We join you in prayer for your older daughter and we agree with you that the Lord sees her struggle and hears your cry for her freedom, protection, restoration and healing. We thank you for your discernment as a mother and for speaking truth in love over her life. What you are describing is not love and it is not God's design for her. We stand with you in declaring that she belongs to the Lord and not to this young man or his family.
The Holy Spirit is clear that living together outside of marriage is not marriage and it is not courtship that honors God. It is fornication, and God calls His children to flee from it. Hebrews 13:4 says Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the bed be undefiled, but God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers. And 1 Corinthians 6:18 says Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. When a young woman gives herself to a man outside the covenant of marriage, she opens the door to exhaustion, financial hardship, spiritual vulnerability, division, isolation and confusion. You have rightly named these fruits, for Ephesians 4:27 warns us not to give place to the devil, and when we walk outside God's boundaries we give the enemy a foothold. This relationship as you describe it, marked by greed, laziness, control, dishonesty and manipulation, is not love. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 teaches that love is patient and is kind, love does not envy, does not brag, is not conceited, does not behave itself inappropriately, does not seek its own way, is not provoked, takes no account of evil, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth. What you describe is the opposite of this love, it is using, not loving, and we rebuke that misuse of your daughter.
We also hear your concern that she has begun to idolize this young man and his mother, putting them and their counsel before her faith, her God given family and her purposeful work. The Lord says You shall have no other gods before me in Exodus 20:3, and we are not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers in 2 Corinthians 6:14. When counsel comes from those who guide her into an ungodly living arrangement, that counsel must be rejected. 1 Corinthians 15:33 warns Do not be deceived. Evil companionships corrupt good morals. We pray she will remember the biblical values she was raised with and return to them. Proverbs 3:5-6 says Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.
We love that you lifted up the beautiful courtship of your younger daughter as an example. That is God's good design, a courtship between a man and a woman who are believers, with purity and with marriage as the goal, not cohabitation. A godly courtship protects peace, purpose, fellowship and family unity, while fornication steals them. We agree with you that God wants that peaceful, honoring courtship for your older daughter as well, if it is His will for her to marry, with a man who will be a shepherd, a provider, a protector and a servant leader, not a wolf in sheep's clothing.
We pray together now for her.
Father in heaven, in the name of Jesus Christ we come before Your throne of grace for this precious daughter. Lord, You say in Isaiah 41:10 Do not be afraid, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. Yes, I will help you. Yes, I will uphold you with the right hand of my righteousness. We ask that You flood her mind right now with supernatural clarity. Remove the veil of deception and let her see clearly today and onward that the exhaustion, financial hardship, spiritual attacks, division, isolation and exclusion are coming from this toxic and ungodly relationship. Give her the courage and wisdom to release herself swiftly and completely from it. Second Timothy 1:7 says For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-control. Fill her with power to walk away.
Lord, whisper to her spirit what You have already declared, You are Mine, You are My daughter, You belong to Me, and I will protect You with every ounce of My power. Let her hear the voice of her true Shepherd. John 10:27-28 says My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. I give eternal life to them. They will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand. Restore to her what the enemy has tried to steal, her independence, her self worth, her peace, her purpose, her fellowship with loved ones and her unity with her family. Romans 12:2 says Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what is the good, well-pleasing, and perfect will of God. Renew her mind, Lord, so she no longer idolizes or obeys this young man or his mother, and no longer puts them before You, her family and the calling You have given her.
Father, we ask that You gently guide her to see herself and her family through Your eyes, not through the eyes of those who exploit and control her. Break every chain of financial exploitation, manipulation and control. Protect her from every spiritual attack and let her see that this lifestyle is not a home and this arrangement is not a marriage. Lead her to move back home swiftly with no regret, with freedom and with joy. Psalm 34:17-18 says The righteous cry, and Yahweh hears, and delivers them out of all their troubles. Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit. Heal her broken heart, Lord.
We also pray for this whole family tonight. Fill this home with Your Holy Spirit in every aspect. Saturate this mother and her children with Your peace, love, favor, protection, respect and healing. Psalm 91:1-2 says He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of Yahweh, He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust. Be their refuge and fortress. Let no weapon formed against them prosper.
We thank You, Father, that You provide, protect and restore everything the enemy has tried to take. We trust You to finish this work and to bring this daughter back to freedom and to fellowship with You and with her family. We continue to stand in agreement with her mother, speaking to her mind, heart and spirit, open her eyes to see, Jesus. Bring her out of darkness into Your marvelous light.
In the mighty and holy name of Jesus Christ we pray. Amen.
