We hear the deep anguish and despair in your words, and our hearts ache with you. The pain you’re expressing is real, and we want you to know that you are not alone. The feelings of hopelessness, frustration, and even anger toward faith are not uncommon, especially when life feels overwhelming or when the weight of sacrifice seems to yield no fruit. But we must gently yet firmly address some of the statements you’ve made, for they reveal a misunderstanding of God’s character, His promises, and the purpose of faith.
First, let us affirm this: your life has value, purpose, and meaning. The Bible does not waste years—it redeems them. Every moment of struggle, study, or sacrifice is seen by God, and He can use it for His glory and your good, even when it doesn’t feel like it. The apostle Paul wrote, *"And we know that all things work together for good for those who love God, to those who are called according to his purpose"* (Romans 8:28). This does not mean suffering is good, but that God can bring good *out of* suffering for those who trust Him. Your years of work and study are not lost; they are part of your story, and God is writing that story with redemption in mind.
You mention that faith and obedience to Jesus "threatens providence," but this could not be further from the truth. Providence is God’s sovereign care over His creation, and it is *because* of His providence that we can trust Him in the first place. Jesus Himself said, *"Seek first God’s Kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well"* (Matthew 6:33). Obedience to Christ is not a threat to provision—it is the pathway to true peace, purpose, and eternal security. The world’s solutions may promise freedom, but they often lead to deeper bondage. Only in Christ do we find the freedom that lasts.
Your suggestion that we should "change our names to David and receive the blessing" reflects a misunderstanding of what it means to be blessed by God. David was a man after God’s own heart, but his blessing came not from his name but from his repentance, trust, and obedience to the Lord. Changing your name won’t bring blessing—surrendering your heart to God will. The blessing of God is not found in rituals or external changes but in a relationship with Him through Jesus Christ. *"Blessed are those who hear the word of God and keep it!"* (Luke 11:28).
Now, we must address the most serious part of your message: the wish that you had not been born or that you had died today. These words are a cry for help, and we take them seriously. The enemy wants you to believe that your life has no worth, but God says otherwise. *"For you formed my inmost being. You knit me together in my mother’s womb. I will give thanks to you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made"* (Psalm 139:13-14). Your life matters to God, and He has a plan for you, even if you cannot see it right now. If these thoughts persist, we strongly encourage you to reach out to a trusted pastor, counselor, or Christian brother or sister who can walk with you through this darkness. You do not have to carry this burden alone.
We also notice that while you mention Jesus’ name at the end of your message, there is a sense of bitterness or resignation in your words. Jesus is not a distant figure to be thanked out of obligation—He is the Savior who died for you, who rose again, and who offers you life abundantly (John 10:10). If you have not fully surrendered your life to Him, we urge you to do so today. Salvation is not found in religious rituals, good works, or even years of study—it is found in repenting of sin and placing your trust in Jesus Christ alone. *"For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, that no one would boast"* (Ephesians 2:8-9). If you have already trusted in Him, we encourage you to cling to Him afresh, for He is faithful even when we are not.
Finally, let us pray for you with the love and compassion of Christ:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, lifting up our brother who is in deep pain. Lord, You see his struggles, his questions, and his despair. We ask that You would meet him in this moment, that You would reveal Yourself to him as the God who sees, who hears, and who cares. Father, we rebuke the lies of the enemy that tell him his life has no value or that his years have been wasted. Remind him of Your promise that all things work together for good for those who love You. Break the chains of hopelessness, Lord, and replace them with Your peace that surpasses all understanding.
We pray for healing in his heart and mind. If there is bitterness toward You, soften his heart to receive Your love anew. If there is guilt or shame, remind him that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1). If he is feeling alone, surround him with Your presence and with godly believers who can walk alongside him. Father, we ask that You would give him a fresh revelation of Your goodness, Your faithfulness, and Your plans for his life. Help him to see that his story is not over—it is being written by Your hand, and You are not done with him yet.
Lord, we also pray for protection over his mind. Guard him from thoughts of self-harm or despair. Fill him with Your hope, which is an anchor for the soul (Hebrews 6:19). Remind him that You are close to the brokenhearted and save those who are crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18). Give him the strength to reach out to others for help, and surround him with people who will point him back to You.
We thank You, Jesus, for Your sacrifice on the cross, which made a way for our brother to be reconciled to God. We thank You for Your resurrection, which gives us hope for eternal life. We ask that You would draw him closer to You, that he would know You not just as a historical figure but as his Savior, his Friend, and his Redeemer. May he experience Your peace, Your providence, and Your progress in ways that are undeniable.
We pray all of this in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, the name above all names, the only name by which we can be saved. Amen.
To our brother reading this: You are loved. You are seen. You are not forgotten. The same God who parted the Red Sea, who raised Jesus from the dead, and who holds the stars in place is holding onto you. Do not give up. Reach out to someone today—a pastor, a friend, a counselor—and let them help you carry this burden. The Lord is near, and He is fighting for you. *"The Lord is my light and my salvation—whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life—of whom shall I be afraid?"* (Psalm 27:1). Hold onto that promise. We are praying for you, and we believe that God is at work even now.