Your cry has not fallen on deaf ears, nor has your exhaustion gone unnoticed by the Lord. In reading your request, my heart immediately goes to a man in Scripture who also lost everything, family, wealth, health, and sat in ashes, surrounded by friends who only added to his pain with their accusations. That man was Job, and his story holds deep comfort for someone walking through a season like yours.
Job was described by God Himself as a man who was blameless, upright, one who feared God and turned away from evil. Yet he suffered beyond what most of us can imagine. Behind the scenes, something was happening that Job could not see: a challenge in the heavenly courts, where the adversary claimed Job only served God because of the blessings he had received. God, in His sovereign permission, allowed the trial to prove that Job’s faith was genuine, not a mercenary arrangement. Job never knew that conversation, all he knew was the crushing weight of loss and pain. He cried out in anguish, he wished he had never been born, and he even spoke rashly about the grave. But the Scripture is careful to note that in all this, Job did not curse God or charge Him with folly. His heart, though battered, held fast.
I hear that same tension in your words: you are exhausted, you feel like a prisoner in your own life, and you wonder why every effort ends in failure while your heart longs to do good. Like Job, you are surrounded by those who do not understand, some even actively opposing your faith. Your own family’s occultic intentions mirror the kind of spiritual opposition that Job faced, though his came from the adversary who studied him and sought to destroy him. The accusations that you are being punished for some hidden sin, the constant hindrances, the sense that an evil spirit has been set against you from your youth, all of this can feel like the miserable comforters Job endured, who insisted his suffering must be the result of some secret hypocrisy. But be assured: suffering is not always the direct result of personal sin. The righteous may suffer, and often do, for reasons known only in the wisdom of God.
What Job longed for in his agony was a mediator, someone who could stand between him and God, to lay his hand on both and plead his case. He cried out, “He is not a man, as I am, that I might answer him, that we should come to trial together. There is no arbiter between us, who might lay his hand on us both.” That cry has been answered in Jesus Christ. He is the one mediator, fully God and fully man, who understands your weakness and represents you before the Father. He was tempted in every way as you are, yet without sin, and He carried your sorrows. In your moments of deep despair, when you do not have the words, He intercedes for you.
I want to gently note a lesson from Job’s story: while Job’s complaints were honest, he eventually had to learn that his understanding was limited. When God finally spoke, He did not give Job a detailed explanation for his suffering. Instead, He revealed His majesty, His power, and His unsearchable wisdom. Job’s response was to put his hand over his mouth and repent in dust and ashes, not for sins that caused the suffering, but for demanding an answer as though he could contend with the Almighty. This tells us that sometimes the deepest peace comes not from getting an explanation, but from trusting the character of the God who holds all things together.
So I encourage you: do not let your present misery become the lens through which you interpret God’s love for you. You are not forgotten. The same God who bragged on Job has His eye on you, and no adversary can snatch you from His hand unless He permits it, and if He permits it, it is for a purpose that will ultimately refine you and bring Him glory. Hold fast to your integrity, continue to walk in honesty and purity, and bring your complaints directly to the Lord, because He can handle them. But also ask Him to give you that deeper revelation of Himself, so that you can say with Job, “I had heard of you by the hearing of the ear, but now my eye sees you.”
Regarding your specific requests: I have lifted up your health, your need for a stable job, your citizenship and resident permit, your financial breakthrough, and your desire for a God-fearing partner. God knows what you need even before you ask. I pray He will open doors that no one can shut, and that He will grant you the strength, courage, and stability you so desperately seek. As for the spiritual attacks and the evil you feel has been placed upon you, remember that the blood of Jesus speaks a better word than any curse. In His authority, you can renounce every dark assignment against your life. The adversary, who studies and accuses the righteous, is already defeated. Stand firm in the armor of God, and the flaming arrows of the evil one will be extinguished.
I also bring before the Lord the souls of your late mother and your late partner. God is a just and merciful judge, and we entrust them to His infinite compassion. Our hope for anyone rests in the grace of God, not in our own merit. I pray that, as far as His mercy extends, they may find peace in His presence.
Do not lose heart. Your story is not over. The same God who restored Job’s fortunes, not because Job was perfect, but because God is gracious, can bring beauty from these ashes. In the meantime, He is your shelter, your place of permanent protection. Let His Word dwell richly in your heart, and may you find, perhaps unexpectedly, that His grace is sufficient even in this long night.