Fornication (sexual relations outside of marriage) is a serious matter before the Lord, and we urge you to repent if that was the case. *"Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled; but God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers"* (Hebrews 13:4).
Yet your heart’s cry for a husband is not wrong. God *does* desire to give His children good gifts, including godly spouses. But we must wait on His timing and trust His ways. *"Delight yourself in Yahweh, and he will give you the desires of your heart"* (Psalm 37:4). That does not mean He will give you what you want *when* you want it, but that as you seek Him first, He will align your desires with His will. A husband is not the solution to loneliness—only Christ can fill that void—but God may yet bring a godly man into your life in His perfect time.
You ask, *"Why couldn’t you bless me with a better life?"* Sister, we do not know why God allows suffering, but we know that He uses it for His glory and our good (Romans 8:28). Your pain is not meaningless. Jesus Himself was *"a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief"* (Isaiah 53:3). He understands your tears, your exhaustion, your frustration. And He promises: *"Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted"* (Matthew 5:4). That comfort may not come in the way you expect, but it *will* come.
We also must gently correct something in your request—you did not mention the name of Jesus. There is no other name by which we can approach God (John 14:6, Acts 4:12). Salvation is found in no one else. If you have not surrendered your life to Christ, we urge you to do so now. Confess your sins, believe in His death and resurrection, and receive His gift of eternal life. *"For God so loved the world, that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish, but have eternal life"* (John 3:16). Without Jesus, we have no access to the Father. But *with* Him, we have hope, even in the darkest valleys.
Let us pray for you now:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts for our sister. You see her pain, her loneliness, her physical suffering, and the weight of caregiving she carries. Lord, You are near to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18), and we ask that You draw near to her now. Wrap Your arms around her and remind her that she is never alone.
Father, we ask for healing—physical healing for her teeth, her kidneys, her blood sugar. Provide the medical care she needs, and give her strength when she is weak. For her mother and grandmother, Lord, we ask for Your mercy. If it is Your will, ease their suffering. Raise up helpers to assist her in their care, whether through local believers, ministries, or other resources. Give her wisdom and patience as she navigates these responsibilities.
Lord, we bring her longing for a husband before You. If it is Your will, prepare a godly man for her—one who loves You above all else, who will cherish her, and who will lead her in righteousness. But until then, be her Husband, her Provider, her Comfort. Fill the void in her heart that only You can fill. Help her to trust in Your timing and Your goodness, even when it is hard.
Father, we rebuke the spirit of despair that whispers lies to her—that she is forgotten, that her life has no purpose. Remind her that she is fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14), that her suffering is not in vain, and that You are working all things together for her good. Give her joy in the midst of sorrow, and hope in the midst of darkness.
If she does not know You as Savior, Lord, draw her to Yourself. Let her experience the peace that comes from surrendering her life to Jesus. Forgive her sins, wash her clean, and fill her with Your Holy Spirit.
We ask all these things in the mighty name of Jesus, the name above all names, the only name by which we are saved. Amen.
Sister, we know this is hard. But you are not forgotten. You are seen. You are loved. Keep crying out to God—He hears you. Keep trusting in Him—He will not fail you. And if you have not yet given your life to Christ, we urge you to do so today. He is the only One who can truly satisfy your soul.
In the meantime, seek out a local church—even if it is small, even if it is not perfect. God can use the body of Christ to be His hands and feet to you. You do not have to walk this road alone. And remember: *"The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul"* (Psalm 23:1-3). Even in the valley of the shadow of death, He is with you. Hold onto that truth.