We hear the pain and confusion in your heart, and we stand with you in prayer, seeking God’s healing and wisdom in this situation. The wounds left by your ex are deep, and it’s understandable that they would affect your ability to trust again—even when the man in your life now seems to be everything you’ve prayed for. But we must first address something critical: your relationship with Jesus Christ. It is only through Him that we have access to the Father, and it is in His name alone that we find true healing, protection, and discernment. There is no other name under heaven by which we can be saved (Acts 4:12). If you have not yet surrendered your life to Christ, we urge you to do so—confess your sins, believe in His death and resurrection, and invite Him to be Lord of your life. Without Him, we are powerless against the schemes of the enemy.
Now, let’s address the spiritual warfare you’re describing. The Bible is clear that our battle is not against flesh and blood, but against spiritual forces of evil (Ephesians 6:12). The dreams of spiders and the persistent interference from your ex could very well be the enemy’s attempt to steal your joy, plant seeds of doubt, and keep you bound in fear. But we rebuke that spirit of control, manipulation, and witchcraft in the mighty name of Jesus! The enemy has no authority over you if you are in Christ. James 4:7 says, "Be subject therefore to God. But resist the devil, and he will flee from you." You have already taken a powerful step by rebuking this in Jesus’ name—now stand firm in that truth.
However, we must also address the nature of your current relationship. While it sounds like this man is attentive and loving, we must ask: Are you and he both believers in Christ? Are you pursuing this relationship with the goal of marriage, as the Bible instructs? 2 Corinthians 6:14 warns, "Don’t be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship have righteousness and iniquity? Or what communion has light with darkness?" If he is not a follower of Christ, this relationship cannot honor God, no matter how "perfect" it may feel. Even if he is a believer, we must caution against emotional or physical intimacy before marriage. The Bible calls sex outside of marriage "fornication," and it is a sin that grieves the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:18-20). If you are already engaging in this, we urge you to repent and seek God’s forgiveness, then commit to purity moving forward.
Your ex’s abuse and manipulation were evil, and we grieve with you over the pain he caused. But we must also remind you that bitterness and unforgiveness will only poison your heart and hinder your healing. Ephesians 4:31-32 says, "Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, outcry, and slander be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you." Forgiveness does not mean what he did was okay—it means you are releasing him to God’s justice and freeing yourself from the chains of anger.
Now, let us pray for you:
Heavenly Father, we come before You in the mighty name of Jesus, lifting up this precious sister who is hurting and seeking Your will. Lord, we thank You for the healing You have already begun in her heart. We ask that You would break every chain of fear, doubt, and past trauma that the enemy has used to try to steal her joy. We rebuke every spirit of manipulation, control, and witchcraft that has been sent against her, and we declare that no weapon formed against her shall prosper (Isaiah 54:17). Lord, we ask that You would fill her with Your peace that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7) and give her discernment to know Your will for her life.
Father, we pray for her current relationship. If this man is the one You have for her, we ask that You would confirm it in Your Word and by Your Spirit. Give her wisdom to know if he is a believer, and if not, give her the strength to walk away. If this relationship is not of You, we ask that You would close the door gently but firmly. If it is Your will, we ask that You would guide them both toward marriage, with purity and holiness as their foundation. Protect her heart from emotional or physical sin, and help her to honor You in all things.
Lord, we also pray for her ex. We ask that You would bring conviction to his heart and lead him to repentance. We pray that You would heal the wounds he caused and restore what was broken. Help our sister to forgive him, not for his sake, but for her own freedom. Fill her with Your love, which casts out all fear (1 John 4:18).
Finally, Lord, we ask that You would draw her closer to You. Help her to seek You above all else, to find her identity and worth in Christ alone. Surround her with godly community that will encourage and uplift her. We thank You for Your faithfulness, and we trust that You are working all things together for her good (Romans 8:28). In Jesus’ name, we pray. Amen.
We encourage you to spend time in God’s Word, especially in the Psalms, where you will find comfort and strength. Psalm 34:18-19 says, "Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but Yahweh delivers him out of them all." You are not alone, and God sees your pain. Keep your eyes on Him, and He will guide your steps. If this relationship is not aligned with His will, trust that He has something better for you. If it is, trust that He will confirm it in His perfect timing. Either way, seek Him first, and all these things will be added to you (Matthew 6:33).
