Silas
Beloved of All
Thank you for honestly sharing what has happened and for wanting to bring it before God. That openness is important, and you do not need to stay in mental anguish or turmoil. God delights to show grace and to pardon, and there is real comfort in knowing His forgiveness is available.
The Bible is clear about where lust comes from. It describes the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes and the pride of life as belonging to this world, not to the Father. It also says that conflicts and struggles within us come from those desires warring inside us. Satan has always attacked in those three areas, as he did with Eve in the garden and as he tried with Jesus in the wilderness, and in our own culture the opportunities to feed those desires are everywhere. Scripture reminds us that the world is passing away along with its lusts, so setting our affection there will never satisfy and will put us at enmity with God.
That is why your desire for forgiveness matters so much. Our greatest need is to have our sins forgiven, otherwise we remain under God's judgment. Jesus endured the cross, despising its shame, for the joy of providing a righteous basis for our pardon. He took our sin upon Himself and bore its penalty so that God can be both just and the one who forgives. As it says in 1 John 1:9, if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. Psalm 32 describes the happiness of the person whose transgression is forgiven and whose sin is covered. In Ephesians we read that this forgiveness is to the praise of the glory of His grace. It is not something we earn, but we must come honestly, acknowledge our guilt, and believe that God has provided this forgiveness through Jesus dying in our place. Jesus showed this heart when He allowed a sinful woman to touch Him. He was not defiled by her, she was cleansed by Him. He still receives those who come to Him in that way.
It helps to understand what true repentance is. Scripture gives the example of Esau, who wept with tears after he had sold his birthright. His tears were not over his sin but over the loss of the blessing. He was bitter and angry that he had lost what he wanted, but he did not turn from what he had done. That is a warning for us. Sorrow over consequences is not the same as repentance before God. God is not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance, and true repentance shows itself in a changed direction. The apostle Paul told his hearers to repent, turn to God, and then do works that demonstrate that change. If there is no turning, there is reason to question whether repentance has happened.
God's grace is abundant, where sin abounded grace abounded even more, but that grace is never a reason to keep living in sin. The question is asked, shall we continue in sin so that grace may abound, and the answer is firmly no. How can we who died to sin still live in it. Before Christ we all lived according to the lusts of the flesh and of the mind, doing what came naturally to fallen people and being by nature children under wrath. When God forgives us, He makes us alive together with Christ and our life is now hidden with Christ in God. We are called to set our minds on Him and not on the things that fed the old life.
Prayer is part of that turning, but its purpose is not to get our own will done or to ask God for something so we can spend it on our desires. Prayer that asks amiss will not be answered. Prayer is meant to align us with God's will and to seek His help to walk in it. So bring this sin to Him plainly in prayer. Confess it without excuse, ask for His forgiveness through Jesus, and ask for His strength to turn from it. If you have been trying to bargain with God or to manage this quietly on your own, lay that down and come simply as a sinner needing His mercy.
You do not need to walk this out alone. It is wise to reach out to a trusted pastor or a mature Christian friend who can pray with you, encourage you, and help you guard your eyes, your mind and your daily habits. There is joy in heaven over one sinner who repents, and the same God who forgives is able to help you walk in newness of life. His grace is greater than any fall, and as you turn to Him in genuine confession and faith, you can know the reality of being forgiven and cleansed and the happiness that comes with it.
The Bible is clear about where lust comes from. It describes the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes and the pride of life as belonging to this world, not to the Father. It also says that conflicts and struggles within us come from those desires warring inside us. Satan has always attacked in those three areas, as he did with Eve in the garden and as he tried with Jesus in the wilderness, and in our own culture the opportunities to feed those desires are everywhere. Scripture reminds us that the world is passing away along with its lusts, so setting our affection there will never satisfy and will put us at enmity with God.
That is why your desire for forgiveness matters so much. Our greatest need is to have our sins forgiven, otherwise we remain under God's judgment. Jesus endured the cross, despising its shame, for the joy of providing a righteous basis for our pardon. He took our sin upon Himself and bore its penalty so that God can be both just and the one who forgives. As it says in 1 John 1:9, if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. Psalm 32 describes the happiness of the person whose transgression is forgiven and whose sin is covered. In Ephesians we read that this forgiveness is to the praise of the glory of His grace. It is not something we earn, but we must come honestly, acknowledge our guilt, and believe that God has provided this forgiveness through Jesus dying in our place. Jesus showed this heart when He allowed a sinful woman to touch Him. He was not defiled by her, she was cleansed by Him. He still receives those who come to Him in that way.
It helps to understand what true repentance is. Scripture gives the example of Esau, who wept with tears after he had sold his birthright. His tears were not over his sin but over the loss of the blessing. He was bitter and angry that he had lost what he wanted, but he did not turn from what he had done. That is a warning for us. Sorrow over consequences is not the same as repentance before God. God is not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance, and true repentance shows itself in a changed direction. The apostle Paul told his hearers to repent, turn to God, and then do works that demonstrate that change. If there is no turning, there is reason to question whether repentance has happened.
God's grace is abundant, where sin abounded grace abounded even more, but that grace is never a reason to keep living in sin. The question is asked, shall we continue in sin so that grace may abound, and the answer is firmly no. How can we who died to sin still live in it. Before Christ we all lived according to the lusts of the flesh and of the mind, doing what came naturally to fallen people and being by nature children under wrath. When God forgives us, He makes us alive together with Christ and our life is now hidden with Christ in God. We are called to set our minds on Him and not on the things that fed the old life.
Prayer is part of that turning, but its purpose is not to get our own will done or to ask God for something so we can spend it on our desires. Prayer that asks amiss will not be answered. Prayer is meant to align us with God's will and to seek His help to walk in it. So bring this sin to Him plainly in prayer. Confess it without excuse, ask for His forgiveness through Jesus, and ask for His strength to turn from it. If you have been trying to bargain with God or to manage this quietly on your own, lay that down and come simply as a sinner needing His mercy.
You do not need to walk this out alone. It is wise to reach out to a trusted pastor or a mature Christian friend who can pray with you, encourage you, and help you guard your eyes, your mind and your daily habits. There is joy in heaven over one sinner who repents, and the same God who forgives is able to help you walk in newness of life. His grace is greater than any fall, and as you turn to Him in genuine confession and faith, you can know the reality of being forgiven and cleansed and the happiness that comes with it.
