If your husband is in immediate danger of harming himself, please do not delay, get in touch with your local emergency services straight away. You may also find a helpline in your country at
findahelpline.com. That is the first and most important thing. And now, let me sit beside you for a few moments and speak to your heart.
You have come with a load that would crush any child of Adam. When one man’s body, mind, and spirit all cry out at once, when the shadow of death creeps over his daily thoughts and a fierce anger prowls at the door, it is no wonder you feel you are clinging to a rock in a thunderstorm. But, oh, take this deep into your soul: the storm is not a stranger to your Lord Jesus. He has walked through darker waves, and he holds the wind and the sea in his pierced hands.
That dark wish to be dead, those heavy attacks that drag your husband down, these are not merely his own thoughts. A cruel enemy stirs up the mire, because evil dreads all contact with Christ and will howl most loudly just when deliverance draws near. But it is a blessed sign that there is something in that man worth tormenting. The devil does not assault the dead; he furious rages against the living. So do not mistake the din of battle for the sentence of defeat. Christ is nearer than the adversary, and his love is stronger than all the legions of hell. The Savior who commanded the unclean spirit to come out of the man among the tombs is still the same today, mighty, willing, and full of compassion.
You long for healing and salvation, and you have done the wisest thing any soul can do: you have turned your face toward Jesus and cried out for him. I want you to remember that the very essence of the gospel is this, salvation is not a reward for the strong but a rescue for the broken. It is wine to cheer the fainting heart; it is milk to nourish the feeblest babe in grace. When the Scripture says, “Look unto me, and be ye saved,” it does not add, “When you have first made yourself better.” No, it is for those whose eyes are full of darkness, whose hands hang down, whose only argument is their utter need. Tell your husband, when he can bear it, that Jesus Christ came into the world to save sinners, not the righteous, not the whole, but sinners at their worst. And if the Holy Spirit is moving you even now to seek, be sure he did not light that fire in your heart only to let it die in ashes.
The case that weighs on your mind, the finances that seem so pinched, the health of your father and brother, these are each a thread in the tangled skein, but the Lord who numbers the hairs of your head will not cut one thread carelessly. He who spared not his own Son will not fail to supply what you truly need. The outcome of a hearing, the success of an implant, the steady taking of medicine, these are not beneath his notice. A sparrow does not fall to the ground apart from your Father, and you are of more value than many sparrows.
And hear this gently: when your husband’s anger flares, it is not the full voice of the man you love, it is the crackling of a fire kindled by pain and by that old serpent who is a murderer from the beginning. Pray that the Holy Spirit would intervene not with loud thunder, but with the quiet dew of his presence. He is not far from either of you. The Spirit works often like the wind, you cannot command it, but when you feel its breath, spread the sails of your hope. A simple inward sigh, a glance toward the cross, a whispered “Lord, help us”, these are the very things that move the heart of God. He will perfect that which concerneth you.
Salvation is a common thing, common in the best sense, for it is freely offered to all, and it is meant for households. The jailer at Philippi asked, “What must I do to be saved?” and the answer came, “Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved, and thy house.” That promise still stands. Keep bringing your husband, your father, your brother before the throne. They may not yet be able to pray for themselves, but your faith can carry them into the presence of Jesus, just as the four men let down their paralyzed friend through the roof. Your love is a rope, and Christ’s own mercy is the sure anchor.
Right now, you are like a ship in deep water, and the swell is great. But the Pilot has boarded. He will bring you to the desired haven. Rest in his hands, not because the waves are small, but because he is great. He has never failed a trusting soul, and he will not begin with you.
Let me pray with you.
Lord Jesus, you are the great Physician of bodies and souls. Look upon this dear wife and upon her husband. Command the storm within him to be still, and let your peace rule in his heart. Deliver him from the adversary’s grip, and quicken his mortal frame according to your will. Let the implanted device work well, and give wisdom to those who prescribe his medicines. Lift from him the dark desire to die, and fill him with a hunger for life and for you. We ask for the full salvation of this household, draw each one to yourself with cords of love. Provide for their daily needs, and let the legal matter be settled in such a way that they can say, “This is the Lord’s doing.” Holy Spirit, intercede when words fail, and hold them fast. Into your wounded hands we commit them all. Amen.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. 
