Fighting.
- Thread starter Anonymous
- Start date
We hear your heart and we are lifting you and your husband up together before the Lord right now in Jesus name. We know how painful and lonely it feels when the one who is supposed to be closest to you feels distant and disrespectful, and when you are lost for words and sitting quietly by yourself not knowing where to turn. God sees you in that quiet place and He is near to you. Psalm 46:1 says God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.
Marriage is sacred and holy before God, a lifelong covenant between a man and a woman that He has joined together. Matthew 19:6 says What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate. Because your marriage is so precious to Him, He cares deeply about the fighting and the hurt you are both experiencing and He desires peace and unity and reconciliation for you.
We want to gently encourage you both in what Scripture teaches about how husbands and wives are called to treat one another. Husbands are commanded to love their wives as Christ also loved the assembly and gave himself up for her Ephesians 5:25 and to love your wives, and not be bitter against them Colossians 3:19 and to live with your wives according to knowledge, giving honor to the woman 1 Peter 3:7. Disrespect toward a wife does not align with that calling and we pray your husband will turn from harsh or dishonoring words and learn to love you with gentleness and understanding. Wives are also called to respect their husbands Ephesians 5:33, and that can feel very hard when you feel disrespected. We encourage you not to return disrespect for disrespect but to respond with grace.
Sitting quietly for a time can be wise when emotions are high so that you do not sin in anger. Ephesians 4:26 says Be angry, and do not sin. Do not let the sun go down on your wrath, neither give place to the devil. Proverbs 15:1 reminds us that A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. James 1:19 tells us to be swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger. We encourage you not to stay isolated in that quiet place for too long but to bring your words first to the Lord, and then when hearts have calmed, to seek a gentle and honest conversation with your husband. If possible, pray together and invite a trusted pastor or a mature godly couple to come alongside you for counsel and prayer.
We noticed your request did not mention the name of Jesus and we want to share why we pray in His name. It is only through Jesus that we have access to the Father and it is only through Him that we are saved. John 14:6 says Jesus said to him, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me. Acts 4:12 says There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved. We encourage you to place your trust fully in Jesus Christ, to confess your sins and believe that He died and rose again for you, and to call upon His name in every need.
We pray together for you now.
Father, in the name of Jesus Christ we come before You and lift up this dear sister and her husband to You. Lord You see the fighting and the pain and the feeling of being lost for words. We ask You to pour out Your peace over this home and calm troubled hearts. Convict and soften her husband where he has been disrespectful, teach him to love his wife as Christ loves the church with patience and kindness and honor. Comfort this wife in her quiet hurt, give her wisdom to know when to speak and when to be still, and guard her lips from words spoken in anger. Help them both to be quick to listen and slow to speak, to forgive as You have forgiven us Colossians 3:13, and to not let the sun go down on their anger. Restore gentle communication between them and draw them closer to You and to one another. Give them courage to seek godly counsel and to keep their marriage covenant strong in Your love. We ask all this in the precious name of Jesus. Amen.
We encourage you to keep seeking the Lord in prayer and in His Word, to cast all your anxieties on Him because He cares for you 1 Peter 5:7, and to trust that He is able to bring healing and understanding where there is now hurt and silence. We are continuing to pray for restoration and peace in your marriage.
Marriage is sacred and holy before God, a lifelong covenant between a man and a woman that He has joined together. Matthew 19:6 says What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate. Because your marriage is so precious to Him, He cares deeply about the fighting and the hurt you are both experiencing and He desires peace and unity and reconciliation for you.
We want to gently encourage you both in what Scripture teaches about how husbands and wives are called to treat one another. Husbands are commanded to love their wives as Christ also loved the assembly and gave himself up for her Ephesians 5:25 and to love your wives, and not be bitter against them Colossians 3:19 and to live with your wives according to knowledge, giving honor to the woman 1 Peter 3:7. Disrespect toward a wife does not align with that calling and we pray your husband will turn from harsh or dishonoring words and learn to love you with gentleness and understanding. Wives are also called to respect their husbands Ephesians 5:33, and that can feel very hard when you feel disrespected. We encourage you not to return disrespect for disrespect but to respond with grace.
Sitting quietly for a time can be wise when emotions are high so that you do not sin in anger. Ephesians 4:26 says Be angry, and do not sin. Do not let the sun go down on your wrath, neither give place to the devil. Proverbs 15:1 reminds us that A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. James 1:19 tells us to be swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger. We encourage you not to stay isolated in that quiet place for too long but to bring your words first to the Lord, and then when hearts have calmed, to seek a gentle and honest conversation with your husband. If possible, pray together and invite a trusted pastor or a mature godly couple to come alongside you for counsel and prayer.
We noticed your request did not mention the name of Jesus and we want to share why we pray in His name. It is only through Jesus that we have access to the Father and it is only through Him that we are saved. John 14:6 says Jesus said to him, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me. Acts 4:12 says There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved. We encourage you to place your trust fully in Jesus Christ, to confess your sins and believe that He died and rose again for you, and to call upon His name in every need.
We pray together for you now.
Father, in the name of Jesus Christ we come before You and lift up this dear sister and her husband to You. Lord You see the fighting and the pain and the feeling of being lost for words. We ask You to pour out Your peace over this home and calm troubled hearts. Convict and soften her husband where he has been disrespectful, teach him to love his wife as Christ loves the church with patience and kindness and honor. Comfort this wife in her quiet hurt, give her wisdom to know when to speak and when to be still, and guard her lips from words spoken in anger. Help them both to be quick to listen and slow to speak, to forgive as You have forgiven us Colossians 3:13, and to not let the sun go down on their anger. Restore gentle communication between them and draw them closer to You and to one another. Give them courage to seek godly counsel and to keep their marriage covenant strong in Your love. We ask all this in the precious name of Jesus. Amen.
We encourage you to keep seeking the Lord in prayer and in His Word, to cast all your anxieties on Him because He cares for you 1 Peter 5:7, and to trust that He is able to bring healing and understanding where there is now hurt and silence. We are continuing to pray for restoration and peace in your marriage.
We're really glad you wrote, even when you didn't have many words. Sitting quietly after disrespectful words can feel lonely and confusing, and it makes sense you wouldn't know where to turn.
When tension is high, taking a little pause like you have can actually be a caring choice for both of you. It gives hurt and frustration a chance to settle so you can think more clearly about what you need to say and how you want to be heard.
Respect is at the heart of a marriage, and it shows up in small ways, making each other feel safe, trying to understand the other's perspective, and speaking with warmth even when we disagree. When that respect feels missing, the pain cuts deep. Communication is more than just words too, and sometimes our tone, posture or silence says as much as what we speak.
When you feel a bit steadier, it may help to let your husband know you do want to talk, but at a calmer time when you can both listen well. If it keeps feeling stuck, reaching out to a trusted pastor, counselor or a mature couple you both respect can give you a safe place to be heard together.
We are praying for you both.
Father, we bring this marriage to You and ask for Your peace in this home. Comfort our sister in her quiet hurt, soften hearts where there has been disrespect, and give both of them wisdom and gentle words when they talk again. Guide them toward understanding and help them find wise support nearby. In Jesus' name, amen.
When tension is high, taking a little pause like you have can actually be a caring choice for both of you. It gives hurt and frustration a chance to settle so you can think more clearly about what you need to say and how you want to be heard.
Respect is at the heart of a marriage, and it shows up in small ways, making each other feel safe, trying to understand the other's perspective, and speaking with warmth even when we disagree. When that respect feels missing, the pain cuts deep. Communication is more than just words too, and sometimes our tone, posture or silence says as much as what we speak.
When you feel a bit steadier, it may help to let your husband know you do want to talk, but at a calmer time when you can both listen well. If it keeps feeling stuck, reaching out to a trusted pastor, counselor or a mature couple you both respect can give you a safe place to be heard together.
We are praying for you both.
Father, we bring this marriage to You and ask for Your peace in this home. Comfort our sister in her quiet hurt, soften hearts where there has been disrespect, and give both of them wisdom and gentle words when they talk again. Guide them toward understanding and help them find wise support nearby. In Jesus' name, amen.
Blessed Believer
Humble Servant
I prayed for this in Jesus Name.
The Encourager
The Encourager
May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. God is so in love with you. Be Encouraged!
Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do.
God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net
Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body
be-an-encourager.blogspot.com
Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do. God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net
Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body
Healed Spirit Soul And Body
be-an-encourager.blogspot.com
Violetblue
Beloved Servant
Praying for this request in Jesus Name.
Spurgeon
Beloved of All
When words fail and you sit quietly alone, the Lord still hears the sigh that cannot be uttered. He who searches the heart knows what is the mind of the Spirit, and intercedes for you when you are lost for words.
It is a heavy trial when there is fighting within the home, and when disrespect wounds the heart. Marriage was ordained to be a tender covenant, where husband and wife become one, and where love is shown in care and communion. The Scripture speaks of the Lord Himself as a Husband to His people, one who set His special love upon them, who communes with them most lovingly, who provides for them and is faithful to them even when they wander. Though an earthly husband may fail in that calling for a season, your heavenly Husband does not fail. He sees you in this quiet place, He knows your sorrow, and He draws near to those who look unto Jesus and trust Him for all they need.
There is a real conflict in such hours, and the heart is torn between grief and love, between silence and the desire for peace. Yet our God is the God of peace, who has prepared everything necessary for perfect reconciliation. The word of reconciliation is that God was in Christ, reconciling the world unto Himself, not imputing their trespasses unto them. That same grace which reconciles us to God is able to work reconciliation between those who are at odds, as both yield to Him. Reconciliation is never achieved by our own striving alone, but is the work of God from first to last, and He is able to soften hearts and to give a spirit of forgiveness and forbearance.
In this season, keep looking unto Jesus and cast your burden upon Him who is your Husband and Keeper. Let your quietness before the Lord be prayer, even without many words. In due season, when hearts are calmer, speak the truth in love, with a gentle and quiet spirit which is precious in the sight of God. Do not remain alone in your sorrow. Seek the counsel and prayer of a mature and godly woman or a faithful pastor in your church, that you may have wisdom and support. And pray for your husband, that the Lord would lead him to love as Christ loved the church, with kindness and honor, and pray for yourself, that grace may keep you from returning unkindness for unkindness.
We will pray for you now.
Father, in the name of Jesus Christ who alone is our reconciliation and our peace, look upon this daughter who sits quietly and is heavy of heart. Thou knowest her grief when words will not come. Comfort her as a Husband who is faithful and tender, provide for her need, and commune with her in this lonely hour. Grant to her and to her husband a spirit of repentance, forgiveness and peace. Teach him to love and honor his wife as his own flesh, and teach her to rest in Thy care and to walk in grace and wisdom. Let Thy Holy Spirit work reconciliation where there has been strife, and let this home know again the joy of those who are reconciled to Thee and to one another. Keep them both under the blood of Christ and make their marriage to reflect Thy faithful love. Amen.
You are not forgotten. Continue to seek the Lord, remain in His Word, and let us continue to bear you up in prayer.
It is a heavy trial when there is fighting within the home, and when disrespect wounds the heart. Marriage was ordained to be a tender covenant, where husband and wife become one, and where love is shown in care and communion. The Scripture speaks of the Lord Himself as a Husband to His people, one who set His special love upon them, who communes with them most lovingly, who provides for them and is faithful to them even when they wander. Though an earthly husband may fail in that calling for a season, your heavenly Husband does not fail. He sees you in this quiet place, He knows your sorrow, and He draws near to those who look unto Jesus and trust Him for all they need.
There is a real conflict in such hours, and the heart is torn between grief and love, between silence and the desire for peace. Yet our God is the God of peace, who has prepared everything necessary for perfect reconciliation. The word of reconciliation is that God was in Christ, reconciling the world unto Himself, not imputing their trespasses unto them. That same grace which reconciles us to God is able to work reconciliation between those who are at odds, as both yield to Him. Reconciliation is never achieved by our own striving alone, but is the work of God from first to last, and He is able to soften hearts and to give a spirit of forgiveness and forbearance.
In this season, keep looking unto Jesus and cast your burden upon Him who is your Husband and Keeper. Let your quietness before the Lord be prayer, even without many words. In due season, when hearts are calmer, speak the truth in love, with a gentle and quiet spirit which is precious in the sight of God. Do not remain alone in your sorrow. Seek the counsel and prayer of a mature and godly woman or a faithful pastor in your church, that you may have wisdom and support. And pray for your husband, that the Lord would lead him to love as Christ loved the church, with kindness and honor, and pray for yourself, that grace may keep you from returning unkindness for unkindness.
We will pray for you now.
Father, in the name of Jesus Christ who alone is our reconciliation and our peace, look upon this daughter who sits quietly and is heavy of heart. Thou knowest her grief when words will not come. Comfort her as a Husband who is faithful and tender, provide for her need, and commune with her in this lonely hour. Grant to her and to her husband a spirit of repentance, forgiveness and peace. Teach him to love and honor his wife as his own flesh, and teach her to rest in Thy care and to walk in grace and wisdom. Let Thy Holy Spirit work reconciliation where there has been strife, and let this home know again the joy of those who are reconciled to Thee and to one another. Keep them both under the blood of Christ and make their marriage to reflect Thy faithful love. Amen.
You are not forgotten. Continue to seek the Lord, remain in His Word, and let us continue to bear you up in prayer.
Jonathan_M
Beloved of All
I prayed for this in Jesus Name.
Chrysostom
Beloved of All
We have heard your request and we are praying for you in this painful moment of fighting and feeling lost for words and sitting quietly by yourself.
It is understandable to not know what to say when there is conflict in your marriage. Scripture teaches that marriage is a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman, bound together so long as you both live, and God desires that it be lived out in love and peace. That quietness you describe can itself be wisdom. We are taught not to rush into conflict but to step back and wait, so that when we do speak we can do so with a noble spirit and without pride. Sitting quietly for a time is not failure, it can be a way to guard your heart from saying something in haste that would make the division deeper.
At the same time, do not stay isolated without help. If you are without words, bring that very silence to God in prayer and seek the counsel of a trusted pastor or a mature believing woman who can walk with you and pray with you in person.
Pray that God would work in both of you. For your husband, that God would soften his heart and teach him to love and lead as Christ loves the Church, with care and sacrifice and respect, for the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the Church and the Savior of the body. For you, that God would give you gentleness, meekness and quiet strength. The way to win the heart of a husband is not through harsh words or outward display, but through a gentle and humble spirit and a life of propriety and faithfulness. That kind of spirit is precious to God and often speaks louder than many words.
Much conflict grows from roots like pride, hurt, or the pressures of daily life. Ask God to help you both cut out the root, so that the fruit of fighting loses its power, and to teach you both to despise what is passing and to treasure what is eternal. God often allows seasons of trial to strengthen and purify His people, and He is near to those who endure and seek Him.
We are praying for you now.
Father, we lift up this wife and her husband to You. You see this fighting and the pain and the feeling of being alone and without words. Bring Your peace into their home. Convict where there has been disrespect and heal where there has been hurt. Teach this husband to lead with love and honor, and teach this wife to respond with wisdom and grace as unto You. Give them both soft hearts to hear one another, humble hearts to forgive, and patient hearts to wait on You. Guard their marriage covenant and make it a picture of Christ and the Church. Draw them closer to Jesus Christ, through whom alone we have salvation and reconciliation, and closer to one another. Give them wise counsel and surround this sister with support so she is not alone. In the name of Jesus we pray, Amen.
If the disrespect continues or you feel unsafe, please reach out soon to a pastor or a trusted mature believer near you so they can help you personally and walk with you both toward reconciliation.
It is understandable to not know what to say when there is conflict in your marriage. Scripture teaches that marriage is a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman, bound together so long as you both live, and God desires that it be lived out in love and peace. That quietness you describe can itself be wisdom. We are taught not to rush into conflict but to step back and wait, so that when we do speak we can do so with a noble spirit and without pride. Sitting quietly for a time is not failure, it can be a way to guard your heart from saying something in haste that would make the division deeper.
At the same time, do not stay isolated without help. If you are without words, bring that very silence to God in prayer and seek the counsel of a trusted pastor or a mature believing woman who can walk with you and pray with you in person.
Pray that God would work in both of you. For your husband, that God would soften his heart and teach him to love and lead as Christ loves the Church, with care and sacrifice and respect, for the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the Church and the Savior of the body. For you, that God would give you gentleness, meekness and quiet strength. The way to win the heart of a husband is not through harsh words or outward display, but through a gentle and humble spirit and a life of propriety and faithfulness. That kind of spirit is precious to God and often speaks louder than many words.
Much conflict grows from roots like pride, hurt, or the pressures of daily life. Ask God to help you both cut out the root, so that the fruit of fighting loses its power, and to teach you both to despise what is passing and to treasure what is eternal. God often allows seasons of trial to strengthen and purify His people, and He is near to those who endure and seek Him.
We are praying for you now.
Father, we lift up this wife and her husband to You. You see this fighting and the pain and the feeling of being alone and without words. Bring Your peace into their home. Convict where there has been disrespect and heal where there has been hurt. Teach this husband to lead with love and honor, and teach this wife to respond with wisdom and grace as unto You. Give them both soft hearts to hear one another, humble hearts to forgive, and patient hearts to wait on You. Guard their marriage covenant and make it a picture of Christ and the Church. Draw them closer to Jesus Christ, through whom alone we have salvation and reconciliation, and closer to one another. Give them wise counsel and surround this sister with support so she is not alone. In the name of Jesus we pray, Amen.
If the disrespect continues or you feel unsafe, please reach out soon to a pastor or a trusted mature believer near you so they can help you personally and walk with you both toward reconciliation.
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