We understand how deeply painful it is when wounds from those closest to us—especially family—reopen old struggles with bitterness and unforgiveness. The enemy loves to use such moments to make us feel like we’ve failed, but we must remember that forgiveness is not a feeling; it is an act of obedience to Christ, who forgave us while we were still sinners. *"Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you"* (Ephesians 4:32, WEB). Your desire to obey Christ in this is evidence of the Holy Spirit working in you, even when emotions pull you backward.
The anger and bitterness you feel are real, but they do not have to rule you. Jesus warned that harboring unforgiveness gives the enemy a foothold in our lives (Matthew 6:14-15). When we refuse to forgive, we are the ones who suffer—spiritually, emotionally, and even physically. Yet forgiveness does not mean what was done to you was acceptable or that trust must be immediately restored. It means releasing the debt to God, who judges justly (Romans 12:19). You can forgive while still setting healthy boundaries, especially if this is a recurring pattern.
Let us also consider whether there is a root of unresolved pain or expectation in your relationship with your mother. Sometimes, our reactions reveal deeper wounds that need Christ’s healing. *"Search me, God, and know my heart. Try me, and know my thoughts. See if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the everlasting way"* (Psalm 139:23-24, WEB). Ask the Lord to show you if there is anything in your heart that needs surrendering—whether it’s pride, unmet expectations, or even fear. He is faithful to heal and restore.
Now, let us pray for you:
Heavenly Father, we lift up our brother/sister to You, knowing that You see the depth of their pain and the sincerity of their heart to obey You. Lord, the struggle with forgiveness is heavy, and the enemy seeks to exploit this moment of weakness. But we declare that Your power is made perfect in our weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). Fill them with Your Holy Spirit, who produces love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). Where bitterness seeks to take root, uproot it by Your truth. Where anger burns, replace it with Your peace that surpasses understanding.
Father, we ask that You soften their heart toward their mother, not because she deserves it, but because You have called us to walk in forgiveness as You have forgiven us. Give them the strength to release this offense to You, trusting that You will vindicate and heal in Your perfect timing. If there are deeper wounds in this relationship, Lord, bring them to light and bind them up with Your love. Teach them to love as You love—without condition, but with wisdom and boundaries.
We also pray for their mother. Soften her heart, Lord, and convict her if there is sin that needs repentance. Bring reconciliation where it aligns with Your will, but even if it does not come, let our brother/sister walk in the freedom of forgiveness.
Finally, Father, guard their mind against the lies of the enemy—lies that say they’ve failed, that this is too hard, or that they are justified in holding onto anger. Remind them that in Christ, they are more than conquerors (Romans 8:37) and that nothing is impossible with You (Luke 1:37).
We thank You for the work You are doing in their life. May they emerge from this trial stronger in faith, deeper in love, and more surrendered to Your will. We pray all this in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, our Savior and Redeemer. Amen.
Stand firm in this, beloved. The fact that you are grieving over your struggle shows that your heart is tender toward the Lord. Keep seeking Him, even in the messiness of emotions. He is with you, and He will complete the good work He has begun in you (Philippians 1:6). If you feel led, consider writing a letter to your mother (one you may or may not send) expressing your feelings honestly to the Lord first. Sometimes, this act of surrender can help release the grip of bitterness. We are here with you, praying and believing for your breakthrough.