K
kristie
Guest
Go into this date just in that way also, as a friend. When you can maintain yourself on a friend level, walls that are between you as a couple can come down. This is how my husband and I worked to restoration. It was his idea, that we just go back to the very beginning when we met and be friends again, and the rest would follow just as it did the first time.
He was right, it worked and for the first time in seven years of trying to bring down walls between us...our efforts to do so, they just fell away on their own. We found each other again.
Just some words of advice: No talk of the things that tore down, just a middle ground of friendship and no negative, no pressure, just a safe and pleasant common ground. This will draw him to you, make him feel comfortable around you. Be his buddy, and not just his wife.
That has been one piece of advice my husband has given for standers here. He said to remember what brought you together in the first place and made you fall in love, and go back to there and start over. It works, Especially when you know what things made it go wrong the first the first time and know not to repeat them.
Friendship really is a key component of love, you need one to have the other, and I think my husband is right when he says the love can be there, that is a given, but it is the friendship that gets lost. You love someone but you don't like them. So just go back and develop the friendship and love is just as given as he said.
At the time for me, it seemed like it would be difficult to do, how can you just shuffle it all under a rug kind of thing, but then I found that it was actually very easy, and it was fun as well. We ended up being like two kids just having a good time and slowly moved through that back to the romantic passion. The walls were down and they have never went up again. God bless you and praising our Lord!
Kristie
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