Sweetangel
Account Closed
God I'm so tired of living like this. It's not fair and I try to stay thankful and not be selfish but I am getting so tired of being lazy and unhealthy. I have no sun time Im tired of sleeping during the day. Most of the time the whole day because I have to force my body to stay up all night. I just want to have my normal job back. Days mon-fri no weekends. I have no family time this is the closest I've ever been with my sister and now I cant even spent the weekends there. I used to be there every single weekend spending much needed quality time to make up for lost time. My nephew is my heart and I love him so much and I love to be around him and watch him grow but it's to wear now he is at the stage of being mischevious and I don't want to deal with it when normally it doesn't bother me at all. I pray I have become so close to you I love you Lord and I love my life I just don't want to do this anymore. I look for jobs I send resumes until im blue in the face then I just have to take a break because then I get so disgusted. I guess this is a prayer of complaining and you already know how I feel I just want my life back the more I sit here and go on here at this place the more I lose myself. All I want is a normal day job with a desk and work to myself and the man that I love in my life for eternity. I love him so much I don't know what else to do. I trust you and I know you can make this miracle come true all the way to uniting us but Lord please tell me what more to do because I will do anything. I know all I need is you and I accept that and I have all the faith in the world in you. I just want Robert in my life I need him in my life I can live without him. I don't want to be I can because all I need is you but Lord again I ask please make this happen soon and tell me how because I am about to have to let everything out and I'm so scared that he will run from me once again. Doesn't make any sense because I gave it to you and I trust you and I know we are meant to be but from time to time I get weary and scared and I pray on it and you take it all away and I am so full of life and so happy. Is it the devil is it me? Is it my breakthrough coming? Because Lord I don't know what to do before my heart becomes so blue. I don't want to beg you please because I know you will answer my prayers but give me a sign; let Robert come to me for once let him drop all his pride be a man and realize that I am all the woman he needs and He will never find anyone as good as I am to him. I know you are working on him and I know you are reaching him. If you are needing more time to fix him I understand but let him tell me that. Let Robert get the strength and the emotion to say "I just need a little more time I want to be with you I just need time" I really want to hear that from him. I'm just so tired Lord so tired. My heart feels as though it is barely beating. I pray in the name of the Father, The Son, The Holy Spirit, God, Jesus Christ All That Is Holy Lord Cover me with you Blood and save me from this bring me my miracle . Amen Amen I say Amen
