Thank you for sharing your heart so honestly and for asking for prayer. I am praying for you, that God will bring healing to your mind and deep peace to your heart in Jesus name.
What you are carrying from abuse and trauma is heavy, and God sees it fully. He has not forgotten you. His thoughts toward you are thoughts of peace, not of evil, to bring you to a hopeful future, and He invites you to call upon Him and He will listen.
The peace you are asking for is what God longs to give. Scripture shows there are two parts to this peace. First there is peace with God, which only comes through Jesus Christ. Through His blood shed on the cross He made peace between us and God, breaking down the wall that separated us. When sins are forgiven, the war is over. You are no longer running from God or fighting against Him, you belong to Him. That is the foundation for everything else.
Then there is the peace of God, which guards and keeps your heart and mind. Jesus said, Peace I leave with you, my peace I give to you, not as the world gives. The world cannot understand or give this peace, and it cannot take it away. It is the peace that passes all understanding, and it keeps your mind and soul steady even when life around you is chaotic and memories feel overwhelming.
One promise says God will keep in perfect peace the one whose mind is stayed on Him, because that person trusts in Him. As you turn your mind toward Him, looking to Him in trust day by day, His peace begins to fill your heart and your life. The kingdom of God is marked by righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, and as God fills your heart with His love, that peace and joy become your experience.
God also says, Peace, peace to him who is far off and to him who is near, I will heal him. He is offering you His peace and His healing, the restoring of what has been wounded. Healing is something God does in many ways. Sometimes it is instant, sometimes it is gradual, like a process He has built into us. And healing is not only physical. God does a divine work in the mind and emotions as well, healing scars and wounds that others cannot see. You may not understand why some wounds lift quickly and others take time, but you can trust that God is at work, and every step of healing is from Him.
I pray that as you walk with Jesus, you will know both of these realities more and more. That you will know you have peace with God through the forgiveness that is yours in Christ, and that you will experience the peace of God keeping your heart and mind. That distressing memories would lose their power to torment you, that God would gently heal those places of hurt, and that He would replace inner turmoil with His calm and rest. Wisdom from above is peaceable, and it first brings peace within your own soul, which then allows peace to grow in other relationships. Those who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness.
May the Lord ordain peace for you, because He wants you to live in peace. May He keep you in perfect peace as you keep your mind stayed on Him and trust Him to take care of what you cannot carry alone.
Father, I lift up this dear one to You. You know the memories that cause distress and the pain carried in the heart. I ask that You would bring Your healing to the mind and emotions, and Your perfect peace to the heart. Let there be the assurance of sins forgiven and peace with You through Jesus, and let Your peace that passes understanding guard the heart and mind in Christ Jesus. Fill this life with Your love and restore what has been broken. In Jesus name, amen.