FOR SURGERY AND HEALING

[Chrysostom]

Your suffering is great, and it is right to pour out your heart before the Lord and His Church. But be watchful, for a wounded spirit often gives place to a fire that consumes itself, and anger, even when it seems just, can become a weapon that the enemy uses against your own soul. The physicians prescribed a remedy for your body, but their healing was incomplete; yet the greater sickness is a heart that broods over wrongs. Do not let this bitterness take root and become a second hernia, crushing the breath of the Spirit within you.

The door is opening for your surgery, a door of hope through the research you have prepared. Do not be anxious that the surgeon may not have read your brief. The Lord, who opened Paul's way in Troas, can open this man's understanding. Yet even Paul, when a door stood open, found no relief for his spirit while his brother was absent. So you too may have to endure a little further delay, but do not interpret that as abandonment. The Great Physician sometimes allows a longer wait so that our faith may be perfected, and that we may learn to rely not on earthly medicine alone, but on Him who made the body.

As for your jaw and the hidden hernias, what the doctors overlooked, the Lord has now brought to light. Even if the discovery came through mechanical means, remember that God can speak through any instrument, as He once used a donkey. But do not place your ultimate trust in these things; rather, with the boldness of that Canaanite woman who would not be silenced, keep asking, keep seeking, keep knocking. She was called a dog, yet she persisted, and her daughter was healed. You must do the same.

Concerning the birthday: it is no sin to care for the body. When the Lord heard that Lazarus was sick, He did not rush at once, but waited, teaching us that our times are in His hands. If you go to this gathering in your present state, you will not honor your nephew but will only add to your affliction, and perhaps even provoke resentment in your heart. Stay home without guilt. Tend to your pain. He who made families understands that sometimes the greatest love is shown by resting, not by appearing. Do not hide your condition out of false shame; this too is a kind of pride. Your body is a temple, even in its weakness, and you dishonor it by pressing it beyond its strength for the sake of human opinion.

Pray for your surgeons, for those who delayed your care, and even for the makers of that drug which brought you harm. Forgive them, as you hope to be forgiven. Yes, the world's systems are often unjust, and money too often governs medicine. But do not let your anger block your own healing. The true surgery you need is not only of the body but of the soul. Here in the church you have a spiritual clinic; bring these wounds to the altar as well. Confess your rage, your despair, your fear that you will never be well. Then leave them there.

We will pray as you ask: for speed, for skill, for mercy on your kidneys and gallbladder. But more than that, we will pray that the peace of Christ, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your heart and mind. The Lord Jesus knows what it is to suffer in the flesh, to be misunderstood, to wait for relief that seems long delayed. He will not abandon you. Only do not abandon the fortress of patience.

Now go, and use this time of waiting to draw near to Him. The pain is real, but it can become a teacher of wisdom if you let it. Tomorrow's manna will come tomorrow; today's strength is enough for today.

 

[Silas]

You have been carrying an almost unbearable weight, and I am so sorry for the long road of pain and frustration you have walked. The anguish in your words is real, and God sees every tear. He understands the burning sense of injustice when greed and neglect have taken the place of proper care. It is right to name evil for what it is. Scripture shows that when people misuse what God created for good, whether it is the gift of our bodies or the calling to heal, it is a distortion of His design. That kind of wrong makes Him angry too, and He will not leave it unaddressed.

Yet I want to gently turn your eyes from the anger that feels so justified to the One who holds all justice. We both know that bitterness, even when understandable, is a poison we swallow while hoping someone else gets sick. The enemy loves to take a righteous frustration and twist it into a spirit of resentment that eats away at our peace and draws us into captivity. I have learned the hard way that when I try to defend myself, the Lord lets me flounder. But when I hand the cause over to Him, He becomes my defense. He sees the greed, the shortcuts, the suffering of the innocent. Your part now is to release the demand for vindication into His hands and trust Him to make it right. That is not weakness; it is placing your case before the highest court.

There is a powerful moment in the history of God’s people when the ark, the symbol of His presence, was set aside in the house of Obed-Edom because the king was afraid to move it. And in that waiting, God poured out blessing on that household. Delays are not always denials. The very things that seem to be stuck or delayed because of human failure are not beyond His ability to turn for good. He never loses control of His own purposes, even when systems fail us.

I want to encourage you with a hard but hopeful truth: the Spirit of God strives with men with incredible patience, far longer than we would. Yet there is a warning. There comes a time when He says, “No remedy.” I am not saying that to frighten you, but to plead with you not to let your heart grow calloused by anger. Do not let the wrongs done to you become a wedge between you and the healing presence of Jesus. Bring that hot fury to Him honestly, He can handle it, but then leave it at His feet so it does not poison your faith or your body further.

The name of Jesus is still the name above every name. It is by that name that men and women are made whole. So I pray with you now in that powerful name: Father, You see the two hernias, the damaged kidneys, the failing gallbladder, the jaw movements linked to airway guarding, the aspiration into compromised lungs. We ask that the surgeon would receive and read the medical brief, that compassion and urgency would replace bureaucratic indifference, and that every needed procedure would be expedited. We ask for excellent results, for the Bochdalek and hiatal hernias to be skillfully repaired, the TIF surgery successful, and the gallbladder either kept silent or safely removed. We speak recovery to the kidneys and a cessation of those involuntary jaw movements. Give wisdom to every doctor and surround this dear one with your peace.

About your nephew’s party, give yourself permission to cancel without guilt. You are not letting anyone down by honoring the body’s limits. Carrying pain to every family function is not required of you. Love does not mean self-destruction. The foundation garment you mention is another kind of bondage, and I pray that the surgeries bring such restoration that you no longer need to hide. For now, practice the courage to say no so that your body can rest.

Finally, remember that everything we have, our breath, our healing, our bodies, belongs to the Lord. He has placed us here to care for these frail tents, and we have often done a poor job. But we can always bring the broken pieces back to Him. You are not alone. Keep your eyes on the One who never gives up on His own, and trust that He is at work even in the waiting.