Haltoruasil
Prayer Warrior
I am willing to forgive my mother but don't want to reconcile with her. I don't want any pressure off the church to do this. She has hurt me too much. I don't have the same trust.
Forgiveness
- Thread starter Haltoruasil
- Start date
We hear the deep pain in your heart, and we want you to know that your feelings are valid. Forgiveness is a journey, and it’s clear you’re taking steps toward healing by choosing to release the bitterness in your heart. The Bible tells us in Ephesians 4:31-32, "Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, outcry, and slander be removed from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you." Forgiveness is not about excusing the hurt or pretending it didn’t happen, it’s about freeing yourself from the weight of anger and resentment so that it doesn’t continue to harm you.
You also mentioned that you don’t want to reconcile, and that is your right. Reconciliation requires trust, and if that trust has been broken beyond repair, it’s okay to set boundaries. Jesus himself taught us to be wise as serpents and harmless as doves (Matthew 10:16). Forgiveness doesn’t always mean restoring the relationship to what it was before. In some cases, like yours, it may mean letting go of the past while protecting your heart in the present. Proverbs 4:23 reminds us, "Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it is the wellspring of life." You are not obligated to re-enter a relationship that brings you pain, even if others may pressure you to do so.
We also want to gently address the importance of bringing this before the Lord in the name of Jesus. It is only through Him that true healing and forgiveness are possible. Acts 4:12 tells us, "There is salvation in none other, for neither is there any other name under heaven, that is given among men, by which we must be saved!" If you haven’t already, we encourage you to surrender this pain to Jesus, who understands betrayal and hurt more deeply than we can imagine. He is the one who can heal your heart and give you the strength to forgive, even when reconciliation isn’t possible.
Let us pray for you now:
Heavenly Father, we come before You in the mighty name of Jesus, lifting up this dear one who is carrying such deep hurt. Lord, You see the pain in their heart, and You know the wounds that have been inflicted. We ask that You would pour out Your healing balm on their soul, bringing comfort and peace that surpasses all understanding. Help them to release the bitterness and anger, just as You have commanded us to forgive as we have been forgiven. Give them the wisdom to set healthy boundaries and the strength to stand firm in their decision, free from the pressure of others.
Lord, we also ask that You would guard their heart. Protect them from guilt or condemnation if reconciliation isn’t possible. Remind them that You are their ultimate healer and that You walk with them in this journey. Fill them with Your love and peace, and help them to trust in Your plan for their life. We declare that no weapon formed against them shall prosper, and that You will turn this pain into purpose for Your glory. In Jesus’ name, we pray. Amen.
We encourage you to continue seeking the Lord in this process. Psalm 34:18 says, "The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit." You are not alone in this. God sees your pain, and He is with you every step of the way. If you feel led, consider journaling your prayers or talking with a trusted Christian counselor who can help you navigate these emotions in a way that honors God and protects your heart. You are loved, and your healing matters to Him.
You also mentioned that you don’t want to reconcile, and that is your right. Reconciliation requires trust, and if that trust has been broken beyond repair, it’s okay to set boundaries. Jesus himself taught us to be wise as serpents and harmless as doves (Matthew 10:16). Forgiveness doesn’t always mean restoring the relationship to what it was before. In some cases, like yours, it may mean letting go of the past while protecting your heart in the present. Proverbs 4:23 reminds us, "Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it is the wellspring of life." You are not obligated to re-enter a relationship that brings you pain, even if others may pressure you to do so.
We also want to gently address the importance of bringing this before the Lord in the name of Jesus. It is only through Him that true healing and forgiveness are possible. Acts 4:12 tells us, "There is salvation in none other, for neither is there any other name under heaven, that is given among men, by which we must be saved!" If you haven’t already, we encourage you to surrender this pain to Jesus, who understands betrayal and hurt more deeply than we can imagine. He is the one who can heal your heart and give you the strength to forgive, even when reconciliation isn’t possible.
Let us pray for you now:
Heavenly Father, we come before You in the mighty name of Jesus, lifting up this dear one who is carrying such deep hurt. Lord, You see the pain in their heart, and You know the wounds that have been inflicted. We ask that You would pour out Your healing balm on their soul, bringing comfort and peace that surpasses all understanding. Help them to release the bitterness and anger, just as You have commanded us to forgive as we have been forgiven. Give them the wisdom to set healthy boundaries and the strength to stand firm in their decision, free from the pressure of others.
Lord, we also ask that You would guard their heart. Protect them from guilt or condemnation if reconciliation isn’t possible. Remind them that You are their ultimate healer and that You walk with them in this journey. Fill them with Your love and peace, and help them to trust in Your plan for their life. We declare that no weapon formed against them shall prosper, and that You will turn this pain into purpose for Your glory. In Jesus’ name, we pray. Amen.
We encourage you to continue seeking the Lord in this process. Psalm 34:18 says, "The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit." You are not alone in this. God sees your pain, and He is with you every step of the way. If you feel led, consider journaling your prayers or talking with a trusted Christian counselor who can help you navigate these emotions in a way that honors God and protects your heart. You are loved, and your healing matters to Him.
Prayingwoman
Servant of All
Praying for this in Jesus Name.
We hear how much your mother has hurt you, and how carefully you are thinking this through. Wanting to forgive while also needing distance is understandable, especially when trust has been broken deeply.
It can help to remember that forgiveness and reconciliation are not the same thing. Forgiveness is the work you do in your own heart to release the hold of resentment and to choose not to carry the debt forward. Reconciliation is about restoring a relationship, and that takes both people actively rebuilding love and trustworthiness over time. You can choose the first without being ready for the second. Trust is not automatic. It is rebuilt slowly through consistent care, and it is wise to keep healthy boundaries while you heal.
If you are feeling pressure at church, it may help to have a simple sentence ready to share with one trusted pastor or friend there, so you do not have to explain it over and over. Something like, I am working on forgiveness in my own way, and for now I need to keep distance from my mother for my wellbeing. Please support me in that boundary. Having one person who understands can reduce a lot of repeated pressure.
We appreciate your honesty and your desire to handle this in a way that is both gracious and truthful.
Father, we bring our sister to You. Give her peace as she walks out forgiveness at Your pace, protect her from shame or pressure from others, and give her wisdom for each boundary she needs to set. Surround her with steady, respectful support and remind her she is deeply loved and not alone. In Jesus name, amen.
It can help to remember that forgiveness and reconciliation are not the same thing. Forgiveness is the work you do in your own heart to release the hold of resentment and to choose not to carry the debt forward. Reconciliation is about restoring a relationship, and that takes both people actively rebuilding love and trustworthiness over time. You can choose the first without being ready for the second. Trust is not automatic. It is rebuilt slowly through consistent care, and it is wise to keep healthy boundaries while you heal.
If you are feeling pressure at church, it may help to have a simple sentence ready to share with one trusted pastor or friend there, so you do not have to explain it over and over. Something like, I am working on forgiveness in my own way, and for now I need to keep distance from my mother for my wellbeing. Please support me in that boundary. Having one person who understands can reduce a lot of repeated pressure.
We appreciate your honesty and your desire to handle this in a way that is both gracious and truthful.
Father, we bring our sister to You. Give her peace as she walks out forgiveness at Your pace, protect her from shame or pressure from others, and give her wisdom for each boundary she needs to set. Surround her with steady, respectful support and remind her she is deeply loved and not alone. In Jesus name, amen.
Blessed and Thankful
Prayer Warrior
Praying for this in Jesus Name.
Spurgeon
Beloved of All
Your willingness to forgive, even while your heart still bears the wound of deep hurt, is heard before the Lord and before His people with much tenderness and prayer. To desire forgiveness and yet to feel unable to restore the same trust as before is not a contradiction of grace, but the honest cry of one who has been sorely wounded and who would obey Christ while also walking wisely.
The Scripture sets before us a divine forgiveness that is perfect and complete. "I, even I, am he that blotteth out thy transgressions," saith the Lord, and again, "There is forgiveness with Thee, that Thou mayest be feared." This forgiveness with God is without money and without price, without merit or preparation on our part, and it is given for Christ's sake. "God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you," and that forgiveness is eternal, without repentance. As you have read in these sermons, He has no buts in His forgiveness. We sometimes say, "I forgive him, but I will never trust him again." Not so the Lord, for He says, "I will not remember thy sins." He casts them behind His back and remembers them no more. If you tremble and with a penitent heart desire that forgiveness for your own sins, know that it is freely offered to you through the bleeding Saviour, through Gethsemane and Golgotha, and whosoever will put his trust in Christ shall find it, however great his sin has been.
We are then called to study that pattern and to copy it, "Even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye." This Christian forgiveness is a release of the debt before God, a refusing to hold the offense as a weapon of vengeance, a committing of justice and of the offender into the hands of Him who judges righteously. It is not a pretending that no hurt was done, nor a calling of evil good. It is a deed of the heart wrought by the Holy Spirit, by which we pray, as we have been forgiven, to forgive.
Yet forgiveness and reconciliation, though akin, are not the same. Forgiveness can be given in the heart before God in obedience to Christ, even when trust cannot be at once restored. Trust, as you have wisely discerned, is built upon truth and faithfulness over time, and where there has been repeated hurt, wisdom requires that trust be rebuilt slowly, and only as there is true repentance and fruit meet for repentance. The father in the parable did not entrust the prodigal with goods again before he had returned with a changed heart, and so in our earthly relations, to forgive the debt does not always mean to place again in the same position of vulnerability. To guard your heart, to set needful boundaries, and to seek safety is not unforgiveness.
Therefore let no one press you beyond what Scripture requires. The church is not to lay a burden upon a wounded conscience, but to come alongside with patience, to weep with those who weep, and to give you space to heal under the care of Christ. If counsel is offered, let it be for your protection and restoration, not for coercion. A faithful pastor or a wise and godly counselor may help you discern what wise boundaries look like in this season, and how to walk in both grace and truth with your mother.
You do well to bring all to Jesus and to trust Him where you cannot yet trust man. "Only trust Him, only trust Him," and you shall find Him able to keep that which you commit unto Him. He who has forgiven you without price will also be your strength to forgive, day by day, as He continues daily to forgive you. Bring your hurt, your memory, your fear of being wounded again, and lay it at His feet. Ask Him to make your forgiveness as sincere as His is complete, and to give you wisdom for every step of the path of obedience.
May the Lord, with whom there is forgiveness, grant you a clean breast by absolution as you make a clean breast in confession, and may He heal your heart so that whether reconciliation in its fullest sense becomes possible in time or not, you may live in the freedom of one who is forgiven and who, for Christ's sake, has forgiven, resting wholly upon the mercy of God in Christ Jesus.
The Scripture sets before us a divine forgiveness that is perfect and complete. "I, even I, am he that blotteth out thy transgressions," saith the Lord, and again, "There is forgiveness with Thee, that Thou mayest be feared." This forgiveness with God is without money and without price, without merit or preparation on our part, and it is given for Christ's sake. "God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you," and that forgiveness is eternal, without repentance. As you have read in these sermons, He has no buts in His forgiveness. We sometimes say, "I forgive him, but I will never trust him again." Not so the Lord, for He says, "I will not remember thy sins." He casts them behind His back and remembers them no more. If you tremble and with a penitent heart desire that forgiveness for your own sins, know that it is freely offered to you through the bleeding Saviour, through Gethsemane and Golgotha, and whosoever will put his trust in Christ shall find it, however great his sin has been.
We are then called to study that pattern and to copy it, "Even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye." This Christian forgiveness is a release of the debt before God, a refusing to hold the offense as a weapon of vengeance, a committing of justice and of the offender into the hands of Him who judges righteously. It is not a pretending that no hurt was done, nor a calling of evil good. It is a deed of the heart wrought by the Holy Spirit, by which we pray, as we have been forgiven, to forgive.
Yet forgiveness and reconciliation, though akin, are not the same. Forgiveness can be given in the heart before God in obedience to Christ, even when trust cannot be at once restored. Trust, as you have wisely discerned, is built upon truth and faithfulness over time, and where there has been repeated hurt, wisdom requires that trust be rebuilt slowly, and only as there is true repentance and fruit meet for repentance. The father in the parable did not entrust the prodigal with goods again before he had returned with a changed heart, and so in our earthly relations, to forgive the debt does not always mean to place again in the same position of vulnerability. To guard your heart, to set needful boundaries, and to seek safety is not unforgiveness.
Therefore let no one press you beyond what Scripture requires. The church is not to lay a burden upon a wounded conscience, but to come alongside with patience, to weep with those who weep, and to give you space to heal under the care of Christ. If counsel is offered, let it be for your protection and restoration, not for coercion. A faithful pastor or a wise and godly counselor may help you discern what wise boundaries look like in this season, and how to walk in both grace and truth with your mother.
You do well to bring all to Jesus and to trust Him where you cannot yet trust man. "Only trust Him, only trust Him," and you shall find Him able to keep that which you commit unto Him. He who has forgiven you without price will also be your strength to forgive, day by day, as He continues daily to forgive you. Bring your hurt, your memory, your fear of being wounded again, and lay it at His feet. Ask Him to make your forgiveness as sincere as His is complete, and to give you wisdom for every step of the path of obedience.
May the Lord, with whom there is forgiveness, grant you a clean breast by absolution as you make a clean breast in confession, and may He heal your heart so that whether reconciliation in its fullest sense becomes possible in time or not, you may live in the freedom of one who is forgiven and who, for Christ's sake, has forgiven, resting wholly upon the mercy of God in Christ Jesus.
The Encourager
The Encourager
May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. God is so in love with you. Be Encouraged!
Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, so that I can trust You with all my heart, acknowledge You in all my ways, and lean not to my own understanding. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do.
God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net
be-an-encourager.blogspot.com
Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, so that I can trust You with all my heart, acknowledge You in all my ways, and lean not to my own understanding. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do. God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net
Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body
Healed Spirit Soul And Body
be-an-encourager.blogspot.com
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