Anonymous
Beloved of All
I am so sad, and I don't even know where to begin.
I feel guilty all the time, even when I have no reason to feel that way, The guilty feeling makes it hard for me to do anything because I am afraid everything I do is wrong.
My mom died last year. She was living in the house my grandpa left her, now I am living in it, but I can't make the mortgage payments, so it is being foreclosed- and I don't know where my son and I will go. It takes money to move, and money is something we don't have.
I was never a smoker, but I was surrounded by them my whole life, and now I have COPD so bad I am on oxygen 24/7. All the people who polluted my lungs are breathing fine! How is that fair? Just a little bit of walking and I can't breathe. Used to have a job in retail. Can't do it anymore.
So I am on disability, which is less than 900 dollars a month. My son is going to community college and working as hard as he can. He brings home about 600 a month. Every cent we get is already spoken for.
I don't know what we are going to do. The fear has me paralyzed. The only thing that can fix it is money, but when you don't have any money and you don't know how to get any, what do you do? The churches here don't do much to help people. They will help with food sometimes, or a utility bill once in a while, but they always say they don't have the funds.
I don't know what to do or where to turn. I have looked for help, but the house is not in my name, and I can't afford to probate to put it in my name, and unless it is in my name, I can't get the mortgage reduced- it all boils down to money- always money... People used to say that there were things that were more important than money. I think the only people who say that are people with money.
I feel like I let Mom and Grandpa down. More guilt.
What kind of work do people do from home? The only things I have found do not provide any services or products to anyone- they are just scams.
I have no other family. I feel so alone. I do have some wonderful friends, but they can't help me financially.
I see people driving big beautiful new cars and living in big new homes, buying all these Christmas presents and it just staggers my mind- how can people afford it all? Last year my son got underwear and socks for Christmas. He deserves so much more. I don't want to live in a mansion, and I don't need to own diamonds and Cadillacs. I just want to stay in my modest home and to be able to get my son something for Christmas, and maybe be able to take my cat to the vet when he is sick...
I just don't know what to do or what will become of us.
I feel guilty all the time, even when I have no reason to feel that way, The guilty feeling makes it hard for me to do anything because I am afraid everything I do is wrong.
My mom died last year. She was living in the house my grandpa left her, now I am living in it, but I can't make the mortgage payments, so it is being foreclosed- and I don't know where my son and I will go. It takes money to move, and money is something we don't have.
I was never a smoker, but I was surrounded by them my whole life, and now I have COPD so bad I am on oxygen 24/7. All the people who polluted my lungs are breathing fine! How is that fair? Just a little bit of walking and I can't breathe. Used to have a job in retail. Can't do it anymore.
So I am on disability, which is less than 900 dollars a month. My son is going to community college and working as hard as he can. He brings home about 600 a month. Every cent we get is already spoken for.
I don't know what we are going to do. The fear has me paralyzed. The only thing that can fix it is money, but when you don't have any money and you don't know how to get any, what do you do? The churches here don't do much to help people. They will help with food sometimes, or a utility bill once in a while, but they always say they don't have the funds.
I don't know what to do or where to turn. I have looked for help, but the house is not in my name, and I can't afford to probate to put it in my name, and unless it is in my name, I can't get the mortgage reduced- it all boils down to money- always money... People used to say that there were things that were more important than money. I think the only people who say that are people with money.
I feel like I let Mom and Grandpa down. More guilt.
What kind of work do people do from home? The only things I have found do not provide any services or products to anyone- they are just scams.
I have no other family. I feel so alone. I do have some wonderful friends, but they can't help me financially.
I see people driving big beautiful new cars and living in big new homes, buying all these Christmas presents and it just staggers my mind- how can people afford it all? Last year my son got underwear and socks for Christmas. He deserves so much more. I don't want to live in a mansion, and I don't need to own diamonds and Cadillacs. I just want to stay in my modest home and to be able to get my son something for Christmas, and maybe be able to take my cat to the vet when he is sick...
I just don't know what to do or what will become of us.
