For Urgent Healing And Guidance

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smiley540070

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I'm in a 27-year 5-children relationship most of which has been tumultuous. I've endured everything from crass infidelity to total disrespect from the woman not only because of the love I have for my children two of which have completed college (The third is a junior while the last two are in the 6th and 7th Grades) but also because I expect God to change her to her former self. She comes from a good home and was one woman any man would die for. I was so proud of her. However when I left my home country to seek greener pastures elsewhere, she started dating a married man. From then on, it looked like the devil entered this woman even as she joined me with our kids. My discovery of the affair really devastated me and nearly brought about our separation but for the strenuous efforts by our families. To discover again that she had re-initiated contact last year after 16 years and sent Christmas and New Year well-wishes to this man while pointedly ignoring me when we live under my roof together with our kids, would’ve driven any man to murder. But surprisingly, it didn’t in my case. I only asked her to pack and leave. In between, I have reason to believe she was cheating because of the information I stumbled upon some two years ago.

We had quarrels thereafter the mentioned instances which under normal circumstances should've ended the relationship. However, the thought of my kids with such a woman alone scared me silly. And then just when I thought I had gathered the moral, physical, and spiritual strength to give this woman the boot, she morphed back into the respectable, respectful, and responsible woman I fell in love with even though once-in-a-while, the disrespect against me that had gone on too long and had become a habit, would surface. I admired her efforts but felt they were too late too little: I felt too emotionally drained to continue the relationship.

I don't attend any church but I believe in God. This woman though attends church at every opportunity. Every God-inspired advice I gave this woman fell on deaf ears and because she had started living by the credo, "What's mine is mine and what's yours is subject to negotiations," she lost heavily financially on a commercial venture from which she is yet to recover. In fact everything God used me to warn her about came to pass. Now her obstinacy may cost her big-time health-wise: She's been diagnosed with cervical HPV--and awaiting further examination on May 29 to determine the extent of damage, if any, to her cervix. I've even requested healing prayers for her because I honestly don’t know if I infected her during the early days of our relationship when I was also playing the field because I understand this particular STD infection can take years to “break out.â€

But now, my head has given me all the logical reasons why I should give her the boot now that I have a so-called God-given opportunity. However, my heart tells me it would be morally wrong and inconsiderate especially when children are involved and that my own Adamic sinful nature should be the reason for not casting the proverbial first stone at her. Rather I should prayerfully ask God for guidance because He never tires of us when we sin.

Believe me, before this woman and our kids, I had no problem “ditching†women of which I’ve had my fair share. However, past and present experiences clearly show she’s basically good at heart who, since her dalliance with the married man, has been struggling with a more powerful evil entity. Even now, despite the fact that I deem her morally deficient, she’s prepared to give the shirt off her back to our kids. In fact I would wish God would transform her back into the woman I knew, fell in love with, and was proud of as a wife and mother of my children. Without knowing why, foolishly or wisely, I have already promised to stand by her in this hour of need. However, I also recognize that my ways and wishes are not God’s.

It is precisely for all the reasons that I have given that I ask for your prayers and support for God, who is not the author of confusion, to heal this woman, make her whole in all other physical and spiritual areas, and guard and guide me through this maze according to His grace, mercies, infinite kindness, and will.
 
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