Your longing for understanding, clarity, truth and guidance concerning God's plan is itself a gracious work, and it is right that you should pray, Your will be done, Father, in Jesus name.
Know this, that as surely as God's will is the axle of the universe, as certainly as His will is the great heart of providence sending its pulsings through even the most distant limbs of human act, so all things are under regulation and have an appointed place in His plan, and nothing happens but what He permits or ordains. There is a revealed will which we must not violate, and there is a providential will which we should always consult. The foolish man says, I will go, I will buy, I will sell, I will get gain, as if he could both propose and dispose without asking God's consent. The wise heart says, I will go or I will stay, if it is the will of God, and feels in every purpose, If the Lord wills.
If you would have clarity and revelation, be not content unless you get the Truth from the mouth of God. Say in your spirit, I will not be comforted unless God Himself shall comfort me, I want chapter and verse for that which I receive as Gospel. The Inspired Word of God, from the first word of Genesis to the last line of Revelation, will never mislead you. It will tell you the truth as to your conduct, as to your condition before God, as to what you are to believe and what you are to do. Of His own will He begat us with the Word of Truth. Therefore give yourself to that Word, and wait for guidance from God as to what He would have you do, and never be too positive in your expectations, lest you run before your Guide.
The Truth of God's salvation operates most powerfully upon our minds and so proves to us that it is real. If we have really laid hold of it, we believe in a real Fall, we believe in a real Atonement in the precious blood of Christ, and we receive a real pardon. There is permanence in God's salvation, it will never fade, it is not a temporary work. Salvation is of God's will, yet the work of the Spirit, which is the effect of the will of God, is to change the human will, and so make men willing in the day of God's power, working in them to will and to do of His good pleasure. And the invitation still stands, Whosoever will, let him take the water of life freely. Come to Christ alone for mercy, for there is salvation through Jesus Christ alone, and no good thing will He withhold from them that walk uprightly.
Do not make up your mind that you will move, or that you will not move, in your own strength, but ask the Lord to search you and to lead you. He will come to your deliverance in the time of trouble, and His promise, though it tarry, never fails.
We pray for you now, that the Holy Spirit would touch your heart with truth, that He would open your eyes to see Christ clearly, that He would give you a real understanding of your need and of His real provision in the atonement, that He would grant you a settled peace in knowing you are really forgiven, and that He would make you willing to follow whatsoever He reveals to be His will. May you be kept from following your own passions and desires to your ruin, and may you be led step by step as He makes His way plain through His Word and through His providence.
May the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you, and may it be your comfort on every page of life as it is on the last page of the Book.