For God to order my steps help me

Bheoford

Disciple of Prayer
My heart is broken. ### has lied and cheated. He rationalizes his behavior as not sin. He laughed when confronted. I am angry. I can’t sleep or eat. All I think about is why and the lies. I know I have to forgive. Lord help me. Take this anxiety away from my mind and heart. Lord create in me a clean heart and renew a right spirit within me. Lord I pray for his salvation. Lord let there be an accountability. Help me not hate.
 
We join you in bringing this broken heart before the Lord and we thank you for honestly pouring out your pain. We hear your cry for God to order your steps, to take away anxiety, to create in you a clean heart, and to help you forgive and not hate, and we stand with you in prayer.

The Lord is near to you in this suffering, for Psalm 34:18 says Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit. Psalm 37:23 says A man's goings are established by Yahweh. He delights in his way. And Proverbs 3:5-6 says Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and don't lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. We pray He will order your steps day by day as you lean on Him and not on the confusion and lies surrounding you.

We must speak clearly about what has happened. What this man has done in lying and cheating is sin before God, and to rationalize it as not sin and to laugh when confronted is to mock what God calls holy. Lying is an abomination to God as Proverbs 12:22 says, and sexual immorality outside of marriage is grievously sinful. If you are married, this is adultery which violates the covenant of marriage that God ordains between a man and a woman for life, for Hebrews 13:4 says Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the bed be undefiled, but God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers. If you are in courtship, this is fornication, for 1 Corinthians 6:18 says Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. God is not mocked, for Galatians 6:7 says Don't be deceived. God is not mocked, for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. And Proverbs 14:9 says Fools mock at making atonement for sins, but among the upright there is good will. His laughter does not change God's standard, and Isaiah 5:20 warns against calling evil good and good evil. We rebuke that deception and we pray for true accountability to come, whether through godly counsel, pastoral intervention, or church discipline according to Matthew 18:15-17, so that he may be confronted in love and come to repentance, for James 5:16 says Confess your offenses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed.

Your anger, sleeplessness, loss of appetite, and anxious thoughts are understandable, yet God calls us to handle anger without sin. Ephesians 4:26-27 says Be angry, and don't sin. Don't let the sun go down on your wrath, neither give place to the devil. And Ephesians 4:31-32 says Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, outcry, and slander, be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you. To hate would allow a root of bitterness to defile you as Hebrews 12:15 warns, and vengeance belongs to the Lord as Romans 12:19 says Don't seek revenge yourselves, beloved, but give place to God's wrath. For it is written, Vengeance belongs to me, I will repay, says the Lord. Forgiveness as Jesus teaches in Matthew 6:14-15 is commanded for our freedom, but forgiveness does not mean pretending the sin did not happen or immediately restoring trust without repentance and fruit worthy of repentance.

We also hear your beautiful prayer from Psalm 51:10 Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a right spirit within me. God delights to answer that prayer. And for your anxiety, we cling to Philippians 4:6-7 which says In nothing be anxious, but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus. And 1 Peter 5:7 says casting all your worries on him, because he cares for you. He also gives rest, for Psalm 4:8 says In peace I will both lay myself down and sleep, for you, Yahweh alone, make me live in safety.

We notice you cried out to the Lord, and we want to gently remind you that it is only through the name of Jesus Christ that we have access to the Father and salvation. John 14:6 says Jesus said to him, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me. And Acts 4:12 says There is salvation in none other, for neither is there any other name under heaven, that is given among men, by which we must be saved. It is by believing in Jesus, His death and resurrection for our sins, that we are forgiven and can forgive others, and that our prayers are heard.

We pray together now. Father in heaven, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ, lifting up this dear one whose heart is broken and whose mind is overwhelmed with anxiety and sleeplessness. Lord, order her steps, guard her heart and thoughts with Your peace that surpasses all understanding, and grant her sleep and strength to eat and live. Create in her a clean heart and renew a right spirit within her, remove bitterness and hate, and help her to forgive as You in Christ have forgiven us, while also giving her wisdom and godly counsel to set righteous boundaries and not enable sin. Lord, we pray for this man who has lied and cheated and rationalized his sin, have mercy on him and bring him to true repentance and salvation, open his eyes to see his sin as You see it, grant him godly sorrow that leads to repentance, and bring accountability into his life. Let Your will be done in this relationship, that if it is to continue it would be only on the foundation of repentance, truth, and a marriage that honors You between a man and a woman, or if it is courtship, that it would be pursued only toward a godly marriage to a fellow believer or be brought to an end rather than continuing in fornication and deceit. Help her not to hate but to love with Your love while hating what is evil. We cast all her cares on You because You care for her. In Jesus' name we pray, amen.
 
We have been holding your request before the Lord and we are so sorry for the pain you are carrying. To be lied to and cheated on, and then to be laughed at when you spoke the truth, is a deep wound. It makes sense that anger, sleepless nights, not wanting to eat, and replaying the why and the lies would take over right now.

You named wanting to forgive and not hate, and also asking God for a clean heart and peace in your mind. In our experience those two things often move at different speeds. There is the decision to release the right to get even, which you are already seeking, and then there is the slower work of the emotions catching up. When thoughts keep looping over what happened, the body stays on alert and anxiety grows. That back and forth is common in the early days after betrayal and it usually needs time and steady support to settle, not just willpower.

You don't have to walk this alone. If you have one safe pastor, mature woman in your church, or Christian counselor you trust, consider reaching out to that one person this week simply to be heard and to think through wise next steps and what healthy accountability could look like. And since you mentioned not sleeping or eating, we gently encourage you to let your doctor know as well as you keep praying, so both your heart and your body have care.

Father, we lift our sister to You in Jesus' name. Quiet the anxiety weighing on her mind and heart, give her rest and strength, create in her a clean heart and renew a right spirit within her. Guard her from bitterness, order her steps day by day, and surround her with faithful support. We pray for her husband too, that You would bring conviction and truth and draw him to salvation, and provide godly accountability around him. Give her wisdom for each decision ahead. Amen.
 
Your cry has come before the Lord and before His people, and we have heard the breaking of your heart. To be lied to and cheated upon, and then to be laughed at when truth is spoken, is a bitter betrayal. Our Lord Jesus knows this wound, for He was betrayed with a kiss and by one who walked near to Him, and He is able to sympathize with you in every point. He sees your sleepless nights, your loss of appetite, the thoughts that turn again and again to why and to the lies, and the anger that rises within you.

You are right to call sin what God calls sin. When a man rationalizes his behavior as not sin, he deceives his own soul, but he does not deceive God. Scripture is not left in doubt upon such matters. What God calls unfaithfulness and deceit remains so, though man may laugh or make excuse. To pray for his salvation as you have done is Christlike, for there is forgiveness with God, that He may be feared. It is a divine forgiveness, I even I am He who blotteth out thy transgressions, and it is surprising forgiveness and complete forgiveness, blotting out the debt as a creditor forgives one who has nothing to pay. However sinful a life has been, there is forgiveness with God through Jesus Christ His Son, for the Just died for the unjust to bring us to God. We will join you in praying that this man may be brought to tremble and shake for fear with a penitent heart and desire that forgiveness, that he may no longer laugh but mourn his sin and find mercy. And we pray also that there will be right accountability, for God will bring every work into judgment and He has ordained that sin should be uncovered and not hidden, and that His church and His providence should deal truthfully with wrong.

Your anxiety, your anger, and your desire not to hate are laid bare before Him who orders the steps of His people. Do not be so affected by these heavy things as to get into a state of worry and fretfulness, for anxiety has never comforted any soul nor brought any grist to the mill. Indeed the very anxiety which arises through your being in a difficulty unfits you to meet that difficulty. Rather, in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God, and the peace of God which passeth all understanding shall keep your heart and mind through Christ Jesus. Cast your care upon Him, for He careth for you. He can give sleep to His beloved and restore strength to the faint.

You say, I know I have to forgive, Lord help me. This is a holy work and it is not of your own power. We have in Him a full forgiveness, and for Christ's sake God hath forgiven us, and so we are to forgive one another. It is a joint business of mutual forgiveness among Christians, and some of us who have had so much manifest forgiveness ought to find it as natural to open our hands to forgive as to breathe. Yet hear this, forgiveness with God is not the pretending that sin was not sin, and your forgiving this man does not mean you must call his wrong right or require no accountability. Divine forgiveness is complete, it blots out the transgression for the repentant soul before God, but it does not remove the call to truth and to a renewed life. You may forgive as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you, releasing vengeance into the hands of Him who judges righteously, and yet pray that the Lord will bring this man to truth and to holy living. Help me not hate, you pray, and the Lord who creates in us a clean heart and renews a right spirit within us will answer that. Ask Him daily to forgive you as you forgive, and to keep your heart from bitterness, which is a root that defiles.

We pray for you now, that the Lord would order your steps in His word and let not iniquity have dominion over you. May He lift this weight of anxiety from your mind and heart, guard your thoughts, give you sleep and bread in due season, and keep you in perfect peace as your mind is stayed on Him. May He create in you a clean heart and renew a right spirit within you, washing you in the blood of Christ and making you to know that there is forgiveness, there was forgiveness, there will be forgiveness as long as life lasts, for all who come to Him through Jesus. May He keep you from hatred, fill you with that love which desires the salvation of even those who have wounded you, and grant you wisdom to walk in truth, with godly boundaries and godly counsel, until your steps are made firm in His way.

We will continue to bear you up before the throne, that you may prove that there is forgiveness with God and that He is able to heal the brokenhearted and to make even this sorrow work for your good and His glory.
 
Father, humbly ask for Your power to intervene. Please meet deepest spiritual, physical, emotional, financial needs according to Your Will and timing in Jesus Name Amen
"May the Lord bless you and protect you. May the Lord smile on you and be gracious to you. May the Lord show you his favor and give you his peace." Numbers 6:24-26
 

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