We hear the deep pain, confusion, and anger in your words, and our hearts ache with you. The intensity of your emotions—betrayal, injustice, and a sense of being trapped in darkness—is not something to dismiss lightly. But we must first address the spiritual warfare you are describing, because what you are experiencing is not just a battle against flesh and blood, but against principalities and powers in high places (Ephesians 6:12). The enemy, Satan, seeks to steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10), and he will use deception, division, and despair to keep you from the freedom and love that God offers. You mentioned "F U SATAN," and we stand with you in rebuking his lies and schemes in the mighty name of Jesus Christ.
Your words reflect a longing for true love, justice, and restoration, and we want you to know that these are desires God places in our hearts. But we must also gently correct some of the ways you are expressing these desires. The language of vengeance—"I get everything back," "kill me," and cursing—is not aligned with God’s heart. Romans 12:19 tells us, "Don’t seek revenge yourselves, beloved, but give place to God’s wrath. For it is written, 'Vengeance belongs to me; I will repay, says the Lord.'" Trusting God with justice is not passive; it is an act of faith. He sees every wrong, and He will make all things right in His time.
You also mentioned a baby at "11:11" and called it "dark." We do not know the details of what you are referring to, but if there is any sin, abuse, or ungodly act involved, we join you in grieving over it. Psalm 94:16 asks, "Who will rise up for me against the wicked? Who will stand up for me against the evildoers?" God is the ultimate Judge, and He will bring light into every darkness. But we must also warn against speaking in ways that could unintentionally glorify evil or give it power. Ephesians 5:11-12 says, "Have no fellowship with the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather even reprove them. For the things which are done by them in secret, it is a shame even to speak of."
Your desire for love is beautiful and God-given. But we must address the way you are seeking it. You mentioned finding "someone new that hasn’t had a baby at 11:11," but we must emphasize that relationships should not be based on revenge, bitterness, or even a checklist of past experiences. True love is patient, kind, and rooted in Christ (1 Corinthians 13:4-7). If you are seeking a spouse, we encourage you to pursue godly character, mutual faith, and a shared commitment to honoring God in your relationship. Marriage is a sacred covenant between one man and one woman, designed to reflect Christ’s love for the Church (Ephesians 5:22-33). Any relationship outside of this design—whether through premarital sex, same-sex relationships, or other unbiblical unions—will only bring more pain and separation from God.
You also spoke of feeling blocked from love and power, and we want to remind you that God is not the one blocking you. James 1:17 says, "Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom can be no variation, nor turning shadow." If you feel powerless, it may be because you are relying on your own strength or the world’s systems rather than surrendering to God’s will. Jesus said, "Apart from me, you can do nothing" (John 15:5). But when we abide in Him, we bear much fruit. We pray that you would find your identity, worth, and power in Christ alone.
Your mention of changing your name and moving to another country reflects a desire to escape pain, but we must caution you against running from your problems without first seeking God’s wisdom. Proverbs 3:5-6 says, "Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and don’t lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." God may be calling you to a new season, but it must be led by Him, not by fear or anger.
Most importantly, we must address your relationship with Jesus Christ. You mentioned His name, and we are grateful for that, but we must ask: Have you surrendered your life to Him? Do you know Him as your Lord and Savior, or are you merely invoking His name in your pain? Salvation comes through faith in Jesus Christ alone (Acts 4:12). Romans 10:9 says, "If you will confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved." If you have not yet made this decision, we urge you to do so today. Jesus is the only way to the Father (John 14:6), and He is the only one who can break the chains of darkness in your life.
Let us pray for you now:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts for our brother who is crying out in pain. Lord, You see his anguish, his sense of betrayal, and his longing for justice and love. We ask that You would draw near to him, Father. Let him feel Your presence in a tangible way. Break the chains of bitterness, anger, and despair that the enemy has used to bind him. Remind him that vengeance belongs to You, and that You are a God who sees, hears, and acts on behalf of the oppressed.
Lord, we rebuke every spirit of darkness that has spoken lies to him. We declare that no weapon formed against him will prosper (Isaiah 54:17). We pray that You would expose every scheme of the enemy and bring truth to every area of deception in his life. Father, we ask that You would heal his heart from every wound—whether from family, relationships, or the world’s cruelty. Pour out Your love and peace that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7).
We pray for his relationship with You, Lord. If he does not yet know You as Savior, we ask that You would reveal Yourself to him in a powerful way. Let him experience the freedom that comes from surrendering his life to Jesus Christ. If he does know You, we ask that You would deepen his faith and trust in You. Help him to release his need for control and vengeance, and to rest in Your sovereignty.
Father, we pray for his future relationships. If it is Your will for him to marry, we ask that You would bring a godly spouse into his life—someone who loves You first and will walk with him in faith. Protect him from relationships that do not honor You, and give him wisdom to discern Your will. Help him to build his life on Your Word, not on the shifting sands of the world.
Lord, we also pray for his family. You tell us to honor our parents (Exodus 20:12), but we know that some families are sources of deep pain. Give him the strength to forgive, even when it feels impossible. Help him to set boundaries where needed, but also to pray for their salvation and healing. Let Your light shine into every dark corner of his family’s history.
Finally, Father, we ask that You would give him hope. Remind him that this world is not his home, and that You are preparing a place for him where there will be no more pain, no more tears, and no more darkness (Revelation 21:4). Help him to fix his eyes on You, the author and perfecter of his faith (Hebrews 12:2). May he find his identity, purpose, and power in Christ alone.
We pray all of this in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, the name above every name, the only name by which we can be saved. Amen.
We encourage you to seek out a local church or a community of believers who can walk with you in this season. You do not have to fight this battle alone. God has placed people in your life who can pray with you, encourage you, and help you grow in faith. If you are not already connected to a church, we urge you to find one that preaches the truth of God’s Word and loves people well.
Also, consider spending time in Scripture to renew your mind. Start with the book of Psalms, which is full of raw, honest cries to God in the midst of pain. Meditate on verses like Psalm 34:18, "Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit." Let God’s Word be the lamp to your feet and the light to your path (Psalm 119:105).
Lastly, we want to leave you with this promise from Jeremiah 29:11: "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says Yahweh, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you hope and a future." God has not forgotten you. He has a plan for your life, and it is a plan for good. Trust Him with your pain, your future, and your heart. He is faithful, even when the world is not.
I FIND THAT SAD BUT THIS THE WORLD TODAYYYY. NOW MOVING FORWARD I GET MY ENERGY BACK I FIND SOMEONE NEW THAT HASNT HAD A BABY AT 11.11 JESUS CHRIST THAT WAS DARK OF U GUYS SHAME ON U GUYS. WOULD OF BEEN NICE TO HAVE MINE & GOD ALMIGHTY DREAMS COME TRUE WHATEVER NOW MOVING FORWARD I AM DONE WITH YAHOO ITS OVER LIKE SOPRANOS I LET GO OF MY SONG IM DONE TRYING I GET IRRATED INSTEAD, NOW MOVING FORWARD SINCE THIS COUNTRY DOESNT WANT ME TO HAVE MY POWER LOVE NOT TO MAKE IT EVER I GET TO MOVE ANOTHER COUNTRY I BET I CAN GIFTED A FREE OR CHEAP TRUCK TRAILER AND I CAN GET IWATCH I BET FREE THEN I HAVE TO DEAL WITH CAPTIVITY AT LEAST. NOW MOVING FORWARD IM SORRY FOR THE WORLD THAT CREATED EVIL MY OWN FAMILY IS WAY TO DARK FOR ME. THEY KILL LOCK OUT INNOCENTS OF THERE POWER IM DONE FIGHTING THE GRAIN TODAYYYY. NOW MOVING FORWARD I CHANGE MY NAME URGENTLY I LET U ALL GO ITS LIKE A NIGHTMARE TO TRY TO BRING BACK NORMALCY IM SORRY I CANT CHASE THE WORLD ALL DAY LONG ITS TO MUCH CHAOS SORRY EVERYONE I HOPE THAT FOR THOSE WHO R LIGHTS U FIND TRUE LOVE SOMEHOW THATS IT THATS ALL WITH THE BLOOD OF JESUS
