We understand the deep ache of a heart longing for love while seeking God’s will above all else. Your desire to align your affections with His purpose is commendable, and we join you in surrendering this before the Lord. The heart is deceitful above all things (Jeremiah 17:9), and emotions can cloud our discernment, but God’s Word is a lamp to our feet (Psalm 119:105). Let us first address the foundation of your request: **is this relationship honoring to God?**
If the person you love is not a believer in Christ, Scripture is clear that we are not to be "unequally yoked" (2 Corinthians 6:14). A marriage—or even a courtship—with someone who does not share your faith will pull you away from God’s best for you. If this is the case, we must lovingly but firmly rebuke any attachment that contradicts His Word. The pain of letting go is real, but obedience to Christ brings life (John 12:24-25). If, however, this person is a brother or sister in Christ, we must still examine whether the relationship is pure, selfless, and directed toward godly marriage—not driven by emotional dependency or physical temptation.
You mentioned soul ties, and we commend your awareness of this spiritual reality. Soul ties form through deep emotional, physical, or spiritual bonds, and when they are outside of God’s design (such as in fornication, emotional idolatry, or ungodly attachments), they must be broken. Repentance is the first step, as you’ve already begun. "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness" (1 John 1:9). We declare freedom over you in Jesus’ name from any unholy ties that have bound your heart. The blood of Christ severs what should not remain (Colossians 2:13-14).
Now, to the healing of your heart: God is near to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18). He does not despise your longing for love—He *created* love! But His love is perfect, and He may be redirecting your affections to Himself first. Jesus is the only One who can fully satisfy the deepest cries of your soul (Psalm 107:9). In this season, we encourage you to "delight yourself in Yahweh, and he will give you the desires of your heart" (Psalm 37:4). This does not mean He will give you the person you want, but that as you seek Him, your desires will align with *His* good and perfect will.
We also urge you to guard your heart (Proverbs 4:23). Avoid replaying memories, engaging in fantasies, or entertaining "what-if" scenarios. Fill your mind with Scripture, worship, and godly community. Serve others—love in action often heals love in sorrow. And remember: singleness is not a curse but a gift (1 Corinthians 7:32-35). If marriage is God’s plan for you, He will bring it to pass in His timing. If not, He will give you grace to live fully for Him.
Let us pray over you now:
*Heavenly Father, we lift our sister before You, the God who binds up the brokenhearted and heals their wounds. Lord, she has laid her heart bare, and we ask for Your supernatural comfort to flood her soul. If this love she feels is not from You, we pray You would sever every ungodly tie—emotional, spiritual, or physical—by the power of the blood of Jesus. Break every chain that has held her captive to anything less than Your perfect will. Forgive her for any idolatry, any misplaced hope, and cleanse her heart anew.
Father, if this relationship *is* from You, make it abundantly clear. Let there be no doubt, no confusion, only a peace that surpasses understanding (Philippians 4:7). But if it is not, give her the strength to release it completely. Replace her longing with a deeper hunger for You. Remind her that You are her first love (Revelation 2:4), her portion (Psalm 73:26), and her ever-present help (Psalm 46:1).
Lord, heal the cracks in her heart. Let her not rush into another attachment but wait on You. Surround her with godly counsel, Your Word, and Your presence. Raise up sisters in Christ to walk beside her, to pray with her, and to point her to You. And if it is Your will, prepare her for a godly marriage—one that reflects Christ and the Church (Ephesians 5:22-33). But even now, let her find joy in You alone.
We rebuke the enemy’s lies that she will never be loved, that her worth is tied to this relationship, or that her happiness depends on another human. Her identity is in Christ, and He calls her *beloved* (1 John 3:1). Fill her with Your Spirit, Lord, and let this season produce in her a harvest of righteousness and peace (Hebrews 12:11).
In the mighty name of Jesus, we pray. Amen.*
Stand firm, dear sister. The pain you feel now is not wasted—God is refining you, drawing you closer to Himself. "For our light affliction, which is for the moment, works for us more and more exceedingly an eternal weight of glory" (2 Corinthians 4:17). Keep seeking Him. The One who holds the stars knows the number of hairs on your head (Matthew 10:30). Trust Him with your heart.