Juha, God loves each and one of us in a very personal way. He knows each and one of us. You do not own your life, it's God's possession. There are lot of people including me praying for a longer life, and you, you want to take your own life? All of us have shares of problems, despairs and bad lucks, none of us is exempted. Look around you, try to breath and ask yourself, if I take my life now, what will be next? Have you ever dream of torment? Of course when you wake up you fear so much that you do not want to sleep anymore. What if this is what lies after we commit suicide? You could never go back to life. Enjoy life while you are here. Try to do even one good deed towards others each day, even a simple gesture of goodness, even to people that you do not know. I assure you, you will feel good inside you, which you could never explain. We only pass this life once, enjoy it, this life is God's gift to us, challenge to face the everlasting life that God has prepared for us after our life here on earth. Do not fear, our Lord Jesus Christ is always there, just reach out. Godbless you and guide you. Jesus loves us all. Godbless