We understand the deep ache of letting go of someone you once held dear, and we want you to know that your pain is seen and heard. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, and He is walking with you through this season of healing and surrender. We must first address something essential: the name of Jesus was not mentioned in your request, and it is only through Him that we find true healing, restoration, and access to the Father. The Scriptures remind us in **John 14:6**, *"Jesus said to him, 'I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me.'"*: and in **Acts 4:12**, *"There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved!"* If you have not yet surrendered your life to Christ, we urge you to do so, for He alone can mend your heart and guide your steps into the future He has prepared for you.
This relationship, as you’ve shared, was marked by strife, unkindness, and a lack of godly foundation. While it’s clear you both cared for one another, the constant fighting, miscommunication, and fear of letting go reveal a bond that was not rooted in Christ or His design for relationships. The Bible teaches us in **Ephesians 4:29-32**, *"Let no corrupt speech proceed out of your mouth, but only what is good for building others up as the need may be, that it may give grace to those who hear. Don’t grieve the Holy Spirit of God... Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, outcry, and slander, be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you."* A relationship that lacks these qualities—especially one between believers—cannot thrive in the way God intends. It is not wrong to mourn the loss of companionship, but we must also recognize when God, in His wisdom and love, closes a door to protect us or redirect our paths.
You mentioned that you regret not turning to couples therapy, prayer, or Scripture during your relationship. While it’s natural to look back with regret, we encourage you to see this as a lesson for the future. If God calls you into another relationship, let it be one where both of you are fully surrendered to Christ, seeking His will above your own, and building your bond on prayer, Scripture, and mutual respect. **2 Corinthians 6:14** warns us, *"Don’t be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship have righteousness and iniquity? Or what communion has light with darkness?"* Even if your ex claimed to be a believer, the fruit of the relationship did not reflect the love, patience, and kindness that should mark a Christ-centered union. This is a sobering reminder of why we must seek godly counsel and prioritize spiritual alignment in any future courtship.
As for your struggle to let go, we gently but firmly remind you that holding onto hope for reconciliation when God has clearly closed this chapter is not His will for you. **Isaiah 43:18-19** says, *"Don’t remember the former things, and don’t consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing. It springs out now. Don’t you know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert."* Your heart may still ache for what was, but God is calling you to trust Him with what *will be*. Clinging to this relationship—even in your thoughts—will only delay the healing and new beginnings He has for you. **Philippians 3:13-14** encourages us, *"Brothers, I don’t regard myself as yet having taken hold, but one thing I do: forgetting the things which are behind, and stretching forward to the things which are before, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus."*
You also asked for prayer for your ex’s "cold heart." While it is kind to desire good for others, we must be cautious not to let this prayer become a way to keep emotional ties alive. Instead, we will pray that God softens his heart *toward Himself*—that your ex would come to know the love of Christ and repent of any hardness or bitterness. But your focus, dear sister, must now be on your own healing and surrender to God’s plan. **Proverbs 4:23** tells us, *"Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it is every issue of life."* Guard your heart from replaying memories or entertaining "what ifs." Fill your mind with Scripture, worship, and truth instead.
Lastly, we must address the fact that this relationship included behaviors that were not honoring to God. The "on-and-off" dynamic, the fear of letting go, and the mistreatment you both engaged in are not the marks of a healthy, godly courtship. If there was any physical intimacy outside of marriage, we urge you to repent and seek God’s forgiveness, for **1 Corinthians 6:18** commands, *"Flee sexual immorality! 'Every sin that a man does is outside the body,' but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body."* If this was not an issue, we still encourage you to reflect on how this relationship fell short of God’s design and to commit your future romantic pursuits to Him alone.
Now, let us pray for you:
Heavenly Father, we lift our sister before You, asking that You would wrap her in Your peace and comfort as she navigates this season of letting go. Lord, we thank You that You see her pain, her longing, and her struggle to release what was never Yours for her to keep. Father, we ask that You would break every emotional tie that still binds her to this past relationship. Remove every trace of hope for reconciliation that is not from You, and replace it with a holy surrender to Your will. Heal the wounds in her heart from the fighting, the unkindness, and the instability she endured. Restore her joy and her confidence in You as her Provider and Protector.
Lord, we pray that she would not look back with regret but forward with faith, trusting that You are making all things new. Give her the strength to forget what is behind and press on toward the future You have for her—a future that includes a godly spouse if it is Your will, but more importantly, a deeper intimacy with You. Help her to fill her mind with Your Word, to surround herself with godly community, and to reject any temptation to dwell on the past.
We also lift her ex before You, not that she would be reunited with him, but that his heart would be softened *toward You*, Lord. If he does not know You, draw him to salvation. If he has strayed, bring him to repentance. But Father, we ask that You would sever any unhealthy soul ties between them and give our sister the grace to move forward in freedom.
Finally, Lord, we pray that she would find her identity and fulfillment in You alone. Remind her that she is Your beloved daughter, redeemed and cherished, and that no earthly relationship can complete her the way You can. Fill her with Your peace, Your purpose, and Your hope for the future. In the mighty and holy name of Jesus Christ, we pray. Amen.
Sister, we encourage you to immerse yourself in Scripture, particularly passages about God’s love and sovereignty, such as **Psalm 34:18**, **Jeremiah 29:11**, and **Romans 8:28**. Surround yourself with believers who can speak truth into your life and hold you accountable. Consider fasting and praying for breakthrough in this area if you feel led. And remember: God’s plans for you are good, even when the path is painful. Trust Him, and He will lead you into the abundant life He has promised.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. 
