GOING DEEPER IN THE ONLY RELATIONSHIP THAT MATTERS
I have been focusing a lot recently on how I study God’s Word. Do you really study God’s Word or do you treat it like a convenience store, only looking to it when you need a quick pick-me-up?
It can be so easy to have my prayer life become a laundry list of my needs and wants. Instead of asking for God’s will in my life, I find myself asking Him to make my desires His will. I find myself reading my Bible, making sure to find just the right scripture to give me my daily dose of encouragement and then move on with my day.
Is that the way I treat my other relationships? No way! My husband and I make sure to have time alone each day to talk about the kids, work or life without being interrupted by our kids. We carve out time to go out alone, even if it just means an adult-only trip to get groceries. I love the opportunities I get to have only one of my four kids in the van alone. With three teenagers, it seems I am constantly picking someone up from basketball practice or taking one to a church event. That time alone gives me the chance to get to know that child better. When I am alone with a child, I can dig deeper into their life. I can find out what fears they are facing, I can find out what is happening in the lives of their friends (our youth pastor always says, “Show me your friends and I’ll show you your future.â€), I can find out more about them. Relationships don’t happen without investing time.
Why then do we think that the most important relationship in our lives doesn’t require our time? I am guilty of not giving enough time to the relationship that is most important. There is a natural order in our life and Jesus should be at the top of it. Unless that happens, everything else is out of balance.
We need to keep our relationship with Jesus at the top. In order to do that we need to be willing to invest time in that relationship. You may say, “How do I keep Jesus first?†I’m so glad you asked.
Time in His Word – Take time to dig deeper into the wonderful gift of scripture. Sometimes I will read a scripture and say to myself, “What??!!†I don’t understand what that scripture is saying. Recently, our small group at church has been doing a series called Bible Savvy. It is a great series that helps you really understand the Bible. In order to study the Bible properly you would benefit from using the Concordance in the back of your Bible, a Bible Commentary and a great study Bible. You may also benefit from a parallel Bible. Many of you have written and said, “My friend quoted a scripture and said my standing for marriage restoration is wrong.†You can learn how to properly interpret the Bible. You can map out the scriptures.
Read a scripture. What do the notes in your Bible say? Do the notes direct you to another scripture? If so, look that up. Look up key words in your concordance. Then look up that passage in your commentary.
Now you will gain a better understanding of God’s Word and what each scripture is saying to you. Take for example, Luke 1:37 – “For nothing is impossible with God.†Don’t read that verse and shortchange yourself. Those six words come from a passage where God sent an angel to Mary to tell her she would give birth to a son and He will be called, the Son of the Most High. If I were Mary, I would have thought, “Yea, right!†The angel continues to tell Mary that even Elizabeth who was barren was going to have a child. Do you find yourself doubting that your husband or wife will ever change? Do you find yourself thinking,“Maybe this is crazy. I should just give up.†We serve a God who placed a baby in the womb of a barren woman, a God who placed the Son of the Most High in the womb of a virgin…“For nothing is impossible with God!!!!†(Emphasis mine)
Allow the Bible to come alive as you study it each day. I do a devotional group with some girlfriends. Each day we study the same scriptures, read the same devotional and then text each other that we are done and share any insights we had. It serves as accountability as well as learning from others. One may read the passage and be convicted of something completely different than I am. Take advantage of this wonderful tool we have from God – His Word.
All scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness. 2 Timothy 3:16
Time in Prayer – If you ever have the opportunity to speak to my mom, Charlyne, face-to-face I will warn you of the first two questions she will ask.
1. Do you pray for your spouse?
2. Do you pray the Armor of God on yourself and your family each day?
Don’t say I didn’t warn you! She is going to ask. Guess what? The answer to the first question is very often, “Well…..no, I really don’t pray for my spouse.†How would you answer that question? Prayer is such a gift. Please, don’t give up on your spouse and stop praying for him/her. Each morning our staff has devotions and we pray for the many requests we receive via email. We pray for you by name. We pray for those facing court, we pray that the sin your spouse is in that seems so fun will no longer bring that same feeling, we pray that you, a person praying for restoration of your marriage will not get weary. Don’t give up on praying for those around you.
But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does. James 1:6-8
I know you are hurting and these days with a physically absent or emotionally absent spouse are long. I understand the pain that comes when you look at a person you once knew and see a stranger. Spend time with the Lord, refresh that relationship first and then see what He does in your marriage.
God bless you,
Lori Steinkamp Lassen
Rejoice Marriage Ministries, Inc.
I have been focusing a lot recently on how I study God’s Word. Do you really study God’s Word or do you treat it like a convenience store, only looking to it when you need a quick pick-me-up?
It can be so easy to have my prayer life become a laundry list of my needs and wants. Instead of asking for God’s will in my life, I find myself asking Him to make my desires His will. I find myself reading my Bible, making sure to find just the right scripture to give me my daily dose of encouragement and then move on with my day.
Is that the way I treat my other relationships? No way! My husband and I make sure to have time alone each day to talk about the kids, work or life without being interrupted by our kids. We carve out time to go out alone, even if it just means an adult-only trip to get groceries. I love the opportunities I get to have only one of my four kids in the van alone. With three teenagers, it seems I am constantly picking someone up from basketball practice or taking one to a church event. That time alone gives me the chance to get to know that child better. When I am alone with a child, I can dig deeper into their life. I can find out what fears they are facing, I can find out what is happening in the lives of their friends (our youth pastor always says, “Show me your friends and I’ll show you your future.â€), I can find out more about them. Relationships don’t happen without investing time.
Why then do we think that the most important relationship in our lives doesn’t require our time? I am guilty of not giving enough time to the relationship that is most important. There is a natural order in our life and Jesus should be at the top of it. Unless that happens, everything else is out of balance.
We need to keep our relationship with Jesus at the top. In order to do that we need to be willing to invest time in that relationship. You may say, “How do I keep Jesus first?†I’m so glad you asked.
Time in His Word – Take time to dig deeper into the wonderful gift of scripture. Sometimes I will read a scripture and say to myself, “What??!!†I don’t understand what that scripture is saying. Recently, our small group at church has been doing a series called Bible Savvy. It is a great series that helps you really understand the Bible. In order to study the Bible properly you would benefit from using the Concordance in the back of your Bible, a Bible Commentary and a great study Bible. You may also benefit from a parallel Bible. Many of you have written and said, “My friend quoted a scripture and said my standing for marriage restoration is wrong.†You can learn how to properly interpret the Bible. You can map out the scriptures.
Read a scripture. What do the notes in your Bible say? Do the notes direct you to another scripture? If so, look that up. Look up key words in your concordance. Then look up that passage in your commentary.
Now you will gain a better understanding of God’s Word and what each scripture is saying to you. Take for example, Luke 1:37 – “For nothing is impossible with God.†Don’t read that verse and shortchange yourself. Those six words come from a passage where God sent an angel to Mary to tell her she would give birth to a son and He will be called, the Son of the Most High. If I were Mary, I would have thought, “Yea, right!†The angel continues to tell Mary that even Elizabeth who was barren was going to have a child. Do you find yourself doubting that your husband or wife will ever change? Do you find yourself thinking,“Maybe this is crazy. I should just give up.†We serve a God who placed a baby in the womb of a barren woman, a God who placed the Son of the Most High in the womb of a virgin…“For nothing is impossible with God!!!!†(Emphasis mine)
Allow the Bible to come alive as you study it each day. I do a devotional group with some girlfriends. Each day we study the same scriptures, read the same devotional and then text each other that we are done and share any insights we had. It serves as accountability as well as learning from others. One may read the passage and be convicted of something completely different than I am. Take advantage of this wonderful tool we have from God – His Word.
All scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness. 2 Timothy 3:16
Time in Prayer – If you ever have the opportunity to speak to my mom, Charlyne, face-to-face I will warn you of the first two questions she will ask.
1. Do you pray for your spouse?
2. Do you pray the Armor of God on yourself and your family each day?
Don’t say I didn’t warn you! She is going to ask. Guess what? The answer to the first question is very often, “Well…..no, I really don’t pray for my spouse.†How would you answer that question? Prayer is such a gift. Please, don’t give up on your spouse and stop praying for him/her. Each morning our staff has devotions and we pray for the many requests we receive via email. We pray for you by name. We pray for those facing court, we pray that the sin your spouse is in that seems so fun will no longer bring that same feeling, we pray that you, a person praying for restoration of your marriage will not get weary. Don’t give up on praying for those around you.
But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does. James 1:6-8
I know you are hurting and these days with a physically absent or emotionally absent spouse are long. I understand the pain that comes when you look at a person you once knew and see a stranger. Spend time with the Lord, refresh that relationship first and then see what He does in your marriage.
God bless you,
Lori Steinkamp Lassen
Rejoice Marriage Ministries, Inc.
