Tlynne44
Disciple of Prayer
First, I want to apologize for not coming on here and praying for people like I should. I have prayed for some but not nearly as much as I should. I do have a chronic illness and was just diag w/ something else potentially life threatening and that's when I think oh I need prayer. So it just shows my selfishness that I don't think of others. My kids can be a handful but that's no excuse. TBH I came on here to ask for prayer for my health and family. I have been begging God to bring me home because of all that's happening in my family. I feel like I just make everyone miserable because I'm sick. It's hard for me to not complain out loud "oh I'm in so much pain." My kids don't need to hear that. My kids also have some issues. My son seems to hate me. He's 17 and bipolar and I'm not going on vacation with him, my 16-year-old daughter who's on the spectrum and worries me to death, my mom and my sister and her fam. They're leaving me home but not just because of my illness. My son has lied and really broke up my relationship with my sister. But it's a long story. The hardest part is my mom and other family who got vax, which I asked them not to, are acting so different and just more distant. I'm going to have to go 7 days alone while my family is at the beach. I'm mainly upset because my anxiety is really bad and I don't know how I'll get through it. That's a long time to be away from my kids. I worry about tsunamis. It's my anxiety. I worry all the time. I know it's the devil but I don't know how to fight it. I'm severely depressed and very sick. So I'm also worried something could happen to me because of this new diagnosis. Leg ulcers on my lower legs that are horrible. It's vasculitis but the type is the part that's scary. Anyway, I'm so sorry for the long post. I'm so sorry for not praying for others like I should. I ask God forgive me. I'm terrified of everything and that includes dying but yet I want to die? Doesn't make sense does it. I guess it's the way I worry about it. I've suffered with chronic pain so long that I worry of suffering a horrible death. Do I sound miserable or what! Thank you to those who take time to read this mess and pray. God Bless you all and I hope you will be blessed for what you do to help people like me.