GET AWAY FROM ME

[Anonymous]

Someone close to me keeps pressuring me to meet a man I don't like and to see him as a future husband.

But I NEVER WANT TO BE HIS WIFE. Please pray that I won't be forced to see him or speak to him in any way before I've had a chance to spend quality time with the man of my choice.

This person tells me that the man who ghosted me regrets it and is pinning his hopes on this meeting. But he ignores the fact that I have feelings too and is trampling on them to satisfy what this man wants. I'm tired of having to defend myself, and he won't leave me alone. I told him I refuse to talk to that man until l've seen the one I care about (to protect myselt), and he systematically interferes and prevents me from doing so. Because he doesn't want to break his heart and wants me to be with him at all costs, even if it means breaking my own heart.
That person keeps pressuring me by telling that I will carry a child from that man and I DONT WANT TO. I don’t want any child from that man and I d’rather keep him away from me.

I love who I love, and I don't love who I don't love. I don't hate the first guy, but I refuse to spend my life with him; I don't want him to touch my body, BECAUSE I DON'T LOVE HIM. I love the second one, but I feel like I've never been given a real chance to be with him, to really get to know him. People talk to me about free will, but I don't experience it, because I'm being prevented from choosing the one I love.

He tells me that he'll keep fighting for me to be in a relationship with the first one.

My answer is that I’ll never stop fighting. If I stay silent it is that I am dead.

And I don't know who to talk to about this without sounding crazy.

 

[Articles]

We hear your cry and we stand with you in this painful place, and we want you to know you are not crazy for feeling this way. The Lord sees how tired you are of defending yourself and how deeply your heart has been trampled by someone who should be protecting your dignity. He hears you when you say you feel unheard and prevented from choosing freely, and He draws near to those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18 says Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit. Psalm 46:1 says God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.

What is being done to you is not right and we rebuke it in love. No one has the right to pressure you, manipulate you, or force you into a relationship or marriage you do not want. Scripture is clear that a woman is free to marry whom she wants, only in the Lord. 1 Corinthians 7:39 says A wife is bound by law for as long as her husband lives, but if the husband is dead, she is free to be married to whomever she desires, only in the Lord. That freedom is God given, and forced love is not love at all. The person telling you that you will carry a child from a man you do not love and do not want is speaking presumptuously and manipulatively over your life. Children are a gift from God within the covenant of marriage between a man and a woman, and no one can prophesy or decree such a thing over your body against your will. We rebuke that controlling spirit and that false declaration. Galatians 5:1 says Stand firm therefore in the liberty by which Christ has made us free, and do not be entangled again with a yoke of bondage. Your free will matters to God, and He does not force you to love someone you do not love.

You are absolutely right to guard your body and to say you do not want this man to touch you because you do not love him. Your body is not to be used to satisfy what another man wants. 1 Corinthians 6:18-19 says Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God. You are not your own. Sex before or outside marriage is fornication, and even within marriage it must be given freely in love, never taken by pressure or coercion. To keep a man away from your body when you do not love him and are not married to him is holy and wise, and we affirm your resolve to protect yourself.

We also hear your heart for the man you do care about, the one you have not been given a real chance to know. We understand that longing to have quality time to really get to know him and to discern if this could be a godly marriage. We encourage you that if you pursue getting to know him, let it be as courtship with the goal of marriage to another Christian believer, not as a casual partnership or relationship that leads to compromise. 2 Corinthians 6:14 says Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship has righteousness and iniquity. Or what fellowship has light with darkness. Guard your heart in that process as well, Proverbs 4:23 says Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it is the wellspring of life, and keep that time pure, accountable, and in the light with wise counsel present, not isolated. Forgiveness for the man who ghosted you does not mean obligation to marry him. You can forgive and still say no, and that no must be respected.

This person who says he will keep fighting for you to be with the first man is acting against your good, even if he thinks he is helping. We pray God will intervene and cause him to stop interfering and to respect your boundaries. Isaiah 41:10 says Do not be afraid, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. Yes, I will help you. Yes, I will uphold you with the right hand of my righteousness. We encourage you to set clear, firm boundaries in love, to speak the truth without apology, and to bring in safe, godly counsel, a pastor, a mature believing woman, or family who will stand with you and help you be heard, so you are not alone in having to fight.

We noticed your request did not mention the name of Jesus Christ, and we want to share gently that it is only through Him that we have access to God and true peace. John 14:6 says Jesus said to him, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me. Acts 4:12 says There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved. If you have not already, we encourage you to put your trust in Jesus, that He died for your sins and rose again, and to call on His name. Romans 10:9 says that if you will confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. He is the one who can defend you when you feel defenseless.

We pray together now for you.

Father, in the name of Jesus Christ we lift this precious daughter to You. We thank You that You see her, You know her feelings, and You honor her free will. We ask You to place a hedge of protection around her, to silence every pressuring voice and every manipulative word spoken over her body and her future. Lord, convict the heart of the one who keeps interfering and cause him to turn away from controlling her and to respect her no. Give her strength to stand firm, wisdom to set boundaries, and peace that guards her heart. We ask that You make a way for her to have safe, pure, and honest time to discern the man she cares about, if it is Your will, and that both would seek You first and pursue marriage only in a way that honors You. If that man is not Your best for her, make it clear and heal her heart. Heal the wound of being ghosted and trampled, and remind her she is deeply loved and not forgotten. We pray she will know how much You love her and that she will walk in the liberty Christ gives. We ask all this in the mighty name of Jesus, our only hope and Savior. Amen.

We encourage you to keep bringing this to the Lord in prayer, to document your boundaries clearly, and to not meet or speak with the man you do not want until you have had wise counsel and peace from God, and never alone or under pressure. Keep fighting in prayer and truth, not in your own strength alone, but with God upholding you. 1 Peter 5:7 says casting all your worries on him, because he cares for you. You are not alone, you are not crazy, and your voice matters to God and it should matter to those around you.

 

[hostadmin]

We hear how exhausting this has been for you, having to defend your own heart over and over to someone close to you. Wanting to be heard and to have your no respected does not make you sound crazy at all. It makes sense you feel worn down and cornered when your feelings are being brushed aside and your choices are being pressured.

What you described about not wanting this man to touch you or to be seen as your future husband, and wanting space to get to know the person you do care about, matters. Your body, your time, your future, and your ability to choose are yours to steward. Being connected to someone, even someone close, does not mean you lose the freedom to say what you need to say. A clear no is enough, you do not have to keep justifying it.

When pressure is ongoing it can help to have one steady support outside that dynamic. Is there one safe person you trust, a pastor, counselor, or mature friend, that you could confide in fully this week? It can also help to decide ahead of time on a simple boundary phrase to use and then step away, like I have said I will not meet or talk with him and I am not going to discuss it further, and to limit conversations that keep circling back to it. If you ever feel unsafe, please reach out right away to a trusted person or local support.

Father, we lift this dear sister to You. You see her weariness and the pressure she is under. Guard her heart and her body, give her wisdom and courage, and surround her with safe people who will listen well and protect her dignity. Lead her in Your peace and direction. In Jesus' name, Amen.

 

[Hiaren]

I pray for this in Jesus name.Amen

 

[Spurgeon]

Your cry has been heard and your sorrow has been weighed, and you are not crazy to feel as you do when your own heart and conscience are being pressed and your voice seems to be unheard.

It is a grievous thing to be urged toward a union which your soul does not choose. Marriage, as Scripture sets it forth, is likened to the love of Christ for His spouse, and that love is free and willing and tender. As it has been said among us, we would not ourselves like to be married to one whom we had not chosen, and the Lord Himself would have His bride choose Him freely. A covenant of one man and one woman for life cannot be forced upon an unwilling heart, and it ought never to be. No one has leave from God to trample upon your feelings or to demand that your body be given where your heart and vows have not gone. The Lord who made you knows your frame, and He sees when you are wearied with having to defend yourself again and again.

We hear also your distress at being told you must bear a child by a man you do not love and do not wish to be touched by. Within the holy ethic of Scripture, the gift of children and the union of bodies belong within the covenant of marriage, and never should they be coerced or compelled outside of it or against your will. To be pressured in this way is not love, and it is not the way of Christ, who nourishes and cherishes and shields those with whom He enters into union, and who lays down His life rather than breaks the heart of His beloved.

There is a release which the Lord gives. Under the old law the bond servant at the end of his years was to be sent away freely, and it was not to be thought a hardship to let him go. How much more does the Lord desire that His people should not be held in cruel bondage by the will of another. Grace alone brings real freedom to the soul, and where that freedom comes no form of bondage can rightly make a person a slave. Your free will before God is real, and your choice in so weighty a matter as marriage must be free, sober, and sought in the fear of the Lord.

Let us pray for you now.

O Lord our God, You who seek the wandering and hear the brokenhearted, look upon this Your child who feels pressed on every side. Grant her protection from coercion and from every hand that would force her to see or speak with one whom she has plainly refused. Put a restraint upon the one who presses her, and turn his persistence into forbearance and respect. Keep her body and her future safe from all that would violate her conscience and her purity. Give her clarity and quietness of spirit, and lead her not by fear or by pressure but by Your wisdom. If it be Your will that she should come to know more fully the one she cares for, let it be in a way that is holy and pure and guarded, under godly counsel, without haste and without impurity, and only as it would be pleasing to You and in keeping with a lifelong covenant of marriage as You have ordained. Above all, draw her to Christ Himself, that she may know the love of the true Husband of His people, who never forces and never forsakes, who calls and does not compel, and who gives rest to the weary. Grant her strength to endure this trial with long endurance, and raise up for her faithful friends and shepherds in Your church to whom she can speak openly and be believed and helped. Let her know that she is not alone, for You are near to those who call upon You in truth.

Take heart and do not suffer this alone. Seek out a mature and godly woman, a pastor, or a trusted counselor in a Bible believing church who can stand with you, hear you fully, and help you set needful boundaries. Keep your walk chaste and above reproach, not living together nor giving what belongs only to marriage, but seeking the Lord's will with patience and prayer. If you ever feel unsafe or that you may be harmed, or if that thought that silence would mean death grows heavy upon you, turn at once to one near you for help and let them stay with you.

You have said you will keep fighting, and we urge you to fight in the strength of the Lord, with truth and gentleness and firmness, looking to Him who has loosed our bonds that we might be bound to Him forever. He has not forgotten you, and He will not leave you to be carried away against your will.

 

[usha rani]

Praying in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[The Encourager]

May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. God is so in love with you. Be Encouraged!

Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do.

God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net

Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body

Healed Spirit Soul And Body

be-an-encourager.blogspot.com

 

[Jonathan_M]

Praying in Jesus Name. Amen.