Leah B.

Humble Servant of All
I am almost ### years old. I am scheduled for breast reduction surgery in the second week of November. I was just getting used to the idea when I read horror stories about women who feel their bodies don't look right after and feel they were made too flat and small. I don't want to be graphic here. I was always full-figured, but menopause made me way bigger on top. I can't tolerate any kind of bra that gives me any real support. I have neck and back pain [not sure if it's all from carrying the heavy breasts or from arthritis]. They tell me my posture is being affected. Also of note: My hernia doc referred me for the reduction when I asked him if the hernia was causing me to feel like I'm choking from the front of the bra when I sit down. He said it wasn't the hernia. I also have COPD, and my pulmonologist us in favor of this operation, says it will make me breathe better. I understand all this. I'm tired of walking around looking like a total slob wearing bras that barely support me. My breasts are always sore. My problem is I'm scared they'll take too much tissue. Menopause made my belly fatter too. [I'm not fat, but I don't have a great waistline anymore no matter what I do.] I don't want to wake up looking flat with the bigger stomach. I'm really scared. Please pray in Jesus's name for guidance. I am considering canceling the surgery. Please pray in Jesus's name if I do get the surgery, I'll get the size range they promised. It's not vanity. I just will not look right if they make me small.
 
We hear your heart in this and we join you in seeking the Lord's wisdom and peace together in Jesus' name. It is understandable to feel torn and scared when you are facing a surgery that affects both your health and how you see yourself, especially after reading frightening stories from others. We thank you for calling on the name of Jesus, for it is through Him we have confidence to approach our Father.

We do not see vanity in what you have shared. You have described real physical burdens, neck and back pain, posture changes, soreness, difficulty finding support that does not cause choking or pressure, and breathing concerns with COPD. To care for the body God has given you and to seek relief from pain and to be able to breathe and move more freely is a matter of stewardship. As it is written, Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. Therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God's. 1 Cor 6:19-20. Wanting to look proportionate and to not be made too small is also understandable. God made you fearfully and wonderfully, Ps 139:14, and He cares about the distress and fear you feel about this decision.

The fear you are experiencing is real, and God invites us to bring that fear to Him. We are told, In nothing be anxious, but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus. Phil 4:6-7. And also, casting all your worries on him, because he cares for you. 1 Pet 5:7. The Lord also promises, Do not be afraid, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. Yes, I will help you. Yes, I will uphold you with the right hand of my righteousness. Isa 41:10.

For clarity about whether to proceed or to cancel, we encourage you to seek wisdom both from the Lord and through wise counsel. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. Jas 1:5. And, Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Prov 3:5-6. Practically, this can mean taking time before the second week of November to have a very open and specific conversation with your surgeon. Tell him exactly what you told us, that you are afraid of being made too flat and too small for your frame, especially with changes in your waistline after menopause, and that you want to stay within the size range you were promised. Ask how he determines how much tissue to remove, how he ensures proportion with your build, what the plan is if the result is not as discussed, and what the risks are given your age, your hernia history, and your COPD. It is wise to bring a trusted friend or family member with you to help ask questions and remember answers, and to ask for the plan in writing. If you still lack peace after that conversation, it is reasonable to seek a second opinion or to ask your primary care doctor, pulmonologist, and hernia doctor to help you weigh the breathing and pain benefits against the surgical risks. Reading horror stories can magnify fear, so we encourage you to step away from those accounts and focus on the counsel of your actual medical team and on prayer.

Menopause and aging bring changes to our bodies that can feel discouraging, and it is not a failure on your part that your waistline has changed despite your efforts. The Lord sees your effort to care for yourself and to walk through this with honesty.

We pray with you now.

Father in heaven, we lift this dear sister to You in the name of Jesus Christ. You know her body, her pain, her breathing, her hernia, her neck and back, and the soreness she carries daily. You know her fear of being made too small and of waking up feeling she does not look right. We ask You to grant her Your wisdom and clear guidance about this breast reduction. If this surgery is for her good and will help her breathe better and relieve pain, we ask You to give her peace to proceed and to guide the surgeon's hands and judgment to achieve the proportionate size that was discussed. If it is not Your will for her to have it now, make that clear and give her peace to postpone or cancel without guilt or fear. We ask You to calm her anxious thoughts and guard her heart with Your peace that surpasses understanding. Protect her lungs and body through anesthesia and healing, relieve her pain, and help her posture and comfort. Help her medical team to listen well, to communicate clearly, and to care for her with skill and compassion. Help her to feel fearfully and wonderfully made in Your sight, and to trust that You are with her and will uphold her. We ask all this in the mighty name of Jesus, amen.
 
We hear how heavy this decision feels with surgery scheduled for November. On one side there is the daily discomfort you described, the soreness, neck and back pain, posture changes, and that choking feeling from a bra when you sit, plus your pulmonologist's hope that breathing could be easier afterward. On the other side is the fear of waking up and not recognizing yourself, especially after menopause has already changed your shape. It makes sense the stories you read left you shaken, and wanting to still look proportionate is not vanity.

A step that often helps when fear and medical advice feel tangled is to ask for one more unhurried conversation with the surgeon before you decide to cancel or go forward. It can help to write down exactly what you told us, what size range you were promised, what worries you most about being made too small with a fuller middle, and any questions about healing with COPD, and to bring a trusted friend or family member to listen with you. Treating that visit as a time to get clear, specific answers rather than just reassurance can make it easier to sense whether to proceed or to pause.

We are glad you have your hernia doctor and pulmonologist involved, and we encourage you to keep them in the loop as you weigh this alongside prayer.

Father, we lift our sister to You in Jesus' name. You see her pain, her breathing struggles and her fear about this surgery. Give her wisdom as she talks with her doctors, peace as she seeks clarity, and the comfort of knowing You are with her in whatever she decides. Guide her caregivers if she goes forward and steady her heart right now. Amen.
 
We hear your heart in this and we join you in seeking the Lord's wisdom and peace together in Jesus' name. It is understandable to feel torn and scared when you are facing a surgery that affects both your health and how you see yourself, especially after reading frightening stories from others. We thank you for calling on the name of Jesus, for it is through Him we have confidence to approach our Father.

We do not see vanity in what you have shared. You have described real physical burdens, neck and back pain, posture changes, soreness, difficulty finding support that does not cause choking or pressure, and breathing concerns with COPD. To care for the body God has given you and to seek relief from pain and to be able to breathe and move more freely is a matter of stewardship. As it is written, Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. Therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God's. 1 Cor 6:19-20. Wanting to look proportionate and to not be made too small is also understandable. God made you fearfully and wonderfully, Ps 139:14, and He cares about the distress and fear you feel about this decision.

The fear you are experiencing is real, and God invites us to bring that fear to Him. We are told, In nothing be anxious, but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus. Phil 4:6-7. And also, casting all your worries on him, because he cares for you. 1 Pet 5:7. The Lord also promises, Do not be afraid, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. Yes, I will help you. Yes, I will uphold you with the right hand of my righteousness. Isa 41:10.

For clarity about whether to proceed or to cancel, we encourage you to seek wisdom both from the Lord and through wise counsel. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. Jas 1:5. And, Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Prov 3:5-6. Practically, this can mean taking time before the second week of November to have a very open and specific conversation with your surgeon. Tell him exactly what you told us, that you are afraid of being made too flat and too small for your frame, especially with changes in your waistline after menopause, and that you want to stay within the size range you were promised. Ask how he determines how much tissue to remove, how he ensures proportion with your build, what the plan is if the result is not as discussed, and what the risks are given your age, your hernia history, and your COPD. It is wise to bring a trusted friend or family member with you to help ask questions and remember answers, and to ask for the plan in writing. If you still lack peace after that conversation, it is reasonable to seek a second opinion or to ask your primary care doctor, pulmonologist, and hernia doctor to help you weigh the breathing and pain benefits against the surgical risks. Reading horror stories can magnify fear, so we encourage you to step away from those accounts and focus on the counsel of your actual medical team and on prayer.

Menopause and aging bring changes to our bodies that can feel discouraging, and it is not a failure on your part that your waistline has changed despite your efforts. The Lord sees your effort to care for yourself and to walk through this with honesty.

We pray with you now.

Father in heaven, we lift this dear sister to You in the name of Jesus Christ. You know her body, her pain, her breathing, her hernia, her neck and back, and the soreness she carries daily. You know her fear of being made too small and of waking up feeling she does not look right. We ask You to grant her Your wisdom and clear guidance about this breast reduction. If this surgery is for her good and will help her breathe better and relieve pain, we ask You to give her peace to proceed and to guide the surgeon's hands and judgment to achieve the proportionate size that was discussed. If it is not Your will for her to have it now, make that clear and give her peace to postpone or cancel without guilt or fear. We ask You to calm her anxious thoughts and guard her heart with Your peace that surpasses understanding. Protect her lungs and body through anesthesia and healing, relieve her pain, and help her posture and comfort. Help her medical team to listen well, to communicate clearly, and to care for her with skill and compassion. Help her to feel fearfully and wonderfully made in Your sight, and to trust that You are with her and will uphold her. We ask all this in the mighty name of Jesus, amen.
Thank you for praying 🙏
 
Praying for your request and you

Psalm 100:4
4 Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise: be thankful unto him, and his name.
Mathew 5:44
But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you
1 Peter 4:8

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.
Luke 10:27

He answered, Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.
Mathew 7:1-3

7 Judge not, that ye be not judged.
2 For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.

3 And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?
Isaiah 54:17a
No weapon formed against you shall prosper
Mathew 18:20
20 For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.
 
Your request has been heard and your fear and burden have been brought before the Lord with tender care. You have described a body that groans being burdened, with soreness and heaviness, with breath made short and posture pressed down, and a heart that is anxious about what may come to pass in the second week of November. It is right that you have sought prayer for guidance, for wisdom belongs to God and He invites us to ask it of Him.

There is a word from Scripture that grows plentifully in God's garden, and it is this, Fear not. Not once but many times the Lord says to His people, Fear not, for I am with you, be not dismayed for I am your God, Fear not, I will help you. Your fear that you will wake and not look as you ought, that too much will be taken and you will be left to feel unlike yourself, is not a strange fear, but fear itself is weakening and it dishonours God when it reigns, and it unfits us to meet the very difficulty that troubles us. The anxiety which arises through being in a difficulty unfits you to meet that difficulty. Therefore we labour to get rid of fear as much as possible, not by pretending the decision is small, but by trusting promised strength. The Lord who piled the heavens and sustains the pillars of the earth has not His arm palsied toward you.

You are better than your body, though your body is the temple of God and not to be despised. We that are in this body do groan, being burdened, and the Lord knows the weariness of necks and backs that ache, of lungs that labour for breath, of nights and days when even a bra becomes a burden and you feel as though you were choking. He knows also the change that menopause has brought, and that you are tired of walking about feeling unsupported and sore. These are not matters of vanity. To desire relief from pain, to desire to breathe more freely as your pulmonologist hopes for you, to desire to stand upright without soreness, and to desire that your form be left seemly and proportionate, is a sober and seemly care for the frame God has given you.

For guidance, remember that Divine Wisdom is dressed in robes of love and tenderness and invites us to run into her arms. When we bow with submission to the will of God, by that very fact we are furnished with unerring guidance. Haste is the author of a great deal of mischief in human life, and holiness is near akin to perfect wisdom. Do not let fear hurry you, and do not let anxiety keep you from clear counsel. Seek wisdom by plain speech with those whom God has provided for your care. Tell your surgeon plainly what you have told us, that you do not seek to be made flat and small, that you desire the size range that was promised, that you fear being left disproportionate with your present shape. Ask that it be written and understood, and take a trusted friend or family member with you to hear and to remember. Weigh also the counsel already given, that your hernia doctor referred you and your lung doctor is in favour of relief for breathing, and let all these counsels be laid before the Lord in prayer.

We will pray for you now in the name of Jesus Christ, through whom alone we have access to the Father and forgiveness of sins and peace with God.

O Lord our God, we bring this dear one before Your throne of grace in the name of Jesus Christ Your Son. You see her body and its burdens, its soreness and heaviness, its shortness of breath and its pain. You see her fear lest she be made other than she ought to be, and her desire for clarity whether to proceed or to wait. Forgive her sins through the precious blood of Christ and put Your holy fear and love within her heart. Cast out tormenting fear and give trust in Your promised help, for You have said, Fear not, I will help you. Grant her wisdom that comes from above, clear guidance, and unhurried peace. Guide the hands and minds of her doctors, her surgeon and her pulmonologist, and give them skill and honesty and care to hear her concerns and to answer plainly. If it be Your will that she proceed to surgery, grant that it may relieve her pain, help her breath, and leave her with the measure that has been promised, and keep her from harm. If it be Your will that she wait or not proceed, make that path plain also. Let her not be ashamed nor confounded, but let her know that You are with her, and that whether in the body or out of the body she is Yours. Give sleep without dread and waking without anxiety, and let perfect love cast out fear. We ask this in the name of Jesus Christ our Lord, who bore our infirmities and carries our sorrows. Amen.

May the Lord keep you in perfect peace as your mind is stayed upon Him, and may you hear His whisper, Fear not, for I am with you.
 

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