Rico
Beloved Servant
Find it so hard to deal with my anger.... acted out last night (watched x-rated material online) fully knowing what I was doing. I hate this cycle. Sinning... feeling ashamed and guilty ...repenting ....then trying to exercise self-control.... then when things get rough throwing in the towel again and "using"/sinning to numb my feelings, to rebel, to vent...whatever....its aweful...I hate it...I'm responsible for what I do and take that responsibility but sometimes it feels like the forces against me are so powerful and I am not in control. I know that is a lie but it feels so right. Please help me Lord. Help. Help. Help. Send grace, wisdom, strength. I want to follow you and do the good that you asked me to but I find myself doing anything but....what is my faith worth if I can't seem to be able to escape this cycle? Give me more faith please. You said we'd be able to move mountains if we had faith only as small as a mustard seed. Please help me move those treacherous mountains in my life. Amen
