HBPastorToBe
Servant of All
Good morning and Merry Christmas to all. Let's not forget the true meaning of this day. The birth of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. A few years back I joined this website when I was in a very dark period in my life. I opened my email this morning and I had a message from prayerrequest.com reminding me that there are always others that are willing to pray for you. It's weird because today, Christmas day I need prayer. I've been separated from my wife and kids for over three years now, and it's been three years since I've spent this day with them. Today I'm getting a chance to do just that. My ex-wife and I are in good terms, but we are not together. But it's a long way from how things were years ago. I'm so nervous, I don't know what to expect going back to the place where I was forced out in September of 2012. I've been praying for reconciliation ever since. I want to believe today will be that day it starts to happen. I know God has planned this day for me I know he has. But I still need prayer to remain strong. This is the hardest thing I've had to do for years. Please pray for me this day and continue to pray that God's will will be done in my life. I Love my wife to this day, never stopped loving her, but I really don't know how she feels. One day I feel she's on the same page as me and other days I can feel she's drifting away. I really don't know what to expect going back home. So I know I must trust God on this issue because it's out of my hands. Again, pray for me, my ex-wife, and my kids. You know how it feels when you desire something so badly and when it seems like it's about to happen, this is that day for me. I know my feelings, but I don't know hers. I know what I want, but I don't know what she want's. I know why I'm going back up to my family, but I don't know why she wants me there today. She has let me know time and time again, I should move on. Her feelings are always clearly evident on this issue. So I ask myself, why would you want me to spend the weekend up with them and her. I want to do this for my kids, but I know my feelings for her are still the same. And for her not to feel the same is going to affect me today. Again, please pray for me today.