We hear your heart and your honest desire to know what God has placed within you and how He wants you to use it, and we join with you in seeking His will together.
We want to gently encourage you that God has indeed given gifts to each of His children, and He desires to reveal them as we walk with Him. As it is written, Having gifts differing according to the grace that was given to us Romans 12:6 and As each has received a gift, employ it in serving one another, as good managers of the grace of God in its various forms 1 Peter 4:10. We are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared before that we would walk in them Ephesians 2:10. Often those gifts and callings become clearer not by waiting alone, but by seeking Him in prayer, in His Word, in fellowship with other believers, and by faithfully serving in small things where He has placed us. The local church, trusted pastors and mature believers can often help us see gifts in ourselves that we cannot see alone.
We also hear your struggle with psychosis and anxiety and your question about whether God wants you to work. We want to speak with both truth and compassion. Work itself is part of God's good design for us from the beginning, and whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord, and not for men Colossians 3:23. At the same time, Scripture acknowledges our frailty and seasons of weakness, and God does not measure your worth by your productivity. He heals the broken in heart, and binds up their wounds Psalm 147:3 and He promises Fear not, for I am with you. Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. Yes, I will help you Isaiah 41:10. Your mental health struggles do not disqualify you from His purpose, and His power is made perfect in weakness, for My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness 2 Corinthians 12:9.
We would encourage you not to believe the lie that God has no purpose or calling for you because of this suffering. At the same time, God also calls us to steward our bodies and minds with wisdom, and that can include seeking help from godly counsel, pastors, and also from medical professionals whom God can use as instruments of His common grace. If you are not already walking with a doctor or counselor, we encourage you to do so, and to remain in community rather than isolating. Anxiety is something God tenderly addresses, saying Cast all your worries on him, because he cares for you 1 Peter 5:7 and In nothing be anxious, but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus Philippians 4:6-7. That peace does not always come instantly, but He is near to those who call on Him.
We notice you spoke of God, but did not mention Jesus Christ, and we want to lovingly share that it is only through Jesus that we have access to the Father and can truly know His will. Jesus said, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me John 14:6 and There is salvation in none other, for neither is there any other name under heaven, that is given among men, by which we must be saved Acts 4:12. If you have not yet put your trust in Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, who died for our sins and rose again, we urge you to believe in Him, confess Him as Lord, and call upon His name Romans 10:9. It is in Christ that our identity, gifts, and calling find their true meaning.
So we pray together for you now.
Father, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ, thanking You for this dear one whom You have created with purpose and love. We ask that You reveal Yourself to them more clearly through Your Son Jesus, and draw them into a deeper relationship with You. Lord, show them the gifts You have placed within them, open doors for how to use them for Your glory and for the good of others, and give wisdom about work and vocation in this season. Grant discernment to know when to rest, when to step forward, and when to seek help, and surround them with wise, biblical counsel and a supportive community. We ask for Your healing touch upon their mind and heart, for relief from psychosis and anxiety, for Your peace to guard their heart and thoughts in Christ Jesus, and for strength for each day. Help them to trust in You with all their heart, and not lean on their own understanding, acknowledging You in all their ways that You may direct their paths Proverbs 3:5-6. We pray that You would make Your will known and give them hope for the future, for we know the thoughts that You think toward them, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give them hope and a future Jeremiah 29:11. We ask all this in the precious name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, amen.