Harassment

[Chrysostom]

Thank you for sharing this update so honestly, and for continuing to seek the Lord in the midst of a long and wearying trial. It is understandable to feel frustrated when you have taken steps toward forgiveness and peacemaking and still see hurtful behavior continue, especially while you are also carrying the burden of a medical condition that leaves you irritable and worn down.

What you have described helps clarify where true hope lies. Coming out of involvement in the new age, the ground of deliverance is not found in appeasing other people or in earning release through reconciliation, but in salvation through Jesus Christ alone and in His authority over every evil influence. Scripture teaches that when we turn from those former ways and trust in Christ, we receive forgiveness as a gift of grace. As David says, blessed are they whose iniquities are forgiven and whose sins are covered. That blessedness is not a reward for our work, but grace given to those who believe, and it removes shame and brings us into peace with God.

Forgiveness toward others flows from that grace. You have rightly seen that holding onto unforgiveness can give a foothold for harassment and bitterness to continue, and that learning a gentle and human soul is part of what God is teaching you. At the same time, forgiveness does not depend on whether the other person changes, and peacemaking does not guarantee that their behavior will change. You can forgive and seek peace as far as it depends on you, while still entrusting justice and protection to God and maintaining wise boundaries where behavior remains harmful.

Your frustration with persistence is also understandable. Scripture gives us examples to encourage perseverance in prayer rather than discouragement. The Canaanite woman who was told it is not right to take the children's bread and give it to dogs still persevered and received healing for her daughter. The widow who kept coming to the judge, the friend who knocked at midnight, and the man who waited thirty eight years by the pool all show the same lesson, that God honors steadfast, importunate prayer. You are not unworthy because you must keep praying. The Lord often uses perseverance itself to form us and to make us ready to receive what He longs to give.

That call to persevere is especially important when you feel irritable and tempted back toward unforgiveness because of physical suffering. Irritability brought on by illness does not mean you have failed beyond grace. It is a signal that you need much prayer, much endurance, and much perseverance, as well as practical care for your body. Pray at all seasons and watch in prayer, not only at set times but without ceasing, bringing both your struggle with forgiveness and your health before the Lord. Ask Him for a soft heart even when your body feels on edge, and for strength to turn quickly to Him when feelings of resentment rise. If you do stumble into bitter thoughts, do not remain there. Confess it quickly, receive again the forgiveness that is already yours in Christ, and ask for help to release that person anew to God.

It may help to keep a simple pattern in these days. When you feel harassed or irritated, pause and pray briefly in the Spirit, committing the person and the situation to Christ, asking for His protection and for a gentle spirit in yourself. Continue to do good where you can, but do not measure God's work only by whether others immediately change. Seek support from faithful believers around you who can pray with you regularly and help you discern healthy boundaries, and continue to seek appropriate care for your medical condition.

I pray for you now that God will deepen your assurance of His forgiveness through Christ, guard your heart and mind in Him, and grant you perseverance that does not grow weary. May He heal and strengthen you in body, quiet the harassment you have experienced, and teach you to live in the freedom of those whose sins are covered by grace, growing in gentleness and endurance as you keep seeking Him day by day.

 

[Silas]

Thank you for sharing so honestly about what you have been walking through, and thank you for letting us pray with you. It is encouraging to hear that God has been showing you the heavy weight that unforgiveness can carry, and that you have taken steps toward making peace where you can.

What you describe about harassment that followed involvement in the new age is real. Scripture shows that evil spirits are real, intelligent beings. They speak and cry out when they leave, they seek a body to inhabit because they are restless without one, and they can influence people to do what is cruel and inhumane in a way that cannot be explained on human terms alone. At the same time Jesus made clear that we should not jump to the conclusion that every sickness or affliction is directly caused by a demon. He corrected that kind of thinking. So it is wise to make a distinction. The harassment and spiritual oppression you have known has a demonic element, but the irritability you feel from your medical condition is not necessarily the same thing. Both need prayer, but they are not the same.

You are right that unforgiveness keeps a door open for torment. Unforgiveness eats away at a person from the inside. It can bring mental turmoil and unrest, and it keeps us brooding over the injury instead of leaving it in the hands of God. A forgiving spirit does not mean that what was done was right, and it does not mean you must brood over it or carry it. Forgiveness is a choice to release the person to God and to walk away from the need to hold onto the hurt. That release is for your freedom before God.

Reaching out to make peace where possible is a good and biblical desire, but it will not always change the other person's behavior. People who are still under dark influences may continue to act in evil ways even after you have forgiven and sought peace. Your forgiveness does not control them. Scripture describes a place of confinement for evil spirits, separate from the place of the dead for people, and it shows that at times hordes of those spirits are loosed to deceive and torment. You cannot hide from spirit beings by shutting a door or hiding in a closet, but God does make a separation. Those who belong to Him and are sealed by Him are under His protection. Your safety is not ultimately in whether those people change, but in belonging to Jesus and walking watchfully with Him, keeping your garments clean before Him as you wait for His return.

It is understandable that you feel frustrated and annoyed when progress is slow, and even more so when physical suffering makes you irritable and old feelings of unforgiveness rise again. Feelings will fluctuate, especially when the body is weak. Forgiveness is not a feeling that never wavers, it is a settled decision before the Lord to keep releasing the hurt to Him as often as it rises up.

In your frustration you mentioned persistence. It is good to keep praying, but think of persistence in the right way. Jesus told of a persistent widow and an unjust judge to teach by contrast, not by comparison. The point was not that God is like that unjust judge who has to be worn down and bothered until He finally gives in. God is not reluctant. He is a righteous Father who hears His children. Jesus said ask and you will receive, seek and you will find, knock and it will be opened. You do not have to break God down by bugging Him, as if you could wear Him out and then He will answer. That kind of persistence could even lead you to ask for things that would harm you. True persistence is simply continuing to come to a willing Father in trust, bringing the same need to Him again and again because you trust His character.

So keep bringing this harassment, this need for a forgiving heart, and this medical struggle to the Lord in simple, honest prayer. Ask Him to guard your heart from brooding, to help you to forgive from the heart even when irritation is strong, to set boundaries where needed, and to keep you under the protection of His seal. If you have not already, talk with a trusted pastor or mature believer who can pray with you in person and help you walk through both the spiritual and the practical steps, and continue to seek appropriate care for your medical condition.

Jesus is able to deliver and to keep you. He has authority over every evil spirit, and they must go at His word. Rest in His finished work for you, ask Him daily for grace to forgive as you have been forgiven, and trust that He hears you the first time you ask and every time after.