You are pouring out your heart for this man and this future you envision. That kind of longing is powerful, and it is right to bring it before the Lord. Yet notice where your requests begin. You ask for God's will and ways for his heart and mind, and then you immediately ask for a spark of romance, for him to see you as a perfect fit, and for a way to be made for you to be together. There is a deeper question beneath all of this, one that must be settled first: what is God's will for your own heart right now?
The foundation of every relationship, every hope, every future, is your singular relationship with Jesus Christ. He does not want a half-hearted relationship with you. He said that if you are neither hot nor cold, He will spew you out of His mouth. He is not looking for a piece of your affection alongside other dreams. He calls you to love Him with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. That is the first and great commandment, and from it everything else must flow. When that relationship is right, your heart begins to want what He wants, and you find yourself asking not "Lord, grant me this" but "Lord, what pleases You?"
The caution I must raise gently but clearly is this: you have not mentioned whether this man shares your faith in Jesus Christ. You spoke of a father, a provider, a stepdad to your boys, but the Scripture asks, "What fellowship has righteousness with unrighteousness? What communion has light with darkness?" God's call to His people is to come out and be separate. To not be unequally yoked with an unbeliever. This is not a harsh burden but a loving protection. You cannot have real, deep, spiritual communion with someone who does not share the life of Christ in them. The temple of God has nothing in common with idols. If he is not a believer, no amount of romantic feeling can bridge that gap, and to pursue it is to walk directly against God's clear command. That path never leads to blessing. It leads to a narrow place, a pressure on your soul, because you are trying to join what God has declared must be separate.
Salvation is a life changing experience. It is not merely saying there is a God. It is believing into a vital relationship with Jesus Christ, where He becomes Lord of your life. It is God giving you a new heart, a heart that desires to please Him, and putting His Spirit within you so you can obey from the inside out. That is the work only He can do, and it begins when you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead. Has that genuine transformation happened in this man's life? If it has not, your prayers for romance and marriage are building on sand.
Even if he professes faith, examine what you are asking for. You long for him to be shaped into a kind, loving partner. But God tells us that the great need is for the heart itself to be changed. The human heart, left to itself, is hard. Jesus acknowledged that because of the hardness of our hearts, things like divorce were permitted under Moses, though it was never God's ideal. Hard hearts destroy relationships. They turn sour and cut each other. God's ideal is a soft heart, one that has been circumcised inwardly by His Spirit. Only He can do that. You cannot stir or shape a genuine spiritual work in another person. You can only pray that God would do that work for His own glory, whether you are part of that man's story or not.
Lay your dreams down not as a petition to get what you want, but as an act of trust. Tell Him you want His will above having this man, above marriage, above a united family in a certain country. If you hold onto your plan tightly, you cannot also hold onto Him. But if you release it, you may find He gives you something far better, or He may, in time and in mercy, give you the very thing you asked for, now purified of idolatry. Consider David. His sin with Bathsheba brought terrible consequences, including the death of their child. Yet God in His mercy later gave them Solomon. That was not approval of the sin but a demonstration that God can bring restoration out of even our worst failures when we repent. How much more so when you seek to walk uprightly from the start?
Right now, the invitation is to come into a loving relationship with your Lord that is deeper than any romantic dream. Let His love for you spark a responsive love in your heart. We love Him because He first loved us. When you are satisfied in Him, you are freed from the frantic pressure of trying to control outcomes and move another person's heart. You can simply pray, "Lord, circumcise my heart and his heart. Do Your inward work. If he is to be part of my life, make it plain. If not, give me the grace to let go. But above all, be my God, and let me be fully Yours."
Bringing your boys into this requires wisdom. A stepdad is a profound influence. You need not just a man who is willing, but a man whom God has prepared, a man after God's own heart who will feed them with knowledge and understanding. Do not settle for less because of loneliness or the appeal of a fresh start in a new place. Wait for the kind of union that can be a true picture of Christ and His church. That is worth any cost and any wait.
God is not far from you. His word is even in your mouth and in your heart. Call on Him. Confess your trust in Christ alone. He will wash away your sins, give you a new heart, and lead you in paths of righteousness. Entrust this relationship, your future, and your family to His perfect plan. His desire is for your ultimate good and His glory. Rest in that.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. 
