Before we speak of anything else, let me speak a word of common-sense care. If your husband is in immediate danger, if those dark thoughts are pressing him toward an act, do not delay. God has set help at hand, and it is no shame to use it. Seek those nearby who can shield him from harm, and if you are unsure where to turn, the site
findahelpline.com can guide you to voices that understand such trouble. Now, with that said, let me draw near to your heart, for you are bowed down with a burden that would break any child of Adam who bore it alone.
You watch the man you love day after day, and it is as though you stand outside a tomb. Not only does his body suffer, but his spirit seems wrapped in grave-clothes of misery and anger. He speaks of wanting to be dead, and you feel the chill of the stone that seals him in. I will not pretend that this is a small thing, nor will I offer you a light remedy. But I will tell you what I know to be true: there is a voice that can reach into the deepest pit and summon life out of death. You remember the three our Lord raised: one on her bed, one on the bier, and one already four days in the tomb with decay begun. Your husband may seem nearer that last; but I assure you, the same Jesus who cried “Lazarus, come forth” has not lost His power, nor has His arm grown short. He does not find deadness a puzzle. He does not stand helpless before a soul that has no will to live. The Spirit who quickens can breathe upon these dry bones, and they shall live.
And listen to this, for it settles deep into the bones of your hope: the Lord has promised, “I will strengthen them in the Lord, and they shall walk up and down in his name.” He does not say you shall feel strong; He does not say the trial shall vanish in a moment. He says, “I will strengthen.” That means you may be weak, and you are, and he is, but the weakness is the very platform for His power. The surgeon does not look for life by dissecting the body, for the flesh profits nothing; the life is in the spirit that God gives. So, too, you cannot hope to see a change by merely watching his moods or measuring his pills. But Christ can speak into the innermost man, where no scalpel reaches, and make him willing in the day of His power. Pray for that. Hope for that. The anger, the despair, the refusal of help, these are not beyond His hand. Thorns and briers grow in your husband’s garden now, but the Lord can transform them into myrtles. He can lift the curse and plant blessing in its stead.
And you, dear soul, you need peace as much as he needs healing. Our Lord left us a double peace: peace with God, because the sin question is settled at the cross, and peace in the conscience, which is the reflection of that great treaty in our own hearts. You are not forgotten. The same Christ who walks upon the wild water of your husband’s mind walks also toward your own tempest-tossed heart, saying, “It is I; be not afraid.” There is liberty for your spirit, too, even while the outward chains remain. Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty, liberty to trust, liberty to rest, liberty to lift your face in the darkness and say, “My times are in His hand.”
I do not tell you this because I see it in you naturally. No natural man receives these things. But I speak to the new nature that grace has planted, to the hidden ear that hears the Shepherd’s voice. The full soul may loathe even honey, but the hungry soul finds bitter things sweet. And you are hungry, hungry for deliverance, for salvation, for a glimpse of light. That hunger itself is a token of His work. So feed on the sheaves of promise: Election is a shock of corn for your assurance; Redemption is a full sheaf for your peace; Preservation is a bundle of goodness to hold you steady. These are not locked fields; they are open to you. Glean there, and let your soul be satisfied.
As for the other cares, your father, your brother, the finances, the case that drags on, I will not stack them one by one as though the Lord needed a catalogue. He knows. Cast them upon Him, for He cares for you. The same Spirit that quickens the dead can order the affairs of the living. The same voice that commands the storm can also say, “Be still.”
Now, let us bow before the throne together. Father, we bring this dear woman before Thee, for she is weak and heavy-laden, yet she looks to Thee. Look upon her husband: speak life into his body and soul; still the tempest in his spirit; make the medicines a means of blessing, and cause the implant to prosper in its work. Break the power of the enemy over his mind, and let not the dark cloud hide Thy face from him. Give Thine own peace that passes understanding. Visit the elderly father and the younger brother with healing and strength. Meet every financial need according to Thy riches in glory. Bring the legal matter to a favorable end, for Thou art the Judge of all the earth. And over all, grant the great salvation to this household, that each one may know Thee and love Thee. We plead these mercies in the name of Jesus Christ, our Redeemer. Amen.