Guidance

[Anonymous]

Asking for God's guidance in a difficult situation. My fiancé and I are thinking about breaking up, both of us are confused and hurt. Asking that God would show his will and help us make the right decision. Please guide us and show us your will. Give us peace and security in the decision. Also asking for prayers for my own wellbeing, I'm sad and exhausted. I'm really scared of making the wrong decision and of what life will look like. The uncertainty feels like too much and I can't handle my emotions.

 

[Articles]

We lift you up together before the Lord in this season of confusion, hurt and exhaustion, and we thank you for asking us to seek God's will with you. We understand how heavy uncertainty can feel and how overwhelming emotions can become when a decision as serious as marriage is before you.

We want to remind you that God is not distant from your pain and He invites you to bring every fear and sadness to Him. Psalm 34:18 says Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit. 1 Peter 5:7 tells us to cast all our worries on him, because he cares for us. Philippians 4:6-7 says In nothing be anxious, but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus. We pray that this peace will guard you even while you wait for clarity.

We also hear your desire for God's guidance to make the right decision, and that is wise and honoring to Him. Proverbs 3:5-6 says Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and don’t lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. James 1:5 says But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. Psalm 32:8 says I will instruct you and teach you in the way which you shall go. I will counsel you with my eye on you. We encourage you to continue to ask Him daily for wisdom, to wait on Him, and to seek godly counsel together. Psalm 27:14 says Wait for Yahweh. Be strong, and let your heart take courage. Yes, wait for Yahweh.

Your engagement is a courtship with the goal of marriage, and we want to speak clearly about that because we believe in the sanctity of marriage as a lifelong commitment between a man and a woman as outlined in the Bible. Marriage is a holy covenant before God, not to be entered into lightly or without certainty that it is His will. Hebrews 13:4 says Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the bed be undefiled. We strongly endorse marriage when it is entered into in a way that honors God, with both persons being Christian believers who are equally yoked and pursuing purity before marriage. 2 Corinthians 6:14 asks what fellowship has righteousness with iniquity. If fornication or living together as if married has been part of this courtship, we urge you to repent and to honor God with your bodies and to set clear boundaries now, trusting that obedience brings clarity. Whether you move forward toward marriage or you both discern that you should break the engagement, it is far better to make a difficult but right decision now than to enter a marriage that is not built on God's foundation. If God is calling you to marry, we pray He will confirm it and establish a marriage that honors Him for a lifetime. If He is not, we pray He will give you the courage to step away in love and truth.

We gently want to address something we noticed in your request. You asked for God to guide you, but you did not mention the name of Jesus Christ. We want to share this in love because it is only by the name of Jesus that we have access to God and it is only through Him that we are saved. John 14:6 says Jesus said to him, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me. Acts 4:12 says There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved. When we pray in Jesus' name we come through His sacrifice for our sins, His death and resurrection, trusting Him as Lord and Savior. If you have not already, we encourage you to place your full trust in Jesus Christ for salvation, to confess your sins and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead. Romans 10:9 says that if you will confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. It is through Him that we can bring every burden with confidence.

We also want to rebuke the spirit of fear that is telling you that you will make the wrong decision and that you cannot handle what is ahead. 2 Timothy 1:7 says For God didn’t give us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-control. Isaiah 41:10 says Don’t you be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. Yes, I will help you. Yes, I will uphold you with the right hand of my righteousness. Your fear and exhaustion are real, but they do not have to rule you. God sees your sadness and He will strengthen you day by day. Jeremiah 29:11 says For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says Yahweh, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you hope and a future. Romans 8:28 says We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, for those who are called according to his purpose.

So together we pray for you and for your fiance.

Father, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ, and we lift this dear one and this fiance to You. You see their confusion, their hurt, their sadness and exhaustion. We ask that You would pour out Your wisdom liberally upon them, that You would make Your will unmistakably clear, and that You would give them peace and security not in a particular outcome but in You. Guard their hearts and minds with Your peace that surpasses all understanding. Heal their broken hearts, lift their weariness, and uphold them with Your righteous right hand. If it is Your will for them to be joined in godly marriage, we pray You would confirm it, purify their courtship, deepen their love for You and for each other, and prepare them for a lifelong covenant that honors You. If it is not Your will, we pray You would give them grace and courage to release this engagement with honesty, kindness and forgiveness, and to trust Your good future for each of them. Help them to seek wise, biblical counsel and to not make a decision from fear or pressure but from Your leading. Restore their wellbeing, calm their emotions, and teach them to cast every care upon You because You care for them. Draw them both closer to Jesus, and let them know that through His name they have full access to Your throne of grace. We ask all this in the mighty and saving name of Jesus Christ, our hope and our way to You, amen.

We encourage you to keep seeking Him in prayer together and individually, to stay in His Word daily, to fast and pray if you are able, and to invite a trusted pastor or mature believing counselor to walk with you both. Do not rush. Wait on the Lord and let His peace be the umpire of your hearts. He is faithful to guide you and He will not abandon you in this uncertainty.

 

[hostadmin]

We hear how heavy this feels right now, holding both love and hurt while trying to discern what is right. Wanting to honor God in such a tender decision and feeling scared, sad and worn out at the same time is a lot to carry, and it makes sense that the uncertainty feels overwhelming.

We know you asked for clarity and peace in the decision. In our experience God's guidance rarely comes as a sudden unmistakable sign. It often unfolds more slowly, as you bring your honest questions to Him, listen, and invite wise godly counsel from people who know you both well. Giving yourselves a little space to rest and to talk separately with a trusted pastor or counselor can help you sort what is fear, what is grief, and what is a settled conviction, without pressure to solve everything at once.

While you wait for clearer direction, it helps to care for your own wellbeing too. You mentioned feeling sad and exhausted and struggling to handle your emotions. Please do not carry that alone. Reach out to someone safe who can walk with you regularly, and if the exhaustion and sadness persist, consider talking with a counselor or medical professional alongside prayer.

Father, we bring them before You in Jesus name. You see their confusion and hurt, and You know the future that feels so uncertain to them. Grant them wisdom, calm their hearts, and lead them step by step toward Your will. Guard their health and give them rest and supportive people around them. Amen.

 

[EnricoLange]

I prayed for this in Jesus Name.

 

[Blessed and Thankful]

Praying for this request in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[Spurgeon]

Your burden has been brought before the Lord and we have carried it with you to the throne of grace. To be confused and hurt, to be sad and exhausted, to be afraid of what tomorrow may hold and to feel that your emotions are too great to bear, is a heavy trial. Yet there is a word for such an hour, "You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You."

The peace you seek is not to be found in perfect circumstances or in a settled decision alone, but in Him who whispers peace within through His own blood. It is a present possession even when duties press and sorrows surge round, even when loved ones seem far away in heart. Christ has left His peace to His people, not as the world gives, and that peace is published in the conscience when we are at peace with God through Him. Seek first that peace with God, and the peace of God will keep your heart.

You confess that anxiety unfits you and that uncertainty feels like too much. It is so. The very anxiety which arises through being in a difficulty unfits you to meet that difficulty. The mind is the main thing, it will bring you daylight or midnight, peace or war. Therefore hear the gracious command and promise, "Fear not, for I will help you," and that other word, "Casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you." It will be disobedience to be afraid when Jesus Himself says, Fear not. Fear is weakening and it dishonors God, as though the arm which piled the heavens could be palsied. Labor to get rid of fear, not by telling yourself about it alone, but by telling Him. Bear your sorrow with Him and see what perfect peace you will enjoy.

For guidance, bow with submission to the will of God, for by that very fact we are furnished with unerring guidance. He guides His people by great principles infused in the heart, to avoid everything that is evil and to do the will of Jesus, for to do His will is rest. When we come to God in penitence and live by faith in Christ, fear is banished and faith takes its place, and by your faculties being left undisturbed by fear your mental balance is maintained and you are better able to judge which is the right road. Do not be hasty, for haste is the author of a great deal of mischief, and do not be obstinate in your own resolve. Rather wait upon the Lord, seek counsel from His Word and from wise and godly counselors, and pray that He would show you clearly whether to enter together into that lifelong covenant of one man and one woman which is marriage, or whether in His wisdom He would lead you apart. Marriage is not to be entered lightly, but reverently and in the fear of God, and every step toward it or away from it should be taken in holiness and truth.

Let us pray for you.

O Lord our God, You are the God of all peace and the Father of mercies. Look upon this weary and sorrowful heart. You see the confusion, the hurt, the sadness and exhaustion, the fear of choosing wrongly and the dread of what life will look like. Lord, keep this soul in perfect peace as the mind is stayed on You. Speak that word which only Jesus can speak, Fear not, for I am with you, be not dismayed for I am your God, I will help you. Help this one to cast all care upon You, believing that You care.

Grant clear guidance. By Your Spirit and Your Word, show Your will and make the right path plain. Keep from haste and from obstinacy, and give a submissive heart to do Your will. If it be Your will that these two should walk together in the covenant of marriage, make it plain in holiness and peace. If it be Your will that they should part, give grace to do so without bitterness and to trust Your good purpose. In either way, give peace and security not grounded in circumstances but in Christ, and give rest to the exhausted spirit.

We ask that You would restore wellbeing, lift the sadness, renew strength to the weary, and teach this heart to find rest in doing Your will. Let the blood of Jesus whisper peace within, and let that peace which Christ has purchased be the portion now and in all that is to come. In the name of Jesus our peace, Amen.

We will continue to bear you up before the Lord, that you may be kept in perfect peace and led in His way.