We understand the deep pain and heartache you are carrying, and we want you to know that God sees your suffering and hears your cries. Your desire to let go of the hurt, forgive, and move forward is commendable, but we must address some concerns in your request to ensure alignment with Scripture.
First, forgiveness is not about "getting what we deserve" or returning hurt for hurt. The Bible teaches us to forgive as Christ forgave us—unconditionally and without expectation of reciprocity. In Ephesians 4:31-32, we are told, *"Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, outcry, and slander be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you."* Forgiveness is not optional for believers; it is a commandment rooted in the grace we have received. When we withhold forgiveness, we allow bitterness to take root, which defiles us (Hebrews 12:15). You cannot truly move forward while holding onto resentment or wishing pain upon others, even if they have wronged you deeply. That is not how God operates, and it is not His will for you.
You mentioned rebuking a "demon" from your life, and while we acknowledge the reality of spiritual warfare, we must be careful not to attribute human sin and brokenness solely to demonic influence. People are responsible for their own choices, and while Satan may tempt or influence, he does not force anyone to sin. The real battle is often within our own hearts. James 4:7-8 tells us, *"Be subject therefore to God. But resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you."* Your focus should be on submitting to God, resisting sin, and allowing the Holy Spirit to heal and renew you—not on cursing or returning pain to others.
As for your son, we understand your fear of history repeating itself, but we must remind you that he is not his father. While you have every right to set boundaries to protect yourself from abuse, you cannot write him off or treat him as if he is already guilty of the sins of his father. Each person stands before God on their own (Ezekiel 18:20). Your role is to pray for him, love him in truth, and trust God to work in his life. Proverbs 22:6 encourages us, *"Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it."* If you have done what you could to raise him in godliness, you must now release him to God’s sovereignty. You cannot control his choices, but you can trust God to convict, correct, and redeem.
You also mentioned wanting "the truth to come out" and for them to "see their flaws." While truth is important, your motivation must be examined. Are you seeking truth for the sake of justice and redemption, or are you seeking it for vengeance or validation? Romans 12:19 warns us, *"Don’t seek revenge yourselves, beloved, but give place to God’s wrath. For it is written, ‘Vengeance belongs to me; I will repay, says the Lord.’"* God alone is the just judge. Your responsibility is to forgive, release the offense to Him, and trust that He will handle it in His perfect timing and way.
Finally, you said, *"I pray we all get what we put in and deserve."* This is a dangerous mindset because none of us want what we truly deserve. Romans 6:23 tells us, *"The wages of sin is death,"* and if we received what we deserved, we would all face eternal separation from God. But praise God, He does not give us what we deserve! Instead, He offers mercy, grace, and redemption through Jesus Christ. If you are in Christ, you no longer "get what you deserve"—you receive what Christ earned for you: forgiveness, freedom, and eternal life. Your prayer should not be for justice based on works, but for mercy based on His sacrifice.
Now, let us pray for you:
Heavenly Father, we lift up our sister to You, knowing that You are the God who heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds (Psalm 147:3). Lord, the pain she carries is deep, and the wounds of abuse and betrayal have left scars that only You can heal. We ask that You would flood her heart with Your peace, which surpasses all understanding, and guard her mind in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:7). Remove every root of bitterness, every seed of resentment, and every desire for vengeance. Replace it with Your love, Your grace, and Your power to forgive as You have forgiven her.
Lord, we pray for her son. Soften his heart, Lord, and draw him to Yourself. Break any generational curses or patterns of sin that the enemy may try to perpetuate. Give our sister wisdom in how to love him well while maintaining godly boundaries. Help her to release him into Your hands, trusting that You are able to save and transform him.
Father, we rebuke any spirit of fear, anger, or unforgiveness that may be lingering in her life. Fill her instead with Your Holy Spirit—Your spirit of love, power, and a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7). Help her to walk in the freedom and newness of life that Christ died to give her. Remind her that she is no longer a slave to her past or to the sins committed against her, but she is a new creation in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17).
Lord, we ask that You would expose any lies she may be believing—lies about her worth, her future, or her ability to trust You. Replace those lies with Your truth. Let her know that she is deeply loved, fully forgiven, and completely free in You. Help her to surrender her desire for justice or retribution, and instead, seek Your kingdom and Your righteousness above all else (Matthew 6:33).
We pray all of this in the mighty and matchless name of Jesus Christ, our Redeemer and our Healer. Amen.
Our sister, we want to encourage you to meditate on God’s Word daily, especially verses about forgiveness, healing, and trust. Psalm 34:18 says, *"The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit."* He is with you in this. Lean on Him, not on your own understanding (Proverbs 3:5-6). If you have not already, we strongly encourage you to seek godly counseling or a trusted believer who can walk with you through this season. You do not have to carry this burden alone.
Lastly, remember that forgiveness does not mean what was done to you was okay. It does not mean you have to trust those who hurt you or allow them back into your life. Forgiveness is about releasing the debt to God and refusing to let bitterness control you. It is an act of obedience that sets *you* free. Trust that God sees all, knows all, and will handle all things justly in His time. Your job is to forgive, love, and walk in the new life He has given you. You are not defined by your past or by the sins of others. You are defined by Christ, and in Him, you are more than a conqueror (Romans 8:37). Walk in that truth today.
