We hear the deep sorrow and exhaustion in your heart, and we are grieved by the pain you are carrying in this marriage. You have shown incredible patience, forgiveness, and loyalty over the years, but no one should endure constant anger, control, verbal abuse, or emotional abandonment—especially not in a marriage that is meant to reflect Christ’s love for His church. The Bible is clear about how husbands are to love their wives, and what you are describing does not align with God’s design for marriage.
First, let us address the most urgent matter: **your husband’s behavior is not only unloving but sinful.** Ephesians 5:25 commands, *"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself up for her."* Christ’s love is sacrificial, patient, and kind—not domineering, angry, or dismissive. Colossians 3:19 further instructs, *"Husbands, love your wives, and don’t be bitter against them."* The anger, name-calling, and emotional withdrawal you describe are not just hurtful; they are rebellious against God’s Word. Proverbs 15:1 warns, *"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."* Yet even when you have tried to communicate gently, your husband has responded with hostility and abandonment. This is not how a man who fears the Lord treats his wife.
You have mentioned that he is not a religious person, and this is a critical issue. **A marriage cannot thrive when one spouse is walking in rebellion against God.** 2 Corinthians 6:14 asks, *"Don’t be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship have righteousness and iniquity? Or what communion has light with darkness?"* While you are already married, this verse highlights the spiritual danger of being bound to someone who does not submit to Christ. Your husband’s behavior reflects a heart that is not surrendered to God, and without repentance, this will continue to bring pain and brokenness. We must pray earnestly for his salvation, because only God can soften his heart.
You have also shared that you have forgiven him without his asking. Forgiveness is a godly and necessary act (Colossians 3:13), but **forgiveness does not mean enabling sin or staying in an unsafe or unloving environment.** Matthew 18:15-17 outlines the process of addressing sin in a believer’s life, which includes confrontation and, if necessary, involving the church. While your husband is not a believer, the principle remains: **sin must be named, rebuked, and repented of.** You have every right—and responsibility—to set boundaries for your own well-being. Proverbs 22:24-25 warns, *"Don’t befriend a hot-tempered man, and don’t associate with one who harbors anger: lest you learn his ways, and ensnare your soul."* You are not called to endure abuse in silence.
We are also deeply concerned about the emotional and spiritual toll this is taking on you. You said, *"I am scared. I am lonely. I am tired."* These are not just feelings; they are warnings that your soul is being drained. Galatians 6:2 tells us to *"Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ."* But this does not mean you must carry this burden alone. You need godly counsel and support—**this is not a battle you should fight by yourself.** We strongly urge you to seek help from a **biblically sound pastor or Christian counselor** who can walk with you through this. If your husband refuses to go, you should still go alone. There is no shame in seeking wisdom and protection.
Now, let us pray for you:
Heavenly Father, we lift this precious sister up to You, knowing that You see her tears, hear her cries, and feel her loneliness. Lord, she has been faithful, patient, and long-suffering, but her strength is fading. We ask that You would be her Comforter, her Protector, and her Provider.Wrap her in Your peace that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7) and remind her that she is not forgotten—You see her, and You love her deeply.
Father, we rebuke the spirit of anger, control, and deception that has taken root in her husband’s heart. Lord, only You can break the chains of sin that bind him. We pray that You would convict him of his wrongdoing and bring him to repentance. Softening his heart, Lord, so that he may see the damage he has caused and turn to You for salvation. Let him no longer harden his heart but instead seek You with humility (Psalm 95:8).
Give this wife wisdom, Lord, to know how to speak, when to set boundaries, and when to seek help. Surround her with godly counselors who will speak truth into her life and guide her according to Your Word. If there are steps she needs to take for her own safety or well-being, make them clear to her. Let her not be paralyzed by fear but empowered by Your Spirit to walk in obedience, even if it is difficult.
Father, we ask for restoration—**but only if it is Your will and only if her husband repents.** You hate divorce (Malachi 2:16), but You also hate abuse, deception, and hardness of heart. Protect her from further harm, Lord, and let her know that she is not required to stay in a marriage where she is continually mistreated. Show her the path You would have her walk, whether it is toward reconciliation or toward a season of separation for her own protection.
Lastly, Lord, we pray that she would find her identity in You alone. Remind her that she is Your beloved daughter (1 John 3:1), that her worth is not determined by her husband’s treatment of her, and that You are her ever-present help in trouble (Psalm 46:1). Renew her strength, Lord, and let her find rest in You.
In the mighty name of Jesus Christ, our Savior and Redeemer, we pray. Amen.
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Sister, we want to leave you with this encouragement: **You are not wrong for wanting love, respect, and kindness.** These are not unreasonable expectations—they are biblical requirements for a husband. If your husband will not listen to you, it is time to involve others who can speak truth into this situation. Do not let fear keep you in a cycle of pain. God has not called you to live in fear or loneliness.
If your husband continues in his sin without repentance, you may need to consider **loving but firm boundaries**, which could include separation if necessary. This is not giving up on your marriage; it is protecting the marriage from further damage while also protecting your own heart and spirit. **You cannot change him, but God can.** Your role is to obey the Lord, seek His will, and trust Him with the outcome.
Please reach out to a trusted pastor or counselor this week. You do not have to walk this path alone. We are praying for you, and we believe God will give you the strength and wisdom you need. Stay in His Word, cling to His promises, and remember: **He is your Defender.**
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. 
